ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
015: Battle Aboard the St. Anne!	015: Santo Annu-go no Tatakai!	COOOOOOOOOOOL!			The kids go on a titanic boat trip	James' Crossdressing Exploits begin	Beware vendors pedalling useless fish

Today finds the kids still in Vermillion City, where a cheerful Ash is admiring his recently won Thunder Badge while heading towards the docks. He spots a large cruise ship in the distance and his eyes sparkle some more, as the narrator asks whether Ash's ship has come in.



Sailors chat and citizens stand around enjoying the sight of the cruise ship, and Misty in particular is enthralled. She imagines herself in a skimpy bikini (she's 10 you monsters!) enjoying the sun, but her fantasy is spoiled by Brock who whispers in her ear that they could never afford a cruise like that. She sighs and all three trudge off in despondency, Ash complaining that reality can really bum you out.

You're a school drop-out travelling around the countryside cockfighting and getting free food and accommodation at Government-run Pokémon Centres specifically put aside for you and your freeloading ilk! What do you know about reality!?!

But suddenly fantasy intrudes on reality once more! Two chipper schoolgirls come leaping into their way squeaking out that the trio are so lucky, because they can go on a super deluxe sea-cruise! Wearing pulled up socks, short skirts with tanned skin and white lipstick, the two suspiciously familiar girls hand over tickets for the St. Anne cruise ship. As the girl in the background lifts a leg and wriggles about while cooing,"COOOOOOOOOL!", the other girl with the long sweeping hair explains that the tickets are for a party on the St. Anne that ONLY Pokémon trainers can attend. Brock tries to explain they have no money but the girl insists, saying they are free and they can't use them themselves because, like, they totally have to go out with their boyfriends! Handing over the tickets, they wish the kids a good time and then flounce away, kicking up their legs as they run and leaving the kids utterly bewildered but pleased.

The kids head off in search of the St. Anne and discover it is the big cruise ship they saw earlier that they found so inspiring. As they look it over, they watched by the two schoolgirls from the bushes, the blond giggling about how she makes the COOOOOOOOLEST girl... and gets smashed in the head with a hammer for her troubles. The other schoolgirl drags her away as the blond moans in a surprisingly deep voice, taking her to a nearby lighthouse where we discover the schoolgirls are in fact.... JESSE AND JAMES!?! It's Team Rocket! James was crossdressing... and loving it!

Meowth tells Jesse and James that they've received a call from "THE BOSS" and hits a button, and a shadowy figure appears on the screen. Massively built, he alarms Meowth by petting a Persian (the evolved form of Meowth) and informing him that not only is Meowth not his favourite anymore, but he finds him pathetic! It was the Boss' plan to give out tickets for the St. Anne to every Pokémon trainer they could find, he plans to get them out to sea and then Team Rocket grunts (already onboard the ship) will attack, steal their Pokémon and escape.

Not knowing a watery grave awaits them, the kids are enjoying being onboard the St. Anne and taking in the sights. Ash hands over his ticket as they head up the gangway, and they enter a huge reception room where many other trainers with free tickets have gathered to compare their Pokémon and buy products from the people with merchandise stalls set up to gouge them. Two kids are comparing Charmanders, one boy eagerly showing the thick, hot thing between his Charmander's legs. Another boy shows up with his Squirtle to brag too, while Ash smugly declares to himself that his Charmander and Squirtle are far superior. A shout gets their attention and they turn to see a Pokémon battle going on between a distinguished gentleman and his Raticate against an angry young boy and his Starmie.

Ash squeezes to the front of the crowd in time to see the Raticate actually shatter the crystal of the Starmie with Hyper-Fang. The battle is called in favour of the distinguished man, who speaks with a thick Southern Accent and attracts the attention of a tall, attractive woman with a similar accent who gets all up on him, telling him his kind words to the defeated boy are gracious. He offers more encouragement to the boy and then asks for another challenger, and of course Ash charges straight in to beg for a battle with his Butterfree.

Meanwhile Jesse and James have shown up disguised as waiters (well they actually ARE waiters), delighted to see all the trainers and their Pokémon... which will soon be Team Rocket's! James imagines being splayed out over a gigantic pile of Pokémon roaring with laughter, but Jesse snaps him back to reality by reminding him the Pokémon aren't for them, but for the Boss.

The battle between Ash and Mr. Landed Gentry has begun. They seem to be pretty equal to begin with, and Butterfree actually manages to dodge Hyper Fang before using Stun Spore and seeming to have Raticate in its sights. Ash calls for a Whirlwind to finish things, but suddenly Mr. Gentry lifts his Raticate up, grins and says that'll be enough, it's a draw! He walks away, leaving behind Ash with a severe case of blue balls... he was totally about to win!

Meanwhile, James is wandering about the merchandise stalls, not realising he is about to have a date with destiny. A whispered voice catches his attention and he turns to see a ratty little man with an odd quasi-Latino accent at a stall calling him over. What does he want? He wants to show James the investment opportunity of a lifetime! Inside his tank is a giant red fish with an incredibly dopy expression, a Pokémon called a Magikarp. The salesman tells him that it is the king of all carps, and then drops to a whisper to inform him that the Magikarp is like a Pokémon goldmine. How so? Well each Magikarp lays 1000 eggs at a time... and each of those eggs will become a Magikarp that lays 1000 eggs. That's a million Magikarp! And each of those lay 1000 eggs, so that's a BILLION Magikarp! So if you sell each Magikarp for 100 dollars, then.... that's a lot of money!



The salesman explains that normally he charges $100 but for James he will make an exception... he'll throw in an egg-laying set, a childcare set and an education set, and all for only.... $300! James isn't going to let a bargain like that pass him by, of course, and eagerly accepts Mexican Magikarp Salesman's offer, clutching the wildly flailing Magikarp in his arms and laughing like a lunatic.

The St. Anne sets out onto the open sea, while the freeloading kids quickly set in to stuff their faces full of food from the tables. As they shovel food into their mouths, Mr. Landed Gentry and his tall, elegant female admirer arrive with a clear goal in mind. Brock finds himself staring in awe at the woman, face turning red and a sandwich falling out of his hands as Misty waves a hand in front of his face and tries to bring him back to earth. Mr. Gentry has been complimenting Ash on his Butterfree and asks what he thinks of his Raticate, and then decides to be direct and ask Ash if he'd be interested in a little partner-swapping?

Okay, that's illegal for EVERYBODY involved!

But he actually means Pokémon Trading, an apparently common practise in which two trainers swap Pokémon. Ash thinks it sounds good, as Mr. Landed Gentry and his admirer talk all about spreading friendship. Brock is moaning that he wants to start a friendship with her, and Ash turns to the closest thing to an adult authority figure in his life and asks if he should do it, and Brock (not listening at all) gasps pathetically that he should, everybody should!

So a short time later, a clearly reluctant Ash stands by a trading machine with Mr. Gentry and hands over his Pokéball. The machine lifts the Pokéballs, transfers the contents of each, and ends up passing the Pokéballs back now with different Pokémon inside. Ash is handed his brand new Raticate, while his old Butterfree is now the property of Mr. Gentry, leaving Ash feeling less than sure about what he has done.

Jesse and Meowth aren't sure about the Pokéball James is currently handling either. Screaming angrily at him for being conned, Meowth scratches the "gold" Pokéball to reveal it is a fake, while Jesse roars at him that Magikarp is a completely useless Pokémon that can't do anything but flop about in place. Realising he was tricked, a depressed James admits that he couldn't afford to buy the Magikarp with an advance on his own salary.... so he took hers as well! Furious, Jesse make her distaste known in the most constructive way possible - physical violence! She even knocks out a tooth!

Meanwhile Ash is staring at his new Pokéball and contemplating the trade he has made. Misty joins him and asks what the problem is, and he tells her he is concerned whether his Butterfree will be looked after in the right way by the other trainer? After all, he barely knows the guy and only made the trade because he seemed so excited by it, he didn't even think about how Butterfree would be. Misty understands his regrets, but points out that hey, he did get a Raticate out of the deal!

Team Rocket's Boss is enjoying the sight of all his victims on the cameras set up around the St. Anne. Petting his Persian, he grins that it won't be long now, and a YOWWWWWL from the Persian seems to mark the start of the attack. Doors slam shut, heavy curtains are hauled over the windows and waiting staff costumes are torn off (HEY HEY!) to reveal black Team Rocket uniforms underneath, as well as portable suction machines to literally suck the Pokéballs from the hapless collected trainers. As they begin to menace and herd the trainers, James staggers by still dizzy from the beating he took, calling out to the "hombre" that he wants his money back. Jesse grabs him and hauls him away, yelling at him they have work to do!

"To protect the world from devastation!" declares Jesse, joining James on a table wearing their white uniforms and suction machines of their own.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!" adds James, less than enthusiastically.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse!"
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Ooooh, surrender now or prepare to fight."
"Meowth dat's right!"

Jesse demands the trainers hand over their Pokéballs, which obviously nobody is particularly keen to do. The choice is taken out of their hands though, as the Rocket Grunts fire up their suction machines and start sucking in those balls like they're designed to do... what a misogynistic description!

The kids refuse to hand over their Pokéballs to some grunts who decide to get up close and personal, and Ash takes advantage of Pikachu being out to use Thunderbolt and fry the grunt who was menacing them. The other trainers take heart and join in, calling out the Pokémon that haven't been sucked in yet to begin a massive rumble. Mr. Gentry joins in, calling out his Squirtle, while Ash uses the power of stock footage to bring in the multi-Pikachu attack from Pokémon Emergency. Next he sends in his Charmander, joining a group of others to use Flamethrower, and the Rocket Grunts find themselves getting electrocuted and burned as they realise the ONE flaw in their Boss' plan - a whole bunch of Pokémon Trainers in close quarters have a whole bunch of Pokémon to fight with!

As a storm rolls in and the waves get choppy, Brock leads a number of Geodude in attack, followed by Vine Whips from multiple Bulbasaurs and Stun Spores from multiple Butterfree. Ash wants to join in and sends in his Butterfree... only to be faced with the ugly bucktoothed face of his Raticate! Misty reminds him that he traded it, and he remembers his adventures with Butterfree from a Caterpie through a Metapod to a terrible shrilling Butterfree. Realising that he has to get his Butterfree back, he calls out Pidgeotto to join others in using Gust, then a final group attack of Thunderbolts from the Pikachus that send all the Rocket Grunts blasting off into the stormy night sky. The trainers cheer in victory, while the last remaining members of Team Rocket - Jesse, James and Meowth - stagger through the corridors to make their mistake. The heaving waves rock the ship and cause James to drop his "golden" Pokéball, and he chases after it crying out that it is his salary advance. Jesse and Meowth follow after him, their own money tied up in it as well (does Meowth even use money?).

Misty and Brock are concerned by the storm and look about for Ash, finding him back by the trading machine where he is informing Mr. Gentry that he wants to trade his Butterfree back. Surprisingly Mr. Gentry takes it pretty well, better than the other passengers who are furious at the captain's poor handling of the cruise ship while in the midst of a massive terrorist attack. He assures them in an odd quasi-Irish accent that they're only a little off-course and besides the ship is unsinkable, so there is no need to worry! The ship rocks again and the passengers are momentarily diverted, and when they turn back they discover the captain... lowering himself overboard in a lifejacket, insisting he is just "testing" it!

What an awesome, awesome terrible Captain this guy is!

A panic ensures as everybody rushes for the lifeboats, stacking on as Misty and Brock try to convince Ash to get the hell out of there. He waits for the trade to go through though, happy to get his hands on his Butterfree Pokéball once again. But the ship rocks and he loses his grip on it, rushing after it much as James is currently charging after the Golden Pokéball. They both get their hands on their respective Pokéballs, but then a massive wave rocks the ship and sends both groups (in different parts of the ship) flying. On the open sea, the other passengers are in lifeboats watching as the ship overturns, horrified though technically the Captain was right, the ship hasn't sunk YET! The Captain gets up in his lifeboat and asks anybody who DIDN'T get off the ship to say aye, and when nobody speaks up, he declares to his satisfaction that this is great news.

This guy is the best worst Captain ever!

Because of course there ARE still people onboard the ship, which IS going to sink, be it ever so slowly. Ash, Misty and Brock are onboard, as are Jesse, James and Meowth, and all of their Pokémon (including Magikarp!). The St. Anne is now doing its best impersonation of the Poseidon, the kids and Team Rocket are KO'ed, and the narrator is getting a terrible sinking feeling. How will they escape? WILL they escape? Or will this Pokémon "fad" end after only 15 episodes on a surprisingly downbeat note? We'll find out... next time!

BEST QUOTES

"It'll be a radical party, all of the most radical Pokémon trainers will be there!" "Do you know anybody who says radical anymore?" "Like wow, don't I make like the COOOOOOOLEST girl?"

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