91: Snack Attack!
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Bollocks!
Ol' Spooky Danny gave him his brooch as a sign of their love, although ignorant Ash just doesn't - as usual - get it and believes it's a Gym Badge.
Anyway, as they travel along on Lapras, Jigglypuff happily swims along afterwards, obviously in love with it's almost always captive audience of lovebirds Ash and Misty.
Arriving on one of the Grapefruit Islands, Ash grabs a grapefruit to eat and a girl called Ruby appears, swinging a baseball bat Goodfella's style.
Ruby Pesci, perhaps?
After sorting out the problem, the foursome sit around chatting about recent thieving problems Ruby has encountered on the Island.
As they talk, Pikachu shows how much of a weakass it is as it desperately tries to lift the grapefruit they grabbed.
The thief strikes again, but this time they discover it's not a who but a what, Snorlax to be exact.
The fabulous three are shocked of course, Tracey in total disbelief that anything could be chubbier than him.
Ruby sends her boys in (again, Goodfellas stuff going on) and Snorlax slaps them away easily.
Seeing the futility of a physical attack, Ruby decides to pick all the grapefruit before Snorlax can eat them, but after some hard work grabbing all the fruits, Snorlax promptly begins heading for their harvest.
In an effort to impress Misty, Ash stands up to Snorlax and tries to fight him, and just like with Mewtwo he gets his ass whipped, sent flying with an indifferent swipe of an arm.
As Snorlax begins to chow down, Ash sends out Bulbasaur to fight it, following up on a suggestion by Tracey that they capture it.
Bulbasaur's attacks all fail miserably, of course, and Misty, feeling very bitchy, keeps making harsh little digs at it designed to make Ash feel bad.
All right! All right! So Spooky Danny passed you up for Ash, so Brock is gone and Tracey is chubby, why don't you just stop living in denial and leave the poor boy alone!
Damn wimmin.
After eating the entire Island's supply of grapefruit (no lie!!!!) Snorlax walks to the beach and begins to flap it's arms, leading Ash to wonder if it's going to fly. Schmuck.
Snorlax doesn't fly, of course, just leaps into the water and begins swimming along, leading Ash to comment that it's doing the blubberfly!
Why, with quick quips like that, Ash could be an action hero!
Meanwhile, on the other Island, our beloved Team Rocket are happy for once, grabbing grapefruit to enjoy a small feast.
It must be noted that they're stealing the grapefruit unknowingly, the really believe it's free (just like Ash, Misty and Tracey did, but they were forgiven of course) and aren't even thinking of wrongdoing or attacking anyone.
This Grapefruit has thin skin, comments Jesse happily.
Just like you, Jesse! quips James, leading her to thrust a grapefruit into his mouth.
We're not sure why James has such trouble getting his mouth around the grapefruit, surely he has practise with getting big objects past his lips?
(EWWWWW!!!!!)
After Meowth hurts his paw trying to skin a Grapefruit, James comments that he remembers servants giving him Grapefruit skin candy as a boy.
This leads Jesse to elbow him affectionately about having had servants as a child.
Taking the grapefruit down to their Magikarp submarine, Snorlax arrives and floods the shore with a tidal wave of water.
Jesse, James and Meowth sit spluttering on the shore, Jesse with her hair wet and down, and damn she looks COOL with her hair down!!!!
Ash, Misty and Tracey arrive right after, and of course accuse the trio of stealing, just as they were accused.
Of course this time, if J, J & M say they weren't stealing either, no one is just going to believe them.
It's so unfair!
Anyway, taking on Snorlax again with Squirtle, the little turtle get's his ass beat by Snorlax's bodyslam, and Misty finally decides to show Ashy-Boy how it's done.
And gets her ass handed to her on a stick.
After Staryu's defeat, she calls out Goldeen (um, remember Pokemon Emergency Misty? Goldeen is a WATER Pokemon) and Snorlax tries to eat it!
She then offers Togepi as a snack to Snorlax but Ash and Tracey convince the negligent mother to put the freaky egg thing away.
She is spared any further embarrassment when Team Rocket appear to battle Snorlax.
Jesse sends out Arbok but Snorlax just towers over it, it's master's deserting it as it murmurs nervously,"Char?" before being crushed by a body slam.
She then sends out Lickitung, but Snorlax simply uses it tongue to wipe his mouth, which is as close as a Snorlax has gotten to a French kiss since Psyduck and Meowth got their freak on with on back in Wake Up, Snorlax!
James calls on Victribell, who tries to eat him off course, but then does as it's told and attacks Snorlax.
BODYSLAM!
No more Victribell.
Misty all of a sudden decides Psyduck is the perfect Pokemon to fight Snorlax.
Yeah, that's right, well done Misty.
After Psyduck nearly chokes to death on a Grapefruit, Misty realises she's useless, she's lost her edge since getting saddled with that freaky egg thing.
That really depressed me, we felt so sad, we were going to just lie down and die, and then.....
JAMES!
Emerging in cape and ruffles, holding a pendulum and cast in a dramatic spotlight comes James!
Unable to hold in his love of dramatic flair and The-Ater any longer, the deliciously gay James attempts to hypnotise Snorlax....... and ends up putting himself to sleep!
Ash, Misty and Tracey, despite the failure of James' attempt, see the intelligence of his move and try to massage Snorlax into relaxing and falling asleep.
When that fails, Misty tries an old mother's trick and begins counting Snorlax, inadvertently nearly putting herself to sleep.
Psyduck yucks it up at her which makes the fiery red head very mad... and then Jesse arrives.
This is very, very dodgy.
Ash mistakenly believes that she is dressed up as Snorlax's mother and is trying to get him to go to bed.
But from the suggestive way she lies in the bed, holding the sheet open for Snorlax and the VERY suggestive wide open mouth of Snorlax (much like certain rubber dolls that Tim's never seen in real life ever, seriously mother!) we tend to think Jesse was planning on tiring out Snorlax in a whole other way!!!!
EWWWW!
Anyway, James and Meowth try to set the romantic scene by singing, which just irritates Snorlax and causes him to superkick them away, so that they're blasting off again!
Poor Team Rocket.
Ash and Misty both share a laugh after Team Rocket have blasted off, but Tracey seems subdued and sad. We guess he appreciates Jesse, James and Meowth for the talented, dramatic geniuses that they are.
Realising they need Jigglypuff to put Snorlax to sleep (okay, did anyone else NOT see that coming?) they rush to the third Island and set up a huge stage and microphone, with multicoloured markers.
Snorlax arrives, and Ash begins chanting Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff, which finally draws the cute little balloon out.
Seeing the stage, it ecstatically rushes up and begins singing.
Action Hero Ash shakes off the effects of Jigglypuff's song and he and Pikachu attack the now sleepy Snorlax, putting it out and causing massive property damage in the process. Damn, he could be an Action Hero.
Excited at capturing Snorlax, Ash throws his arm up in the air, then collapses in a heap as Jigglypuff's song penetrates his addled brain.
CUTENESS ALERT! Pikachu snores!
Puffing up in a rage, of course, Jigglypuff grabs the markers and draws over everyone's faces, amusingly giving both Tracey and Misty goatees!
After they've woken and cleaned up, Ruby gives Misty some grapefruit candy to thank her for saving their entire crop and keeping their business afloat.
Candy.
For saving a multi-billion dollar industry.
We guess they didn't get rich writing cheques, as the saying goes.
In excitement a worker rushes up and tells Ruby that all the eaten trees are growing back wherever Snorlax was.
They muse that maybe Snorlax leaves behind something special to help the trees grow back, and Misty happily proclaims that out of something bad something good can come.
Now don't go getting all teary eyed at this scene kids, because they're talking about SHIT!
That's right, great big heaping dumps of Snorlax SHIT! that's what is making the trees grow back, it's fertiliser, excrement, the grapefruit splatters!
Sheeee-it!
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