ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
793: Best Wishes Until We Meet Again!	800: Besuto Uisshu! Mata Au Hi made!	Welcome to Kanto, Now Fuck Off!			The twerps arrive in Kanto and go their separate ways	800 Episodes to succeed, 1 episode to fail	When you get everything you wanted.... call it a day!

A Gyarados bursts out of the water alongside the cruise ship the twerps are on. The twerps are delighted to see it too, especially Iris who eagerly asks Cilan if it is a Dragon Type - it's not, but she's still excited by the idea of all the new Pokémon she is likely to see. Ash is pleased to see the creature that more often than not tried to kill him in the past, too! Why? Because he knows that he's almost back home, it's been 17 years since he first left Kanto, or roughly 9-10 months in Pokémon time!

Alexa steps up and tells them they're almost at Vermillion City, and tells them her own plans - she's going to get an interview with the prestigious Professor Oak! She acts surprised that Ash knows Oak, which indicates either she's a lousy journalist who has no idea that Professor Oak has an oddly intense interest in the young trainer (of course WE all know that it's because Oak is his daddy!), or she's a very cynical journalist who befriended Ash purely to get an in with Oak. Alternatively, she's a poor journalist who didn't connect the dots that Ash lived in Pallet Town and that Professor Oak lives in Pallet Town and gives out new Pokémon to new trainers! Or maybe Oak saw a photo of her from the chest up and was quick to agree to an interview!

In any case, they're almost to Kanto, and while everybody is excited, it'll soon be time for some of the people involved to say....


But as Alexa sits in her cabin going over her notes on a story, behind the ship Team Rocket are peddling furiously along in their Basculin submarine. Why furiously? Because they've realised how close the twerps are to landing at Kanto and they STILL haven't captured Pikachu! How can they get a promotion if they can't intercept and stop the twerps when they've spent so long "trapped" in a relatively confined space in the middle of the ocean!?!

So in desperation, Team Rocket make one final last resort shot at getting their hands on the fish in the barrel. Throwing all subtlety aside, Meowth hits a button that fires two clamps out to catch on to the twin propellers of the cruise ship and grind it to a lurching halt! But what next? As the twerps and other passengers try to figure out what is going on, Team Rocket reveal their plan to the viewer... and it is adorable! Crude cartoon drawings (Team Rocket apparently think in the same crude way that Pokémon do!) show them getting onboard, knocking out the twerps and Alexa and stealing their Pokémon! The image even shows Jesse hugging a KO'ed Helioptile and Axew with little love hearts around her! :3

Pedalling backwards as hard as they can, they reverse their submarine.... and the ship starts moving in reverse too! Damn, those guys can pedal! Up on the bridge, the Captain, who appears to be Hitler, demands to know what is going on. When it is reported that the propellers are jammed and they're moving backwards, his reaction makes a hell of a lot of sense - then crank up the power and move forward! That's why he's the Captain, as the crewmen follow his orders and they're quickly moving ahead again. Team Rocket's submarine is shaken and twisted about in the water, the trio inside thrown about wildly leaving them and their plans in a shambles... and Jesse in an oddly lewd position for a so-called kids' show! Still, it's equal opportunity lewdness, as in half a minute we see James on his back with his legs spread-eagled too!

Porter joins the twerps at the rear of the ship and uses his binoculars to spot the odd thing that has just surfaced. He identifies it as a Basculin and figures that is what jammed up their propellers. The twerps are surprised to see one so big, and Iris at least has the sensitivity to note that she feels bad that it might have been hurt as they sailed past. None of them feel bad enough that they ask to go back and look in on the Basculin though, sailing on while Team Rocket ponder the failure of yet another plan.

Since the Basculin Submarine idea failed, their next move is to jump into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon and sail after the ship. Plan B is incredibly unsubtle, as they literally just fly directly up to the ship and yell out of the basket that they're going to steal Pikachu! Obviously the twerps aren't pleased, but it seems Team Rocket have also taken the gloves off, because Meowth hits a button and THEY SHOOT ROCKETS AT THE TWERPS! The missiles blast straight towards them... then open to fire out clamps that catch on to the fore and aft of the ship. Four tubes drop on either side and out pops rapidly expanding balloons attached to cables. Inflating and lifting, the twerps stare in confusion wondering what is going on... and then the ship takes to the air! Let's see Captain Hitler crank up the engines on THIS plan!


Passengers panic and run about, and Captain Hitler..... actually DOES order engines to full power! His crewman is horrified, what the fuck is that supposed to do!?! Meanwhile, Alexa is missing the story of the year (well, month... well, week. A lot of crazy shit happens in this show) as she works on her story, headphones on and bopping along to music.

Passengers watch as they lift higher into the air, and Porter calls out to them to remain calm and get back to their cabins until this gets sorted out. Meanwhile, the twerps demand to know what Team Rocket are up to, and get their reply from Jesse.... who is dressed up as James on her right side!



Somebody, somewhere out there on the internet, is getting off on this.
Bizarrely, the twerps don't seem to notice that Jesse and James are literally one and the same person at the moment. Meowth goads them, saying that they're moments from getting their hands on the twerps Pokémon. The twerps deny this of course, and then a shorter than usual Porter with bigger than usual hair rushes up and asks them to please present their Pokémon for inspection.... and the twerps do it!

Oh my God these retarded kids.
Meowth hits a button and sucks up all the Pokéballs into a container strapped to his back, and "Porter" pulls out a net launcher that scoops up Pikachu and Axew when they try to get their buddies back from Meowth. Pikachu lets rip with Thunderbolt, but the net contains the blast, and all that happens is Axew gets fried. Pikachu immediately stops, while the twerps - still ignorant that this is NOT Porter - ask why he is working with Team Rocket. The real Porter shows up, wanting to know what is going on, and immediately spots that this other him isn't in fact him at all - he is him, the other is not! Laughing, the fake porter rips off his costume to reveal he is James, and Jesse/James finally twists around to a full body shot to reveal that she/he is just she.... though exactly how those half pants work is anybody's guess. She rips off the costume - luckily Team Rocket happened to have a full James bodysuit lying around lovingly cared for in Meowth's closet! - and flings it behind her, Team Rocket triumphant!

The twerps prepare to charge and for once do something for themselves, but Team Rocket bring out Frillish and Amoonguss to blast them backwards. The twerps fall into the open hold, Porter is sent crashing to the deck, and Team Rocket have actually done it, they've beaten the twerps and caught all the Pokémon - Plan B was a success and it only took 800 episodes to figure out how to do it!

Having won and gotten everything they ever wanted, Meowth makes the very reasonable suggestion that they cheese it out of there. It's exactly what they should do, they've won completely, they're triumphant, they have an airship and can take off and leave the cruise ship floating in the air till the balloons deflate enough that the ship lowers safely to the water - it's the perfect plan, it cannot fail! Haha, unless they, haha, unless they get greedy or somethin.....

Oh.
Declaring that the only thing better would be to steal the Pokéballs from every other passenger on the ship, they set off greedily to ruin all their hard work. Meanwhile down in the hole, the twerps recover from their fall and count themselves lucky to have landed on the giant pallet of soft sacks of... flour? Something like that. They need to get out, but without Pokémon they're basically quivering sacks of useless flesh... till Cilan comes up with a plan - they can do the stuff that children learn in pre-school and stack blocks!

Passengers continue to rush about in a panic, having apparently ignored Porter's earlier warning. Luckily for them, Porter is still alive, and he gets between fleeing passengers and the approaching Team Rocket. He warns them to back off, his duty is to look after the passengers and he won't let them get to them. Brave words, but Team Rocket make short work of him with another attack by their Pokémon, sending him flying over the rail, only a lucky grasp of the rail saving him from certain death. But while he has to struggle back to the deck, Team Rocket move on and activate their vacuum, sucking up the horrified passengers' Pokéballs. With the container finally filled up, even the greedy Team Rocket know that they've caught their limit, it is time for them to finally make their exit.

But meanwhile, the twerps have been busy, stacking boxes on the pallet to get them closer to the hook that they'll then be able to climb up and out of the hold. The final box goes up and they seem to be ready, but it is an unstable base they're standing on, and no good can come from it. It topples and Iris has to leap to the still standing section, which begins to wobble too. Ash leaps up and grabs the hook with one hand, throwing out the other for Cilan to grab. Cilan and Iris grab hands too and all three dangle, relying on Ash's scrawny arm to keep them from falling to their deaths.

Still, they're dangling from a hook quite far from the edges of the hold, they still need to get out. Iris begins swinging them, putting even more pressure on Ash's arm, trying to swing them close enough to the edge that they can get out. Meanwhile, Team Rocket have reached their balloon's rope ladder and grabbed on - it is time to leave, somehow not having fucked things up.... yet! Now it's yet time!

Beneath them, the twerps are swinging, and have enough momentum to let go of the hook and fly high into the air. Each of them tackles a Team Rocket in mid-air and all of them plummet towards the deck. The container strikes and opens, and Pokéballs go rolling out over the deck, all of Team Rocket's hard work utterly derailed. The twerps rush to check the Pokéballs, looking for their own, as always somehow able to figure out which of the identical balls are theirs. Spotting Pikachu and Axew still tied up in the net, they rush to get them out, but the knot is tied up too securely.

Team Rocket, also scooping up Pokéballs, realize that if Pikachu gets out they're all going to get shocked, and send in Frillish to stop the twerps. What they fail to take into account is that Ash has his other Pokémon back now, and amongst them is goddamn motherfucking holy shit Charizard! A simply Wing Attack blasts the fuck out of Frillish, and James brings out Amoonguss hoping the mushroom will hold up against the powerful Fire/Flying Type.... and of course gets blasted with a gust of flamethrower! It collapses to its back and James calls it back in a panic, and he and Jesse turn to Meowth in their hour of need - what can he come up with? He pulls out an oddly coloured cube and tells them he saved the best for last, and begins twisting it about like a Rubik’s Cube, saying it'll just take a moment to get it all lined up. But as he does that, Ash figures out the knot on the net and releases Pikachu and an incredibly :D looking Axew.

Jesse and James cry out that they need Meowth to hurry up, the cat insisting that genius takes time... before all three look up at the furious twerps and realize... oh yeah, they're pretty much fucked! Charizard uses Flamethrower, Pikachu uses Thunderbolt, Axew uses Dragon Rage and Pansage uses Solar Beam.... and a horrified Team Rocket throw the cube aside, turn around and FINALLY try to scarper... but it's too late! They're blasted into the air and right into their balloon, puncturing it and sending them blasting off again.... all the way to Kanto?

Ash, having no sense of the dangers of momentum, calls out Snivy and has her use Leaf Storm on the balloons. Happily Snivy is perhaps a little more sensible and her attack leaves thin cuts in the fabric of the balloons, allowing air to escape more slowly. The ship lowers at a reasonable rate and hits the water, the shockwave finally causing Alexa to take off her headphones and ponder just what the hell happened. Up on deck, grateful passengers lift Porter back over the rail and thank him profusely for defending them like he attempted to - a fitting farewell for what is probably the last appearance of the character.

A short time later, Alexa has been filled in on the basics of what happened and is shocked that she missed it all (as are the twerps!) and insists they give her all the details so she can write an article about it - a "first-hand" account? A splash in the water gets Ash's attention and with great pleasure he spots Magikarp leaping out of the water (please God let Stunfisk meet a Magikarp). Iris spots some Lapras (fucccccck), and Cilan sees... a Slowpoke and Slowbro! Awwwwww yessss!

Porter approaches and tells them seeing these Pokémon probably means they're almost at Kanto, and then he spots it approaching, they're about to arrive at Vermillion City! Iris and Cilan gape with pleasure at what to them is an approaching exotic location, and Ash turns and smiles with pleasure at them, enjoying the sight of his friend's happiness.

They dock and disembark, Porter waving goodbye and offering them "Best Wishes". The twerps, knowing this is the last time they'll see him, thank him for all his help and expertise - he made their trip a lot better. They head into the city and sit at a roadside cafe for a drink (I guess Alexa is putting it on her expense account?), where Iris drinks in the atmosphere of what to her is a foreign climate. When a flock of Pidgey fly by, she grabs Axew up and hugs him in sheer delight, unable to believe they've finally made it to Kanto.

Now she wants to go to Johto!
Everybody is shocked, wait... what the fuck? She JUST arrived in Kanto and she wants to go to Johto? Still thrilled, she declares that she can go to Johto and challenge Clair at her Gym, face a real expert at Dragons etc. She twists about on her heel, looking out over the city, unable to sit still she's so excited. Cilan says he can understand, and reveals that there is a big Fishing Tournament soon to be held in the Hoenn Region, and as a Fishing Connoisseur he just HAS to go. Ash looks surprised, but with a slightly bittersweet smile says he understands, he was exactly the same way on his first journey and he keeps forgetting that this is the first time that Iris or Cilan have ever been out of Unova - of COURSE they want to rush off and do as much of everything as they can. Cilan pulls out his organiser and reviews the train lines, and discovers that the line that could take Iris to Blackthorn City is one he has always wanted to ride on. He suggests the two of them ride together as long as they can before going their separate ways, and before Ash can say,"Hey what about if we hold on a fucking second here?", Alexa speaks up and says that if they wanna go RIGHT NOW, she and Ash can walk them.

Hang on a goddamn second here, they only JUST got to Kanto!


The sun sets as they reach the train station... and yeah, this is it, it's goodbye time. Iris and Cilan stand in the doorway of the train facing Ash, about to finally (and abruptly) part ways but unsure exactly how to deal with it. They ask where Alexa is, confused as to where she went, and she returns bearing two bizarre grey spikey things - apparently a type of packed lunch only found in Vermillion City. They take them with thanks, Cilan declaring he is a boxed lunch connoisseur, causing Ash to laugh that OF COURSE he is. Cilan and Iris declare their dreams again - Cilan to be the best Connoisseur possible, Iris to see and experience as many Dragon Types as possible and become a Dragon Master. Getting serious at last, they tell Ash how much they have enjoyed their travels together - it was a great journey, something that they'll never forget. Ash tells them he feels the same way, and Axew and Pikachu say their own happy goodbyes, Axew perhaps not quite grasping the significance of what is about to happen. The train alarm rings to indicate it is time to leave, and the door closes between them. They wave goodbye as the train departs the station, Ash waving and crying out the now typical,"BEST WISHES!" as they leave their everyday part of his lives behind.

Ash watches them go and recalls a montage of their journey together - good times, bad times, weird times, cross-dressing times, arguments and making up etc. The train pulls out of sight and Alexa puts a hand on Ash's shoulder, telling him it is time that they went too. He agrees, eyes MAYBE glistening just a little before he blinks and turns around. The two head on out of the station - Iris and Cilan's time with Ash has ended, Alexa is not a permanent companion, and Ash is back in Kanto. Unova is finally behind us, though the "and beyond" part is still running. We're nearing the end though, it's almost time for XY and a brand new beginning.... but for now, Adventures in Unova and Beyond is....

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