ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
011: Charmander - The Stray Pokémon	011: Hagure Pokémon, Hitokage	Pokémon's First Evil British Villain			Ash meets a Charmander abandoned by its trainer	Hole digging machines!	The British make the best bad guys

Today finds the kids pausing on the way to Vermillion City, somewhat lost as Brock checks the map and Ash uses his binoculars to spy out potential Pokémon to catch. Misty is exhausted, they've been heading for Vermillion for 10 days now and don't appear to be getting any closer. Ash is a little disgruntled too; there is nothing but Spearow in the grass around them. As she and Ash bitch and moan at each other, Brock notices a bug on Misty and informs her, and she immediately freaks out. Leaping athletically through the air, she lands and braces herself on Ash's shoulder, gasping in a panic. Brock lifts up the culprit, it turned out to be nothing but a piece of grass, and he happily tells her so. Furious for losing her dignity, she once again leaps through the air, but this time to deliver a flying boot right into Brock's goddamn face! Down he goes, as Misty screeches that she is going crazy. The map settles down into Ash's hands and he checks it out, apparently able to interpret it better than the glaucoma-stricken Brock. He says they're in the middle of nowhere, but Route 24 will take them to Vermillion City. A pleased Misty sets off ahead, but quickly comes to a stop when she finds the way blocked by a huge, bulking creature. Cast in shadows, all we can tell is that it is tall and powerfully built and mighty, a true fearsome warrior capable of unleashing powers unlike any we'll ever see again.... and then the light hits it right and reveals a tiny, cute little baby dragon-lizard yawning up on top of a great big rock!

Still, there was something about that initial appearance that speaks to me, a promise for the future, perhaps?

The kids collapse at the reveal of how tiny it is, Pikachu's reluctance to fight now made to look foolish. Dexter explains that Charmander has a flame burning on the tip of its tail from birth, and if the flame goes out... it dies! Ash tells Brock and Misty that he was disappointed not to get a Charmander at Professor Oak's but now he can catch a wild one. The others note that it doesn't look particularly healthy though, if he's going to catch it then they need to get it to the Pokémon Center. Ash throws a Pokéball but Charmander whips it back with its tail, right into Ash's hands. Ash says it looks pretty healthy to him, and Misty wants to try and capture it too since her Water Pokémon are strong against it. But Brock stops them, noting the flame on Charmander's tail is weak and guttering, it's too weak to fight. He suggests that Ash try the Pokéball again and he does, sucking Charmander inside the Pokéball... but then it leaps right back out and the Pokéball is sent crashing into Ash's face. He doesn't understand, and Pikachu clambers up the rock and communicates with the nervous, timidly snarling Charmander to try and find out what is up. Getting back down onto the ground, Pikachu attempts to communicate with the kids, only Ash able to roughly translate that Charmander is waiting on the rock for somebody to come and get it.

Rather than marvelling at Ash's ability to communicate with a fat yellow rat, the kids shrug and say it is best for them to leave it on the rock for its trainer to come back for it. They head away, leaving the sick little thing behind like the callous monsters that they are. Over the next hill they're delighted to see the Pokémon Center, and head down as the rain starts to fall and Pikachu's cheeks spark to mark the oncoming storm. That night as they wallow in freeloading luxury inside, Charmander is left to hunker in fear under a leaf, trying to protect its dying flame from the rain.

Inside the rustic, 70s snow lodge-esque Pokémon Center, Misty brings Ash and Brock hot soup. Brock isn't eating though, staring out the window at the storm and wondering aloud if Charmander is okay. Ash and Misty are sure that Charmander wouldn't have waited this long so they figure the trainer must have shown up by now. Just then loud laughter gets their attention and they turn to look at the group of kids settled into the depressed circular couch around the giant furnace. One of them in tight leather pants with a pink shirt, cowboy vest, blue hair and the WORST British accent is showing off his balls. Pokéballs, of course, and his followers notice that his Charmander is missing (are the Pokéballs marked?). They ask him (Damien) about it and he laughs that it was too weak for him so he dumped it on a rock in the forest. No matter how badly he treated it, however, it kept on following him, so finally he tricked it by promising he would come back for it but it had to wait. He laughs that it's probably still out there right now, waggling its stupid little tail, and another of the kids laughs that it'll probably waggle its tail so much that the flame goes out.

Wow. What a pack of utter shits.

The kids listen in, furious, and Brock gets to his feet and storms over, grabbing Damien by the collar and hauling him up, demanding he go and get Charmander. Damien is frightened at first, but quickly regains his arrogance and demands to know why he should. Brock snaps that if Charmander's tail flame goes out it will die, but Damien slaps his hands away and says what he does is none of his business. Ash demands he does what Brock says, and Misty and Ash join in the condemnation. Damien isn't backing down though, grabbing a Pokéball and asking if they want to fight about it. They do, but Nurse Joy breaks it up with a clap of her hands, reminding them of the "rules" that state that Pokémon are never to be used to settle personal conflicts. Damien growls that the kids started it and storms off, one of his lackeys carrying his balls for him. You heard me.

Joy tells the kids that they shouldn't mix with Damien and his buddies, they have a bad reputation. Brock manages to moan a response and she walks away with a giggle, leaving Brock to gasp that she sure is purty. Ash and Misty are confused, she looks like any other Nurse Joy to them, but Brock can't stop staring after her and blushing. Misty snaps him out of it angrily, telling him that they need to think about Charmander. They put on raincoats and rush out into the rain, Misty telling them that it is dangerous to be out in a storm like this, they could catch pneumonia. Ash grumps back that nobody asked her to come, but she winks at him and tells him that you've got to help a Pokémon in need.

How is Charmander doing? Not so well, as it is attacked by some of those Spearow assholes who apparently love nothing more than beating the shit out of weak losers who shouldn't be out and about without parents. It cringes in fear, but then a thrown rock distracts them and they discover the kids have arrived. The Spearow sense that Ash is somebody who is without parental guidance (I guess they don't know about Momma Brock) and try to attack him too, but Pikachu blasts them away with Thunderbolt.... and unfortunately manages to zap the hell out of Ash, Brock and Misty as well. They recover and rush to Charmander, spotting that the flame on its tail is almost out. Ash takes off his raincoat to cover up Charmander, and then they rush through the rain to get back to the Pokémon Center.

Inside, the lights are almost all off and only Nurse Joy is left peering nervously out at the storm. The kids rush in with Charmander and she immediately gets it into a nice warm room, putting its tail on its own little bed (dawww) and checking its heartbeat and respiration. They ask if it will be right and she demands to know how they could let it get into such a terrible state, but Ash informs her that it belongs to Damien and he dumped it, leaving it to wait for him to return. Joy is horrified, telling them that Damien already left with the others (they left during a storm?), but she promises to do her best for Charmander. As she works, the kids are left to wait in the corridor, each of them passing the time the best they can - Ash in particular being the most kid-like in the way he lies on his back flexing his legs out of boredom. Brock sends his best wishes mentally to Charmander as they wait, and finally the light above the treatment room goes off and Joy emerges. She looks exhausted, but looks up at the twerps and smiles, giving them the peace sign. They look in at Charmander which is inside an incubator resting, and she tells them that with a little rest it will be okay by morning.



After spending the night sleeping on the couches instead of in beds, Ash and Misty are woken up by a frantic Brock. Charmander has disappeared! They rush to the treatment room and find Nurse Joy by an open window, apparently it was able to get it open and "escape". They figure it must have gone back to the rock to wait for Damien, even though he's an asshole with a fake British accent. They head out of the Pokémon Center and get back on their own way, a depressed Brock saying that he thought Charmander knew how much they cared. Oddly enough it's Ash who "gets it" in this situation, saying that of course it knew, but it remains loyal to its trainer and didn't want to leave him. Misty slaps Brock on the shoulder companionably (and he flinches), telling him they gotta get going for Route 24, there'll be plenty of Pokémon to catch then. Of course, there'll also be.... Team Rocket!

"To protect the world from devastation!" cries Jesse after she and James finish admiring the bizarre new machine they've put together.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above!" they say together, dancing in place.
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Mmmmmmm-mind if I cut in?" asks Meowth, cutting off their motto. They have a "fool-proof" plan to capture Pikachu, and it involves the bizarre machine they've built. It's a automatic, high-speed, super-duper... watchamacallit! They hit the start-up button on the remote together, and it begins to operate, opening up hatches and other parts of itself. Meowth watches and finally asks the question we've all been wondering. Exactly what the fuck does this thing do?

It digs holes.

Yes their brilliant plan is to build a robot to dig holes for them, and as a sweating Meowth points out - they already tried the "dig a hole" plan and they ended up falling into it. But the others insist that if first you don't succeed to try again, and this time they'll remember where the hole is. As soon as it is dug, they camouflage it as well as they can, Meowth begging them to please remember where the hole is. They laugh that they're smarter than that and Meowth collapses in disbelief, then spots the kids coming and warns Jesse and James. They hide behind the tree, Jesse belatedly remembering to use the remote to call the Watchamacallit to hide behind the trees as well. They watch in anticipation as the kids approach, Pikachu in the lead and walking right onto the hole.... and continuing on over it! They're horrified, Jesse and James blaming each other for making the cover too good. Meowth slashes their faces and harshly whispers at them to keep quiet, and they watch as Pikachu passes over safely and then the kids get on.... and the trap works! The cover breaks, the kids fall and only Pikachu is left up on the ground.

Pikachu stares down at them in alarm, then turns around and discovers Team Rocket.... in full-body insulating cover-alls! Despite their bulk they made sure to make them as form fitting as possible on Meowth's tail and Jesse's breasts, and they laugh at Pikachu's attempts to blast them, since they designed these suits particularly to protect themselves. Jesse starts waffling on about the colour not particularly suiting her, till Meowth roars to get to capturing! Pikachu cheeses it and James pulls out a bazooka that fires... a balloon! Like something out of Prisoner, the balloon pursues Pikachu, falls on top of it and squeezes tight and then... Pikachu is INSIDE the balloon! It tries to zap its way out but the balloon is shock-proof, and Team Rocket remove their helmets to laugh and mock the fat little rat.

At the bottom of the hole, Ash hears Pikachu and tries to scramble up the sides of the hole, but continually falls back down. He yells at Misty and Brock to get up, and Misty grunts that she'd love to but... he's standing on them! Team Rocket laugh at their predicament, holding Pikachu in the small little balloon now and mocking Ash, saying they won't lose Pikachu like he did. They turn to leave... and find themselves face to face with Charmander! It squeaks defiantly at them to let Pikachu go but they're not particularly threatened by the cute little orange lizard-baby... till it reminds them that pissing off something that can breathe fire is NOT a good idea.



They stand and gape, then drop the balloon and cheese it the hell out of there. James moans that he told them they needed fire-proofing, but the others only concern is getting the hell away from the thing that just set fire to them! As they run, Damien emerges from the bushes (was he taking a shit?) and watches them run, surprised that Charmander was able to terrify two humans and a Pokémon.

By the hole, Brock is the last to be helped out, and they all thank Charmander for saving them. They ask Charmander to come with them, but at that moment Damien arrives at the scene to tell Charmander that he has returned for it. It turns to gape at him, and the kids warn it that Damien already dumped it once and shouldn't be trusted. Damien scoffs at them, and says that dumping Charmander obviously toughened it up, and besides what is wrong with dumping a weak little Pokémon that can't win fights? The kids are outraged, this is complete asshole talk, but he replies that the only thing a Pokémon is good for it winning fights.

Charmander's eyes are obviously opening to the kind of person Damien is, but like it or not he IS its trainer. He's had enough of all this "talking" nonsense and pulls out Charmander's Pokéball, tossing it at Charmander.... which sends it flying back and crashing directly into his nose! The kids are astonished, Damien is horrified, even Charmander can't really believe it. Furious, Damien grabs out ALL of his Pokéballs to throw down 35-1 against Charmander, but it blasts him with flamethrower, joined by Pikachu's Thunderbolt. Gasping out a weak,"Mummy!" he turns and runs, leaving Charmander behind, quite clearly no longer HIS Pokémon.

But whose is it now? Brock surprises Ash by telling him that he should capture it. Ash can't understand, Brock obviously had a close connection to Charmander, but he reminds Ash of the hard work Ash underwent to keep Charmander's flame from going out. He thinks it is best for Charmander, so Ash asks Charmander what it thinks and tosses out a Pokéball, and Charmander leaps eagerly into it. The Pokéball falls back into Ash's hands, and just like that he's got a Charmander to go with his Bulbasaur.

Now he only needs a Squirtle to complete the set! Gotcha catch'em all!

BEST QUOTES

"I can't wait to test our new automatic, high-speed, super-duper, watchamacallit!"

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