ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
016: Pokémon Shipwreck	016: Pokémon Hyoryuki	Magikarp Saves The Day			The Pokéseidon Adventure	If they go, they'll go looking good	Kick a karp and you will get your come-uppance

Last episode saw the kids stop Team Rocket from stealing all the Pokémon onboard the cruise ship the St. Anne. But now the ship is sinking, with the kids and the Team Rocket trio passed out onboard. They're soon to find themselves re-enacting the Poseidon Adventure... but without Gene Hackman!



The sun is rising (or setting perhaps?) as Officer Jenny stands on a naval frigate making a speech. They realised too late that Ash, Misty, Brock, Jesse and James did not escape, and are running on the assumption that they're no dead, though they haven't bothered to actually do a search of conduct a rescue attempt. Either she's too lazy to do so, or she's accepted the shipping company's bribe to just let the matter rest. So she says a few kind words about their lives being cut short (presumably she thinks Jesse and James were waiters), doesn't say a thing about the many dead Pokémon that would have been with them, then drops some flowers into the water. Standing dramatically, she salutes as the Navy Men take the chance to check out her ass.

Brock and Misty awaken Ash, and to his gaze they appear to be upside down. Not so, it seems that the up-side down ship has seen him caught on a coffee table, and one he realises this he quickly falls as the laws of cartoon physics dictate, Pikachu sticking out of his ass. He looks out the window and sees fish (not Pokémon!) swimming, and realises that they've sunk below the water. Luckily for them they're caught on a rocky pillar just over a massive abyss. So for now, they're as safe as anyone can be when inside a gigantic tin can many fathoms deep below the ocean.

But what of Jesse and James? Well it seems that they figured out an escape of their own somehow! We find them on a desert island, with no Meowth in sight, and showing a tremendous amount of skin!

"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above!" they mumble together.
"Ahhh, Jesse," sighs Jesse happily.
"James with the perfect tan," grins James.
"There's nothing like a tropical vacation."
"The blue sea."
"The white sand."
"And the blazing sun above."
"Ahhh the sun!"
"Yes that blazing sun! Fiery and burning! Burning. Burning. BURNING!" screams James.

Flames appear over their vision and their hair catches on fire, Meowth appearance to scream at them they've picked the wrong place for a cat-nap!

Yes it seems the island was all a dream, and they've been sleeping under the ovens in the St. Anne kitchen and their beautiful hair is on fire! They throw their heads under some flowing water, putting out their hair before they leap into the nearby corridor. Meowth seems to be quite cheerful despite the sinking ship, smiling and making jokes, unable to resist his pun-ishment. James gets all theatrical, clutching his head and squealing that they're doomed, but Jesse takes control. She snaps at him to calm down, tired of his flamboyant hogging of the spotlight that she wants all for herself! She has a plan, and calls out Ekans, making it use it's Acid to burn a hole in the floor so that they can escape from The St. Anne. Of course water immediately comes pouring through the hole, Meowth's good cheer quickly fading as he, Jesse, James and Ekans are swept away.

Bright idea Jesse!
Ash, meanwhile, is trying to get his head around the predicament they're in. Since the ship is upside down, and they're under-water, then they have to go down to the deck in order to get up? For once he's gotten it right, but his good mood quickly fades when Brock brings up the point that if they come across a dead-end, they're done for.

Misty has a solution, though, she has Pokémon that can breathe underwater and can lay out a path for them to follow. She sends it to find a way through, but all it finds is... a drowning Team Rocket! The kids are given a huge fright when a dead looking James' face appears out of the water followed by Jesse and Meowth. Goldeen has stacked them on her back and swum back to Misty, throwing them out into the open air. Despite being half-drowned, Team Rocket know that the show must go on and once they manage to get in half a lungful of air they attempt to perform their motto once again.

"Prepare... prepare for trouble!" moans Jesse.
"Yessss," gasps James,"Make it.. double!"
Really realising who it is at last, they leap to their feet and pull out their Pokéballs, believing they have the kids right where they want them! Ash and Brock are up for it to, and as Ekans and Koffing emerge (how did Ekans get back into his Pokéball? last we saw he was trapped underwater with the rest of them!) they call out their own Pokémon, which immediately unbalances the ship!

It begins to tilt into the abyss, making them all slide over to the wall. Ash orders all the Pokémon to the other side of the ship but this unbalances things the other way, and Geodude's fat-ass isn't helping. Finally they manage to find a precarious balance and Misty yells at Ash and Brock to recall their Pokémon. They don't want to be defenceless against Team Rocket, but Misty quite rightly points out that they can't exactly battle in this situation anyway. They do as they're told, and Jesse and James follow suit when Misty points out their lives are in danger too. After all, the only thing more important than stealing Pokémon to Team Rocket is preserving their own life and beauty! Everybody shakes hands hesitantly, deciding to put their animosity aside in the interest of not being dead. Jesse and Ash in particular are unhappy with the situation, while Brock tries to man up and clenches hard on James' hand, who just seems bemused by the whole thing. Even Pikachu and Meowth shake paws, though Meowth gets a little thundershock thrown in for good measure.



Misty tells off Pikachu, then tells the others they can trust her to lead them... she built her own St. Anne once! Well... a model of it, anyway! This does mean she knows how it works though, she can take them up to the bottom of the ship, then they'll burn a hole through the hull to escape. Brock calls out Onix to form a stairwell for them climb up, and Misty orders everybody forward, getting a "Yes ma'am!" from Team Rocket.

On the next level the lights are out, so Ash brings out Charmander to help light their way. Misty directs them to the engine room, but the stairs are broken and flames burn along the roof below them.

"Jessica," says James, more serious than usual.
"Yes, James?" she asks.
"Whoever said beauty doesn't last, must have been thinking of us!"
"I'll always remember what a wonderful dresser you were," sniffs Jesse.
"So will I," agrees James!

Misty snaps them out of it angrily, knowing they don't have time for soppy sentimentality. Ash knows there must be a way across the burning inferno, at least a way that doesn't involve him hanging from a sluice pump wheel and plummeting to the burning flames below a lá Gene Hackman. Pikachu gives his brain a jump start (zap!) at his request, and then calls out Bulbasaur and has it use it's vine-whip to form two tight-ropes across the burning room.

Showing remarkable balance, Ash, Misty and Brock walk over Bulbasaur's vines to the opposite door. James goes over all dramatic again, wanting to be heroic and brave by insisting that Jesse and Meowth go on without him. Jesse instantly responds by hitting him with several back-hands, yelling his name each time she hits him.

"James! James! James! James! James! snap out of it!" she growls
"Oh Jesse, please don't abandon me!" cries James after she tells him they'll cross together. They turn around, and instantly spot that Bulbasaur is now on the other side of the engine room and apparently done with waiting!
"Send the vines back!" they roar in terror.

Once over, Team Rocket pant heavily before Ash sends out Charmander to burn through the metal hull of the ship. "Grab a Water Pokémon!" Misty tells them, the next step in her plan. The hull bursts and after returning Charmander, Ash hooks him and Pikachu to Squirtle and follows Misty/Goldeen and Brock/Staryu up the water now bursting into the room.... and Team Rocket are left behind! THEY HAVE NO WATER POKEMON!

Or do they?

James begins to laugh darkly, making Jesse and Meowth think he's cracked up.
"You really made fun of me," he chuckles theatrically, his back to Jesse and Meowth,"But who's got the last laugh now! Well a true genius is never appreciated until there's trouble, I knew we'd need this in a tight spot!"
He twists about dramatically, the golden Poke-ball he bought earlier from the Mexican Magikarp Salesman thrust out before him. Meowth hugs onto Jesse, both of their faces alight.
"Could it be?" they gasp, "Magikarp?"
They bow before James, claiming they're not worthy, and then he calls out the king of carp, Magikarp! Meowth promises to give James the respect he deserves, to which James sniffs a haughty reply that it's about time! As dramatically as possible, he throws his Pokéball out, calling the mighty Magikarp forth.

Out it pops, splashing and moaning incoherently its own name, while James begins to push things now, bragging how it's a good thing he brought it, even if it did cost next month’s salary. Jesse, who has firmly established herself as Team Leader, was willing to give James his due but he's pushing it a bit now, so she snaps at him to quit bragging. They quickly tie themselves to the flailing Magikarp, and then James cries out heroically that it is time for them to escape! Meowth hugs onto Jesse's hip (like you wouldn't!), James stands bravely with arm flung out and Magikarp.... continues to just sit there splashing about in the water, going nowhere, just sitting there, splashing!

"Don't tell me this fish can't swim," cries Jesse.
"Forget swim, it can barely splash!" returns Meowth angrily, while a dejected James realises that his last chance to be a hero is gone.... and so are they! Jesse cries out that they're doomed, and then the water pumping into the open hole in the hull finally tips the St. Anne and over it goes into the black depths.

Is this the end of Team Rocket?

Up on the ocean surface the kids have settled down onto a raft (where did it come from?), while Ash wonders blankly where Team Rocket is. While he and Misty are concerned, Brock seems awfully eager to go find dry land and leave them to their fate.

Ash can't figure out how they'll find land, so Brock very carefully mentions the story of Noah, being very, very careful not to step on any religious sensibilities by not mentioning God, Jews, Nazi's or whipped cream.

Ash - impressed by this totally non-secular story - sends out Pidgeotto, which rushes off to find land and instead finds..... TEAM ROCKET! Magikarp, more gas than anything, has floated it's way to the surface, carrying Team Rocket with it!

Bringing them back to the raft, the trio think Team Rocket are dead, and Brock decides the "only decent thing" to do is to bury them at sea. They push the corpses back towards the water (Jesus Christ, these are some horrible fucking children!) and J & J instantly sit up, causing the kids to scream out in fear that they're zombies!

Meanwhile Meowth has fallen back into the water, splashing about madly before pulling himself back in. Pikachu snaps it's fingers angrily... did it actually want Meowth to die! Goddamn that's cold!

Later that night, they all try to sleep while Magikarp continues to splash incoherently on the raft between the two groups. The night passes, and the next day they continue to sit and watch as Magikarp continues to flail about incoherently. Ash, Brock, Jesse, James, Meowth and Pikachu are dejectedly hungry while Misty is angrily hungry. James moans that he wants some food, and Jesse snaps at him to stop it!

Ash and Brock stare at the incoherently splashing Magikarp, and think of filleted Karp and fried Karp, while Jesse thinks of fresh marinated Karp and James of Karp Flambé! Meowth loses it and leaps into action, throwing his mouth around Magikarps head and biting deep to taste the succulent, juicy fle... and his teeth break on the scales of the Magikarp!

Misty grumpily explains that Magikarp is just scales and bone, while Meowth holds his cheeks and cries. James finally loses it, going crazy and leaping up before throwing his leg back and punting Magikarp into the water, he has had enough! It flails about in even more agitation than usual, causing Misty to say that now she feels sorry for it. But while her rage has faded, another's rage is growing, and it isn't James'!

A white light shines up around the splashing Magikarp, then out of nowhere appears.... Gyarados! Magikarp has evolved from one of the most useless Pokémon in the world to one of the meanest, ill-tempered and powerful Water Pokémon there is... and James just kicked it a couple of minutes ago!



Of course, his own rage at the useless Pokémon has disappeared now that it is impressive, and he introduces himself to Gyarados as its master... till it roars angrily at him and he cowers like a wimp before it.
"Dim-wit!" growls Jesse, "If you're the master, don't act like you're scared of it!"
"I am scared!" cries James.

Misty is ready though, calling out her Water Pokémon, and Brock asks how she means to battle it. Her strategy? TO LEG IT! Tying her Pokémon up to the raft, they pull it away at rapid speed (why didn't they do this earlier?), while the angry Gyarados gives chase.

Ash, Misty, Brock, Jesse help by rowing with staffs, while James lamely paddles the water with his hand. The Gyarados stops and Brock wonders if, due to its recent evolution, it might not be tired out.

"We made it!" laugh Jesse and James, hugging.
"Unless the stories are true," says Misty ominously, then tells about how sailors tell terrible stories of the terrifying Gyarados... though what Misty is doing hanging around with sailors is a mystery,"This might be Dragon Rage!"
"DRAGON RAGE!" they cry in terror.

Waves begin to lap up, and out of the water appear even MORE Gyarados, apparently summoned by James'. They begin to circle around and around, forming a whirlpool which becomes a water whirl-wind, catching up their raft and sucks them up into the tornado. Ash tries to hold on to Brock, Misty and Pikachu, but the power of Dragon Rage is too much and they're pulled away from each other as the episode comes to a sudden, unexpected end, perhaps.... forever!?!

We'll find out next time!

BEST QUOTES

"Whoever said beauty doesn't last, must have been thinking of us!" "I'll always remember what a wonderful dresser you were!" "So will I!"

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