ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
008: The Path to the Pokémon League	008: Pokemon Rigu e no Michi	Whips, Bondage, and Southern Boys			Ash meets and fights an unsanctioned "Gym leader"nbsp;	James is no gentleman	Everybody makes fun of Ash. Everybody.

With two of the eight required Gym Badges in his possession, Ash is eager to get to where he's going next. There's just one problem, he's got no freaking clue where it is he's supposed to be going.

"How many times do I have to tell you," sighs Misty, then goes over all girlie and excited, "Vermillion City, it's got a Luxury Cruise Ship and I'm dying to see it!
"We won't have time for sight-seeing," grumps Ash, missing yet another opportunity for romantic..... ehh..... well..... opportunity. Websters Concise I'm not.

"I've heard there's a really great Gym in Vermillion," notes Brock. "A GYM!" gasps Ash, going over all girlie and excited himself,"All right! I'm going to win my third badge!"
He stands hunched over, clenching his fists eagerly and waiting for an unimpressed Misty and Brock to get excited as well, and when that fails to occur, he twists about and happily cries out, "Let's go!"
"Don't get your hopes up!" admonishes Misty, keeping her man down like any good woman should, "There are alot of tough trainers around here."
"Bring 'em on!" laughs Ash, looking back over his shoulder, "I bet none of them has even one Pokémon Badge!"

And indeed, the first ten trainers he meets don't, as Ash proceeds to give them all a whupping. We only get to see the last of the trainers, however, a little boy with green shorts, suspenders and red boots whose tiny little Ratata gets knocked over by a Tackle Attack from Pidgeotto to finish the battle. Ash is obviously ecstatic to have defeated a small country boy, and spins about happily with a giant 'V10' sign appearing behind him to let us know that Ash has beaten 10 hicks in a row now. The little boy is suitably impressed by the ass-whupping he just took and tells Ash he's great, which of course is highly appreciated by the arrogant little boy, who 'accidentally' shows off his badges by opening his jacket up - completely by coincidence of course.

As the Hick goes ballistic over such a momentous thing as Gym Badges, Misty sighs to Brock that perhaps giving him the badges was a mistake. Brock nods agreement while Pikachu settles it's pudgy bottom onto Ash's backpack and lets out a cutely exasperated little,"Pika-pika!"
The hickboy ponders aloud that he thinks Ash could even beat A,J, which immediately piques Ash's interest. Who is A.J?
"Yeah, he lives over there, A.J trains Savage Pokémon, he built his own gym, he's never lost a single match!" explains The Littlest Hick-Bo.
"Until now," grins Ash with a waggle of his finger, "He's never come up against someone like me!"

Well that at least is true, Ash is pretty much unique.

"He's getting a big head," sighs Misty, eyes half-lidded with a mixture of pity, disgust and contempt.
"Yeah," agrees Brock, "But his brain has remained the same size." "Pika-Pika," notes Pikachu with a smile, but this is no time for profanity, so we won't go into that further.

The kids head down to the Gym, and discover a huge sign set up outside, a technological marvel which shows his wins against his losses.... and the boy ain't lost yet, in fact he's 98 for 0! Below this impressive Win/Loss record is a disclaimer noting that A.J's Gym is not sanctioned by The Pokémon League.

But how can this be? You can't have a Gym without a sanction from the Pokémon League can you? Well this is Hick-Country remember, where Moonshine is king, brothers and sisters are waaaaaaay too close and copyright infringement is a way of life. Beneath the sign is a massive wooden fence blocking the view of all but the roof of the Gym. The kids stare up the fence at the sign and Ash scoffs at the un-sanctioned status of the Gym, unconcerned over A.J's undefeated status, because he's going to defeat him! Misty isn't so sure though, and teases Ash with a grin, noting that Ash may have won ten, but A.J has won nearly ten times more than that.

"Well I go for quality not quantity!" snaps Ash angrily, pulling out a variation of that old reliable male standby, 'It's not the size, it's what you do with it.'
"Are you mah next victahm?" asks a hideously Southern accent, and turning the kids find themselves facing a thick set of legs which they follow up with their eyes, finding themselves facing a stocky, green fringed, black haired smirking kid who looks to be about between Misty and Brock's ages.
"Hmm, you must be the Wild Pokémon Trainer," growls Ash.
"Heh! That's mah job," smirks A.J, "But beating chumps like you is mah job.... ready tah lose?"
The fence gates open and A.J leads the twerps inside (isn't it funny how A.J, who lives in Hick-Country and talks like a Southern Nightmare, looks the most Japanese of any of the Pokémon characters so far) his Gym. In the centre is a large tent - the roof of which could be seen over the fence earlier - and before that is an elevated arena made from hard packed dirt and marked off in white. On each of the arena's four sides are stairs leading up to the arena floor, where it's to be assumed A.J and Ash will do battle.

"Now this is not too shabby at all," smiles Misty, teasing Ash with his inadequacies once again. A Butterfree flies down from the tent as A.J sets down his backpack, making an annoying "Reeee! Reeee!" noise as it does so. It lifts his backpack up and flies away towards the tent.
"What in the backpack?" asks Ash rudely.
"The wild Pokemohn that ah just caught," replies A.J, "There's a bunch more in the tent... and then some."
"Hey! Can I see them after the match!?!" asks Ash excitedly.
"If ya want," sniffs A.J, climbing up the steps to the arena, "So, which Pokemohn are you gonna choose for mah 99th win?"
"99th?" asks Ash, who until now didn't know that 99 came after 98, then growls, "Hmmmm."
He walks up to the Arena himself, facing A.J on the other side, and smirks confidently, "I'm afraid you're going to have to change your sign after this match, you'll be formerly undefeated."
A.J just smirks and stretches his whip (!!!!) before replying, "You may think that you're hot stuff, kid, but you're not playing in the Pokémon Little League anymore."

With that he cracks his whip right in front of Ash's feet, startling the small boy before he continues, "After ah win 100 matches in a row, I'll start competing for badges."
"That means he's only two wins away," whispers Brock to Misty, proving that Pokémon is esdumacational.
"And he'll be extra psyched to win," agrees Misty, proving that Pokémon is down with the kids and their crazy slang.
"98 wins and you STILL don't have a badge," grins Ash, proving that he's a moron, opening his jacket collar, "I have 10 wins and I've won two Pokémon badges."

Ash turns into profile and with some bizarre music and a strange purple psychedelic background, we watch his nose grow long in what is either an indication of his exaggeration or some bizarre kind of acid trip.
"Did yah buy those badges or did ya steal 'em?" smirks A.J, thoroughly unimpressed by Ash's accomplishments, "Either that or you competed in some loser gyms.... where were they Failure City or Wimpsville?" "Hmmm!" growls Misty.
"Hmmmm," growls Brock, then both of them tower high over Ash, burning with flames of rage, Misty holding her thumb down in a gesture of doom.
"What do you mean, loser gyms!?!" growls Misty.
"Hey Ash," snaps Brock, "Pulverise this guy!"
"Hehe--heh-hehe-heh," Ash exclaims succinctly.

A.J kicks things off by calling out a Sandshrew, a small mole like Pokémon which has a body made up of what looks like water-starved, sunbaked sand.
"A Sandshrew huh," smiles Ash, who has no freaking clue what a Sandshrew is, "This should be interesting."
"Let's be careful now Ash," admonishes Momma Brock.
"Remember," calls Misty, knowing Ash is completely out of his depth, "Sandshrew is a Ground-Type so Pikachu's electricity's no good against it."
"I know exactly what I'm doing," lies Ash, who was just about to call on Pikachu, "I don't need your help!"

He sends out Pidgeotto which soars high, while A.J cracks his whip and orders Sandshrew to charge in for the attack. Ash calls for Pidgeotto to dive while Brock comments that Ash has caught a lucky break this time, as a Flying Type should have the advantage against a Ground Type. But a crack of the whip proves that a lie, as Sandshrew leaps high and rolls into a ball. Despite Ash's confident assertion that a Sandshrew can't fly, it does a very good impersonation by soaring through the air, crashing into Pidgeotto and knocking it down hard to the ground.

"Sandshrew!" cries A.J, cracking his whip, "Finish it!"
"Oh no, Pidgeotto, return!" cries Ash, calling his Pokémon back before Sandshrew can add insult to injury.
Despite this crushing defeat, however, Ash isn't ready to give up and calls out Butterfree to save the day.
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" squeals Butterfree for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.
"You can do it!" calls out a panicky Ash,"Flying versus Ground should be no problem!"
"That's what you think kid," smirks A.J, "Now watch and wait!"

Ash calls for Butterfree to use it's Stun Spore, but a quick flick of A.J's whip sees Sandshrew dig a hole and slide under the ground, and out of the Stun-Spore's reach.
"Re-reeeee?" asks Butterfree, sending shivers of revulsion through the spines of good people everywhere.
"That Sandshrew is well trained," Brock notes to Misty.
"He controls it with a crack of his whip, like a lion trainer," adds Misty.

Question Misty, what is a lion? I didn't know they had them in the Pokémon World.

And with another crack of that whip, A.J signals for Sandshrew to launch out of the ground from behind Butterfree, crashing into the floating Bug and crashing it to the ground. Sandshrew then pins Butterfree in what looks to be a very compromising position, and the way Butterfree bucks beneath it and making moaning,'reeee' noises really doesn't help matters.

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

"Butterfree!" gasps Ash.
"Heheh, it's not so free anymore," quips A.J, a pun that - in hick terms at least - is the funniest thing anyone ever said anytime or anywhere. As Sandshrew and Butterfree take part in the Pokémon Rendition of Deliverance, Ash grabs Pikachu by the tail and pulls angrily at his fat little buddy, trying desperately to get it to join in the battle, Pikachu wants no part of it though, it's watched Sandshrew layeth the smacketh down on two Pokémon that are supposed to be naturally stronger than it and it doesn't want it's own pudgy little body to take a whupping for no good reason either.

"Come on, Pikachu, you've got to help your friends!" screams the abusive little boy as he tries desperately to throw his best friend into an ass-whupping.
"Piiiika---CHUUUUUUU!" growls Pikachu and lets loose with an electric attack which blasts Ash's body and sends him crashing to the ground.
"Nice work," sighs Misty as Ash lies crippled and twitching on the ground, causing him to imagine his lie-grown nose cut in half and dangling from a thread.

Suggested gay rape, Pokémon abuse, whips and cut up noses.... why the hell do some parents have a thing against Pokémon?

Watching this pathetic scene from a nearby hillside looking over A.J's Gym are three very familiar (and welcome) figures indeed.
"That Sandshrew is very tempting," says Jesse, watching through binoculars.
"We should grab it," agrees James.
"Hmmm, looks fat," mutters Meowth, doing an extreme close-up on the Sandshrew, "You two gotta carry it."
"The outfit that trainer is wearing is positively hideous," Jesse continues, ignoring Meowth.
"That shirt looks like it's from a century or two ago," adds James cattily, "He'd fit right in perfectly at a museum."
"Yeah.... at least he doesn't look like he's trick or treating like you do," quips Meowth.
James looks over at him in camp horror and rage, because something you never, ever, ever do is question James' fashion sense. He's an Rr-teest dammit! With a quick smack of his hand he sends Meowth 'meeeeeee-owthing' down the hillside, through the branches and crashing into the ground, his binoculars falling into his mouth.

Back at the Gym, the sign has changed to 99 wins and 0 losses, and A.J, Sandshrew and the spotlights that just appeared about them are very pleased over the fact.
"It's not fair!" sobs Ash, who as the only child of a single mother kind of got preferential treatment his entire life, "I'm the one with the badges!" He clutches desperately at a shocked A.J's arm, begging him,"How about two out of three?"
"Stop whining, kid," growls A.J angrily, "Nobody wants to compete against a crybaby."

He shoves Ash away, and with the easy mood swings of your average 10 year old kid/emerging sociopath, Ash stops crying and gets angry. "Heeey, there's something fishy here," growls Ash,"I didn't have any problems winning until I battled in your ring! How do I know this whole match wasn't rigged? That's it! You cheated! How else could Sandshrew defeat Butterfree? Flying Pokémon always have the advantage over Ground Pokémon!"
"Chill out," whispers A.J, backing off from the aggressive little whiner.
"What do you say we go replay the match someplace else?" asks Ash desperately, having gone through denial, rage and negotiation so far following his first major ass-whupping.
"Ash just doesn't know when to quit, does he?" sighs Misty. "That A.J sure is strong," responds Brock cooly,"I don't get it, how is he get so good?'

Ahem, did anyone but us actually read the 98 Wins in a row on the sign before they entered the Gym?

"One more chance," sobs Ash pathetically, approaching acceptance now as A.J turns and walks away with Sandshrew in tow.
"Come back when you grow up," sniffs A.J dismissively, leaving a distraught Ash behind.
"Hmm, it's not fair," sighs Ash as A.J moves into the tent where Butterfree took his newly captured Pokémon earlier.
"Looks like you'll have to rethink the way you train," smiles Brock as he and Misty gather around Ash, seemingly enjoying his pain from the looks on their faces.
"What do you mea...." starts Ash, before A.J's voice travels over to them from inside the tent.
"YOU CALL THAT LAST MATCH A FIGHT?"
"Huh?" the kids ask together, and turn to look at the tent as they hear A.J's whip crack.
"It's time for some serious training," the angry redneck slurs, and the kids sneak up to see just what the hell is going on. Looking through the tentflap, Ash and Pikachu find themselves looking at a Beedrill taking lethal lunges at a dodging Butterfree while Ratata jump through rings of fire and balance on balls. A.J stands watching as Sandshrew makes it's way to the top of a ladder and then.... leaps into a pool of water!

And they're all wearing a weird kind of harness which looks disturbingly like bondage/s&m gear!

Sandshrew instantly leaps back out of the water (which is painful and damaging to a Ground-Type like Sandshrew) and shakes it's body about, but A.J cracks his whip angrily again and demands Sandshrew get back into the water.
"CUT IT OUT!" screams Ash, launching himself into A.J and knocking both of them into the water. Brock and Misty rush up to the pools edge as Ash and A.J surface, glaring angrily at each other.
"Now whaddya want? A swimming match?" growls A.J.
"You're hurting Sandshrew," snaps back Ash.
"Mind yer own business," the redneck spits angrily, "Ah don't need any amateurs teaching ME how to train Pohkemon."
"You call that training..." starts Ash, then gets distracted by something shiny and loses his train of thought. Turning he stares at Sandshrew's S&M Harness, which Pikachu is curiously sniffing, "What's that? It looks like a straitjacket."

Poor, poor innocent Ash.

"That's no straitjacket," sneers A.J, pulling himself out of the pool, "It's a strength-intensifier."
"Who invented that thing?" asks Brock.
"Ah did," grins A.J proudly, "It's mah own secret invention for unlocking a Pohkemon's powers.... SANDSHREW BACK IN THE POOL!"
Sandshrew jumps to and heads for the ladder again, as Ash remains standing shoulder deep in the water, crying out, "But Sandshrew's are weakened by water!"
"Ah know that," replies A.J cooly.
"You'll hurt it!"
"Sandshrew!" directs A.J, wisely ignoring Ash,"DIVE!"
Sandshrew dives in, leaving a shocked Brock staring slackjawed into the water while Misty appreciatively notes the quality of the dive. Sandshrew bursts back out and shakes itself free of the water before looking expectantly up at A.J.
"Good work," he tells it.
"The water doesn't weaken your Sandshrew?" asks Brock.
"You're looking at the only Sandshrew in the world that's strong enough to withstand water," grins A.J, "Sandshrew! Pick up your pacing!"
Sandshrew curls up into a ball and allows three Raticate to bounce it about.
"WAIT A SECOND!" gasps Ash, having got out of the water finally, "I thought you said pacing, not passing!"
"AHHHH!" ahhhh Brock and Misty, almost falling over as A.J fixes Ash with a queer look.
"PIKACHU!" giggles Pikachu happily, holding up a padded cushion.
"Huh? I said padding?" asks Ash, "I mean I SAID PASSING!"
"Chaaaaa!" chaaaaa's Pikachu sadly, dropping the cushion over it's head and trudging away. Dawwww.

"Why are you so tough on Sandshrew?" demands Ash after sending his Pikachu waddling away sadly.
"Ah have to be tough, but ah ask no more of Sandshrew then ah do of mahself," A.J tells him, understandably aggressive at having to explain his winning techniques to a loser like Ash,"The very best!"
"But you aren't nearly as tough on any of your other Pokémon!" Ash complains, based on his 2 minutes of experience with A.J and his Pokémon.
"That's because Sandshrew was the first Pokémon Ah ever caught," explains A.J,"Ah will never forget that moment...."

Cue Flashback please, at 4, 3, 2............ Lightning strikes, cutting up a blackened sky as a storm rages all about. Beneath the vengeful sky stands A.J, throws his fist high in defiance of nature and the circumstances of his birth. As the newly captured Sandshrew sits on it's ass looking up at him in confusion, A.J promises to himself that he will never, eve let anything stop him, and that he and Sandshrew will defeat all comers in their quest to be the best. The sacrifices they make are many, both standing in pounding rain, A.J defying the wind as Sandshrew is blown in a ball past him, A.J crying like a fat kid eating chocolate as he whips the ground and Sandshrew stands in it's S&M Harness throwing punches.

"What you're doing is wrong!" yells Ash,"A great Trainer should make friends with his Pokémon!"
"Why should Ah listen to you!?!" snaps A.J, because like him or lump him, he gets results you stupid Chief!
"Hey Brock, don't you have anything to say about this?" whines Ash, running to Momma as always when things get tough.
"I do," Brock whispers coldly, "Your Pokémon are all in great shape, what kind of Pokémon food do you give them?"
"Ahhh!" ahhhs Ash, nearly falling over and getting sick (maybe he swallowed some chlorine in the pool.... or worse, Sandshrew-Pee).
"Mah own recipe!" grins A.J happily, "Come on, Ah'll show ya!"

Inside a fridge, A.J shows Brock jars and jars of food, each labelled with a different Pokémon on it. A.J apparently carefully monitors each Pokémon's diet and feeds them food that he himself has devised, although all the recipes are a secret of course. Brock understands that perfectly, shyly adding in that he himself makes his own recipes and that.....

As they natter on about Momma stuff, Ash sadly watches as Sandshrew pumps two dumb-bells with ease while his own fat little Pikachu struggles to pick up one tiny training dumb-bell and ends up collapsing beneath it, which is pretty damn cute but not exactly a glowing advertisement for Ash's training regime.

Outside the tent, as Pikachu struggles not to choke to death under a plastic toy dumb-bell, Team Rocket prepare to make their move.
"Insulated gloves?" asks Jesse.
"Check," nods James, holding up a pair of pink rubber gloves he just happened to have on him for some reason.
"Big rubber ball?" Jesse continues.
"Check, check, check-arooni!" grins Meowth, happily rolling a big rubber ball into view. The screen goes black until a spotlight shines on Jesse, who grins and waggles her finger with a come hither gesture.
"Team Rocket will do what it has to do," says Jesse. "To snatch that little Pikachu," adds James, popping up under a spotlight of his own, back turned to the camera and showing that he works out when he has to.
"Maybe we should go back to our old motto?" James complains as the spotlights disappear and the tent comes back into shot, "This one doesn't feel right."
"Hey! How about a theme Meowth song!?!" asks Meowth happily, jumping up onto the ball, "And I can even do a little dance solo! Everyone loves Me-usic!"
"That song won't do," mutters Jesse as Meowth happily dances the ball back and forth.
"That dance won't work," agrees James, a master of Dance if ever there was one.
"Here's a line you'll like," Jesse finally says as Meowth rolls the ball back past them, still singing and dancing.
"What's that?" asks James.
"Choreography killed the cat."

Wah-wah-waaaaaaaaah!

Back inside the tent, A.J's automatic bell has rung, signalling a 15 minute break for all of his Pokémon. They lie about panting and breathing hard, all looking exhausted as A.J heads off to do whatever rednecks do when they don't have anything else to do.... like pushing over a cow or something. But Ash won't give A.J even that little pleasure, growling about the state of his Pokémon and how exhausted they all look.
"You better believe it," yells A.J fiercely,"In this Gym we live by the rule No Pain, No Gain, but judging by your little stuffed Pikachu over there, you don't follow any rules."
"It's not stuffed take it back!" screams Ash,"Hey did you hear me!?! I said take it back."

Ash then proceeds to actually take a swing at A.J! This is bizarre, and the redneck easily dodges, which unfortunately sends Ash careening over, knocking them both into the pool again. This time instead of cooling them off, however, they throw down. Clutching at each other's throats like brawlers in a 1950's Western, they scream insults at each other while Misty says something ridiculous about no splashing in the pools. As this goes on, Pikachu tentatively touches Sandshrew's discarded Strength-Intensifier, which locks up around the cute lil' rodent and squeezes it's all ready round little body into a ball. Sandshrew giggles and rolls up into a ball as well, and speaking of balls (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), here comes a big red one! It's Team Rocket of course, wrapped up in a big red ball so as not to arouse suspicion (because big moving red balls are commonplace in the Pokémon World, apparently). Meowth is feeling sick and no one can see anything, so when they stop in front of a trussed up Pikachu and a rolled up Sandshrew, they can't tell the difference. They grab up Sandshrew in a sack thinking it's Pikachu, then rip their legs through the ball and sidle out as fast as they can.

We hope you enjoyed that Rocketshippers, it's the first, last and only time you'll ever see Jesse and James getting all hot, sweaty and close-up together.

"Why do you keep hanging around here?" demands A.J back inside the tent, he and Ash out of the pool and glaring at each other as they try to catch their breath, "There must be other trainers you can bother?"
"Yeah right!" pants Ash, which makes absolutely no sense at all. Ding ding! A.J's bell has gone off again, ending the 15 minute break.
"Times up, back to work all of ya!" yells A.J, then looks about in confusion,".... hey, where's Sandshrew?"
They walk about looking for Sandshrew and instead come across Pikachu, all wrapped up in an S&M Harness.
"That's weird, what's your Pikachu doing?" asks A.J.
"Pikachu!" cries Ash, lifting his Pokémon up and straining with all his puny muscles to break the harness... but he fails completely and thus decides that it's impossible, lowering his head and clutching his hands to Pikachu's defenceless buttocks, saying, "It's no use."
"Here, let me," says A.J after Ash's pathetic attempt, he takes Pikachu and pushes a button, which of course unstraps the harness immediately.
"Pikachu! You're okay!" laughs Ash, hugging Pikachu while A.J asks if it's seen Sandshrew. Pikachu, who practically had it's head up it's own arse, saw nothing, but a smug Ash thinks he knows what happened, obviously Sandshrew ran away.
"What are you talking about?" growls A.J.
"The way you treat your Pokémon I'm surprised they all haven't run away."
"Sandshrew and Ah have been together for a long time."
"Yeah I know," grins Ash, "But when Sandshrew saw how well Pikachu and I get along, it thought 'I deserve better, I'll find a trainer that treats me like Ash treats Pikachu!'"
A.J thinks on this for a second, just a second, then screams in Ash and Pikachu's face, "SANDSHREW WOULD NOT BREAK THE PROMISE WE MADE! NOT AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH! NOT JUST BEFORE OUR 100TH VICTORY!"v "Now move it, go find Sandshrew," A.J growls at his assembled Pokémon as Ash tries to clear out his ears - watch out Ash! Don't spear your brain while you're at it!

Out in the forest, an exhausted Team Rocket are struggling to catch their breath.
"Those clowns will never catch up with us," pants Jesse.
"I'm exhausted," grunts James, clutching the sack holding Sandshrew over his shoulder, "You take the bag now."
Jesse then makes the fatal mistake of trying to use her formidable charms on the one person in the world who is actually immune.
"But a real gentleman," she says coyly, giving him puppy dog eyes, a sly smile and draping a weak arm across her chest, "Always carries the bag."
"Is that so?" grunts James, unimpressed by her girlie-bits, "Well as you know I'm no gentleman!"

He thrusts the sack at her, she tries one last time, Meowth watches it all with a smile and then Sandshrew erupts up out of the sack and sends them all flying. Sandshrew comes back down and crashes hard into Meowth's forehead, unadvertantly knocking it's tail into Meowth's mouth which instinctively closes down in a tight grip (just like James would!). In pain and shock, Sandshrew goes back to basics and digs deep into the ground to get away, kicking up a large amount of dust in the process.

Back at the tent, Ash is still trying to discredit A.J, gathering the other Trainer's Pokémon and trying to act the good gut helping them get out of an abusive relationship.
"You've all had enough of A.J and the way he pushes you around, haven't you?" asks Ash with a smile, "Well you don't have to put up with it anymore, because now you can come with me! Anyone whose coming with me, raise your hand!"
As Ash stands there with arm raised, A.J's Pokémon wander about with purpose, paying no attention to him, while A.J stands with back turned and Brock, Misty and Pikachu stare in surprise at Ash's stupidity.

As if they didn't know!

"Just... raise your hands! Ge-get 'em up there!" Ash tries again while an exasperated Misty notes to Brock.
"Ash is making a fool of himself again!"
"Mmmmm," mmmmm's Brock, who's picked up the formula for himself pretty quickly.
"You see what happens when you try to start a mutiny in mah Gym!" yells A.J, "Mah Pohkemon are all loyal!"
"So then where's Sandshrew?" asks Ash with a smug smirk, and gets popped right in the chin!

YEAH! Go Southern Rednecks! Should have known one of the brave confederacy and it's noble slave-owning ways would be the one to knock Ash on his ass! Hang on a second.... that wasn't a well timed right from A.J, it was a head-butt from Sandshrew, coming up through the ground and bouncing into A.J's arms as Meowth is thrown clear with a cry of Meowth! Still, it was nice to see Ash take one on the chin!

Ash and Meowth lie dazed on the floor, while Sandshrew and A.J hug and the other Pokémon gather around, much to Misty's delight and Brock's approval.
"H.. how could they possibly pick him over me?" gasps Ash, who still believes what his Mummy told him about how she thinks he's cool. "A.J is tough," explains Momma Brock, "But as you can see.... he cares deeply for his Pokémon."
"Wow, A.J DOES care about them," mumbles Ash as he watches A.J get licked by Sandshrew.

So no, there was no crime of abuse going on, but there IS a crime going on. Because off to the side, Pikachu is trying to tug Meowth's charm from his forehead. When this petty theft fails, Pikachu complains to Ash and the others, who notice Meowth for the first time and realise that Team Rocket must have been the ones behind Sandshrew's disappearance. Ash grabs Meowth by his tail and lifts him up, angrily telling the dazed Scratch-Cat to wake up, which it does with a quick swipe that slices open Ash's face.

"Ahhhhhh!" he screams, tumbling backwards and clutching his bleeding face.
"Hey? Where am I? What's going on here?" asks Meowth, and then realises he's surrounded on all sides by angry trainers and Pokémon,"Ahhh, how am I going to get out of dis mess?"

"Prepare for trouble," a voice suddenly fills the tent. "Make it double!" adds another. Meowth turns about and smiles with relief at the open tent-flap behind him (that he actually could have escaped from), which is currently filled with Jesse and James. "Team Rocket!" growls Ash. "Use da old motto!" grins Meowth. "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jesse." "James." "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light." "Surrender now or prepare to fight." "Meowth, dat's right!" cries Meowth, flipping between Jesse and James who are flanked on either side by Ekans and, best of all, a hugely happy Koffing with crossed eyed of joy!

"That feels great, we don't need a theme song!" sobs Jesse, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"It's a classic!" agrees a tearful James.
"So there are the creeps who kidnapped mah Sandshrew?" growls A.J angrily.

Jesse explains it was all an accident and James elaborates, telling A.J that they have no interest in his second-rate Sandshrew. "Second-rate!?!" growls A.J in disbelief.
"The only Pokémon we want is Pikachu," Jesse tells him, mistakenly thinking she's removing a potential rival.
"You can keep all those other wimps," nods James, trying to help out as well.
"Wimps are they!" growls A.J.
"That's it!" yells Ash, who has had enough of Team Rocket having the gall to question A.J and his training techniques. Damn bad guys, when will they learn that you can't question another trainer's techniques, especially when they're successful, will they ever learn!?!

Sarcasm Detector accidentally makes it's way into the Episode Guide, explodes

But A.J doesn't need Ash to fight his battles for him, he holds out a restraining arm and tells the little boy that he'll handle this, before inviting Team Rocket to step outside. And once outside it's A.J versus Team Rocket on the raised battle platform while Ash, Brock and Misty watch on.
"Team Rocket has insulted our Gym, we'll answer them with our 100th win!"
"100!" gasps Ash, who is having trouble enough with the concept that 99 comes after 98, let alone 100 coming next!
"That's right, as Sandshrew and Ah vowed," grins A.J over his shoulder at Ash. "Good luck! gasps Ash.
"Your small talk will cost you big time," grins Jesse, "Ekans, GO!"
"Your turn," cries James, "Koffing!"
"Ekans!" hisses Ekans.
"KOFFING!" exclaims Koffing joyously, staring up ecstatically at two different points in the sky.

A crack of A.J's whip sends Sandshrew into action, and both Ekans and Koffing attempt to tackle it. Sandshrew dodges though, and Koffing goes zooming off to the left while Ekans digs into the ground.
"Ekans! Bind it now!" cries Jesse, and Ekans does just that, wrapping about Sandshrew and squeezing it roughly. But Sandshrew slips through, causing Ekans to wrap itself up in a knot. The kids are pretty impressed by this, and hell even Pikachu is dancing in head hand and with waving fans for some bizarre reason the cross cultural divide will never let us understand.
"Koffing! Sludge Attack!" cries James, but Sandshrew turns itself in a ball and spins about, causing the Sludge to bounce away from it.
"Meowth don't just stand there!" yells James when this fails. Meowth charges into battle, but instead of fighting he lets his nature get the better of him, and instead chases the ball of Sandshrew happily about singing, "Ladade-de-do-dah!"
"STOP PUSSYFOOTING AROUND!" screams Jesse.
"Just..... biting my time!" quips Meowth horribly, and sinks it's fangs deep into delicious Sandshrew flesh..... well he would have, if his teeth hadn't broken off in the tough skin!
"Aahhhh!" screams Meowth, but can't resist another horrible quip, "DA MOMENT OF TOOTH!"
"Finish it!" roars A.J, "Sandshrew! Fissure Strike!"
Sandshrew leaps high in the air and lightning strikes around it (didn't know a Ground-Type could do that, did ya!). Freezing in the air for a second for dramatic effect, it spins about at roughly the speed of sound, one would assume.
"Go Sandshrew! Drill through the ground till it splits!" cries A.J.
It dives back down and smashes hard hard into the ground, striking hard but.... nothing happens.

Yet.

Then splits the arena roughly in half, crushing the ground, swallowing up Team Rocket and putting an end to A.J's Illegal Pokémon Gym. Meowth crawls out of the fissure then starts running.
"Dat's it! I forfeit the match!"
"Ekans!" cries Ekans, slithering after Meowth in all haste.
"KOFFING!" Koffing proclaims with a nervous grin plastered across it's face and a sweat-drop forming on the side of it's round head/body. "Come back here!" yells Jesse.
"Meowth where are you going!" cries James as he and Jesse give chase.
"Tah write us a theme song!" Meowth calls back.
"Not that again!" snaps Jesse, and both her and James sigh with long suffering revulsion.
"We did it Sandshrew, we finally reached victory number 100!" cries A.J, he and Sandshrew posing as another flashback of their first meeting comes up on screen.
"Today all our sacrifices and hard work have finally paid off, now we can start winning our badges!" A.J happily tells Sandshrew and the audience as the kids stare on, pleased as punch, while A.J's Gym lies in collapsed ruin about them.

Way to win, A.J.

Later, outside the ruins of the Gym, A.J prepares to say goodbye to the kids as they continue towards Vermillion City and Misty's Romantic Cruise-Ship O'Love.
"When Ah return here Ah'm gonna be.... the number one Pohkemon Master," he tells them.
"Why don't you come along with us?" asks Ash, after spending the entire day telling him he's a bad trainer who abuses Pokémon and trying to drown him twice.
"Thanks, but Sandshrew and Ah have our own path that we must follow," A.J says, which is polite-speak for, "Ah'd rather chew off mah own nads."
Ash and A.J shake hands, and Ash promises, "Someday we'll meet again at the big Pokémon League competition.
"Okay! But next time you better be in shape, coz Ah only wanna beat expert trainers!" brags A.J.
"That's a deal!" laughs Ash, not quite realising that he's been insulted several times in the last minute.
"So long!" calls A.J as he turns and walks away with Sandshrew in tow.
"He's tough but pretty cool," says Misty.
"Yeah, looks like you've found another rival," smiles Brock.
"AJ! I'm not going to lose next time!" screams Ash at A.J, who is only like 10 feet away, "I'll train hard to become the greatest Pokémon Master in the world, following my own path!"
Ash stomps away like he's crapped his pants, while Pikachu waddles behind mimicking and mocking him, Brock watching on with a sidelong grin. The moral then, kids? Something about abuse maybe? Or perhaps not judging a book by it's cover? Or maybe something like making sure you're all paid up on your mortgage before you wreck your Gym?

Naaah, the moral here is, at the end of the day, everybody makes fun of Ash..... everybody.

BEST QUOTES

"But a real gentleman always carrys the bag." "Is that so?! Well, as you know, I'm no gentleman!"

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