ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
788: Mystery on a Deserted Island!	794: Otakara no Nazo! Mujinto Adobencha!	The Treasure of the Pokémon Madre			The twerps hunt for pirate treasure!	The return of the Gratuitous Ass Shot	Learn to recognise when you're not welcome!

Today finds Alexa looking out over the ocean ahead as the cruise ship sails through the waters, Helioptile bouncing about happily on her fanny-pack and eager to play. The twerps come up to say hello and she excitedly points out the island ahead of them. Rather than showing their usual enthusiasm for the mundane, the twerps seem unimpressed till she shows them a piece of paper, and tells them it is the coded map to buried treasure! That gets them excited! They practically fall over themselves shouting out in delight, all of them now eager to get to the bottom of the....



They head into the dining room, which is empty - are they the only people on this fucking ship? She shows them a map of the island and the coded map, explaining that she first learned about the legend of the treasure when visiting a pirate museum. A famous (infamous?) pirate who always travelled with a Shiftry, Nidoking, Mismagius, Honchkrow, and Vulpix was said to have buried his Pokémon-related treasure (it's ALWAYS Pokémon-related) somewhere - though she could never find out exactly what the treasure was supposed to be. Still this probable tall-tale to attract tourists, in conjunction with the vaguely defined "treasure" got her all worked up to know more. During her investigations she found the map and the coded message the pirate left behind (did her research consist of going on Google?). The island in question is a deserted one nearby their actual destination - Frond Island - and she intends to find that treasure. The twerps want to come along, of course, and so do Team Rocket, who have been eavesdropping in their disguise of "some tourists". Their plan is to follow the twerps, let them do all the work and then swoop in and grab the treasure for themselves. What kind of treasure? Treasury-treasure of course! They all imagine revelling in gold and silver and diamonds and pearls, Meowth declaring that you can never have enough "diamonds and poils!"

True, the Sinnoh Region was a pretty great period for the show!

The cruise ship lands at Frond Island and Alexa takes the twerps by speed boat to the deserted island, jutting out of the water with a ring of seemingly unclimbable cliffs. According to the map though there is a passage through them, and they set out to find it. When they finally spot it (it wasn't exactly hidden) they head straight for it only for a whirlpool to kick up out of nowhere. The speedboat is spun around and twerps are left dizzy and confused, passing out. When they wake, they discover to their surprise they're through the passage into the inlet. Alexa, proving what an AMAZING journalist she is, shrugs and says she guesses they made it through somehow. She is wearing her helmet cam and, despite the fact nearly 90 minutes have passed, doesn't think to look back on her own footage and see what happened to them and how they got where they are!

The inlet is full of turns and sharp corners, and a timid Cilan asks Alexa to please be careful. They continue on, Helioptile terrified when it hears the warning cry of a Honchkrow come emanating up the passage. Perched on a tree limb over the water, three Honchkrow glare at the twerps, with Cilan nervously suggesting maybe they are getting a Honchkrow evaluation. One of them flies on ahead, Alexa continuing to chug along despite the fact they're clearly not wanted on the island. Deep beneath them, Team Rocket pedal along in their Basculin Submarine, even getting in a little old fashioned rhyming as they declare they'll get the treasure, Pikachu AND please the Boss.

They enter an interior bay and Alexa says the map shows they're getting close, then looks up and... yep, there's a beached pirate ship RIGHT THERE COMPLETELY IN THE OPEN. How the fuck has anybody from Frond Island (or anywhere else?) not found this place yet? Why did Alexa even need a map?

They land on the shore and Pikachu rushes up to the boat, tapping the wood with his tail and causing part of the hull to collapse. Iris notes that the boat is in pretty poor shape, and Ash immediately, happily declares they should walk inside the boat that is hairsbreadth away from collapsing on them entirely. Cilan is smart enough to note the obvious danger, while Iris proves herself as childishly silly as Ash by insisting there is nothing to be concerned about. Helioptile is feeling nervous too, but Alexa agrees they'll be fine and they all walk into the deathtrap.

Team Rocket think the time is right to strike and prepare to surface. Unfortunately they don't look where they're going and slam right into the part of the boat that is still in the water. Inside, the twerps are knocking into the walls and hear the groaning of the boat, and realise at last that being inside this thing is really fucking stupid. They rush out the hole in the side as the boat sinks back into the water and quickly falls to the bottom of the bay, all filmed by Alexa. Ash is dejected, this means no treasure, since he paid no attention to the story of the treasure being BURIED on the island. But then they spot a carving in the wall hidden from sight before by the boat. It seems to be a door, and Alexa thinks it will lead them on to the treasure.

Consulting her coded map, they note that the symbols on her map don't correspond to the ones on the carved door. So is this the wrong place? Not quite, as Ash finds out when he ignores all this high-faluting "reading" stuff to go up and physically touch the door. One of the stones shifts inside, allowing another stone to shift into its place, and Cilan guesses that the doorway is actually a puzzle. If they move the stones, they can make the symbols on the door match those on the map, and open it.

Most pirates are content just to put a big X on a map after burying it in the ground somewhere.

Watched by a Honchkrow, they set to working on the carvings, and soon (well, it took roughly 2 hours) they've solved the puzzle. With a rumble and a cloud of dust the door opens, and Ash is straight through and up the stairwell on the other side, followed by the enthusiastic twerps, Alexa and a still concerned Helioptile.

They exit to find themselves in the island interior, but as Alexa begins to offer more narration blasts of energy suddenly hit the ground in front of them. They're under attack by two Mismagius, which blast Shadow Balls at them next. Angered, the twerps call out Snivy and Dragonite, who dodge the next attack and hit back with their own – Leaf Blade and Ice Beam. With the Mismagius temporarily out of the picture, they rush on further into the island, none of them seemingly questioning whether they SHOULD continue on in light of the local Pokémon obviously finding them unwelcome.

As they rush down the path, Helioptile gets Alexa's attention and they watch as three Eevee leap in a panic out of the bushes and run to hide by a rock. They're followed by a pissed off Nidoking, which lunges forward to menace them only to be cut off by Pikachu. Cheeks sparking, Pikachu's tail turns iron in preparation to blast Nidoking in the head, but when it spots the move it suddenly calms down and walks away. The Eevee, either pleased to be safe or enjoying looking right up Pikachu's asshole, smile happily while the twerps step up to congratulate Pikachu for saving the day. Cilan suggests Nidoking may have been chasing Eevee because of hunger, and what follows suggests he means the Eevee were caught trying to eat food on Nidoking's territory. But I can't help but hear those words and immediately think that Nidoking was trying to eat the Eevee themselves, which is all kinds of fucked up! In any case, he gives the Eevee some Pokémon food, and Iris has Axew give them some berries (not apples today!). Helioptile jumps down to join them and they all play, Alexa pleased to see her neurotic Pokémon actually having fun for once.

Back down at the bay, Team Rocket emerge wearily from the water cursing their bad luck at crashing into a derelict pirate ship. Meowth, talking through a mouthful of seaweed, says they need to pick up the slack, and they rush on up the stairs. Emerging on the other side, they're immediately attacked by the recovered Mismagius, who apparently don't ever move from this location. Furious, Jesse calls out Woobat to fight them.

Alexa and Cilan go over her map and say that as near as they can figure they need to hear for a nearby mountain. Iris is excited at the idea of finding the treasure, and they're all surprised when the Eevee make it clear they want to come along too. Iris tells Axew to look after the newcomers, and he thumps his chest in proud affirmation.

They continue on and once again Helioptile gets scared, and once again world-renowned journalist Alexa fails to grasp that this generally means SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN! Sure enough, out of nowhere they're bombarded with what appears to be Razor Leaf attack but which I'll angrily be told soon after posting this was actually Leaf-Razor Attack or maybe Confuse Ray. What is attacking them? Well it's Shiftry! The pissed off old man of the forest, and that means Ash and Cilan are in danger of being murdered and Iris and Alexa are in even worse danger of becoming Mrs. Shiftry!

Ash calls out Pignite to combat the enraged old forest-man, using Flamethrower to blast through the Bullet Seeds. Axew uses Dragon Rage, terrifying Shiftry which obviously doesn't like the notion of throwing down with what appears to be a pissed off Dragon (funny that). After being blasted, the sooty old man zooms away.... only to return moments later with two more equally pissed off looking Shiftry! Ash is appalled - THREE dirty old men to fight off? What is this, Friday Night at the Working Man's Club!?! Meanwhile, speaking of rape:



What the hell as happened? Well, Team Rocket - having defeated the Mismagius - have been watching the twerps fighting the Shiftry through binoculars from a cliff-top. Figuring they could take advantage of the twerps' distraction to get ahead of them to the treasure, they full on just leaped right off the cliff - years of blasting off again making them immune to fatal falls. Unfortunately for them, they landed right on top of one pissed off Nidoking, and now Jesse and James at least are offering it two very tempting targets. They cheese it, chased by Nidoking as it blasts long purple things at them (hey hey!), and James calls out Yamask to try and fight it off.

Meanwhile, the twerps have gotten clear of the pissed off Shiftry and stopped to catch their breath. Trying to figure out why they're being attacked by the Pokémon, what is it about them coming uninvited into these Pokémon’s territory that has upset them so? Alexa decides to go over all their encounters so far, and lists the Pokémon. Honchkrow, Mismagius, Nidoking and Shiftry.... and Alexa FINALLY clicks that these are the same Pokémon that were in the long-ago pirate's "gang". That proves this was the pirate's hideaway (that and the big fucking pirate ship they found!), but what about the Vulpix that was always with the pirate? They figure if they keep on going forward, they'll run into it as well, and decide to take a break to catch their breath and regather their strength.

This means Team Rocket have been able to get ahead of them, having fought off the Nidoking and gotten all the way to the top of the mountain ahead of the twerps. At the top, stone carvings of the Pokémon confuse James, what are they for? Jesse gets furious at him getting distracted, shouting she doesn't care about hunks of rock, where is the goddamn treasure? Alarmed, James tries to calm her down and Meowth reminds her in a panic that the whole point of a treasure hunt is that you have to HUNT for the treasure. Suddenly they find themselves under an imposing shadow, and look up to see....



Well, this ain't good!

The Ninetales glows bright and blasts them with multiple globes of green light, sending them blasting off again as the twerps finally arrive at the top of the mountain. They spot the statues, but there is no sign of Ninetales. They explore amongst the statues, noting the lack of Vulpix, and then Alexa catches sight of Ninetales appearing from nowhere. It blasts at them with flames and they scatter in a panic, Axew bravely shielding the Eevee behind him. Ash checks out Ninetales with his Pokédex and learns that it is thought to live for at least 1000 years, so could this be the very same Pokémon as the one that was the pirate's closest companion?

Whatever the case, it wants to fight and Ash knows he needs to bring out the big guns to deal with such a powerful Pokémon - so he brings out Charizard! Ninetales dodges Flamethrower and blasts Charizard back, but while it stuns him it doesn't put him down, Charizard don't go down that easy! He attempts a Dragon's Tail but Ninetales uses Doubleteam to avoid the attack and blasts a flamethrower of its own. Charizard dodges and then uses Slash, connecting with great satisfaction with the Ninetales and then slamming it with Dragon's Tail, sending it off the top of the mountain and crashing down into the forest far, far below. 1000 year old super-powered fox-spirit? Pfft, no problem for Charizard!

Ninetales out of the way, Alexa goes over the map but can't find any indication of what to do next, and there is no sign of the treasure just lying around on the open ground or anything so she is all out of ideas. But Axew has been curiously clawing at the ground and exposes what seems to be a man-made half-tube, and Iris suggests it might have been used to gather rain. That gives Ash an idea, and he has Oshawott use Hydro-Pump to clear out the dirt. The half-tube fills with water, moving from Pokémon statue to Pokémon statue and ending up at the empty "platform" where Ninetales was found earlier... and now a Ninetales statue pops up into view, and a doorway is revealed with stairs leading down inside the mountain. The twerps are delighted, the treasure must be down there... but then who should return but... no, not Ninetales, it's Team Rocket! They haven't given up!

"You're wrong again, no surprise there!"
"To get it right would cause quite a scare!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"It's Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Team Rocket hunting for treasure at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare for a treasure troving fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"

Alexa - world renowned journalist - has no idea who the fuck these people are, so the twerps fill her in... they're the bad guys! They demand to know what they want and Team Rocket inform them (kinda sorta accurately a little bit kinda) that they were there first, and thus the treasure should be theirs. They call out Yamask and Woobat to help them stake their claim... but they're exhausted from their earlier fighting! To Jesse and James' credit, they recall their Pokémon immediately, even apologising for their thoughtlessness!

Before they have a chance to call out their other Pokémon, they're hit with a Thunderbolt from Pikachu and sent blasting off again, and this time they won't be back.

The twerps head down the stairs and discover a treasure chest sitting right there - it turns out the treasure wasn't figurative at all! Alexa approaches and opens the chest and inside are what at first appear to be glowing gems.... until they look closer and realise what they really are - evolution stones! Valuable yes, but were they really worth all the effort that went into hiding them?

Cilan grasps the significance though, remembering the Pokémon that worked with the pirate, all of whom required the use of Evolution Stones to evolve - in fact all of the Pokémon on this island can make use of Evolution Stones. Cilan even points out that at the time that the pirate lived, Evolution Stones were far rarer and more valuable than they currently are - these really were a treasure in their time.

The Ninetales returns above ground to sit by its statue, while down below the three Eevee step forward and touch a stone each, evolving into Jolteon, Flareon and Vaporeon. Alexa films it happily but Helioptile again looks concerned and motions to the three newly evolved Pokémon, which appear to be standing guard in front of the chest. Understanding what Helioptile is getting at, she takes her helmet cam off and erases the recordings of the day. The twerps are surprised, but she explains that she wants to keep the place a secret on behalf of the island's Pokémon - this can be the place where the Pokémon come to evolve at appropriate times, the stones will be a permanent fixture instead of being taken away to sit in a collector's home or a museum somewhere. The newly evolved Pokémon nod their approval, and they all return to the surface where they find....



Oooooh shit.

Cilan tells them he understands they were only protecting the stones and Ash apologises for fighting them, and they all promise they'll leave the island now and keep their secret. Ninetales gives a slight nod and allows them to depart (like it could stop Charizard anyway!), and they sail away in their speedboat waving their goodbyes. The Pokémon are left behind to enjoy the freedom of their own island, free from the presence of human beings... and that is the REAL treasure.

BEST QUOTES

"A treasure hunt means ya gotta hunt for treasure, which we haven't done yet!"

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