ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
609: Bagged Then Tagged!	615: Satoshi to Hikari! Taggu Batoru!	The Lyra/Khoury Arc Ends			Ash and Sawn say goodbye to Lyra and Khoury by beating the shit out of them	They NEED to be perfectly stationary to eat!	It's not enough to just "believe" in your Pokémon, you need strategy too!

Today finds the twerps (and Lyra and Khoury) checking out the Coliseum Ruins on the outskirts of Lilypad Town, following Dawn's failed attempt to get her fifth ribbon. Brock explains that in ancient times in Sinnoh, this is where trainers worked with their Pokémon (in BLOOOOOOOOD SPORTS!?!?!).

It seems that Khoury and Lyra's time with the twerps is drawing to a close, as Khoury got a phonecall from his father telling him (and presumably Lyra) to meet him at the airport to return to Johto. As it will be their last day in Sinnoh, they'd like to get in some training in the Coliseum, and Ash and Dawn want to have a tag battle with them as their way of saying goodbye to the nerdy Khoury and the shipper Lyra. Before they can though, Brock insists they pay their respects by bowing to the statues of Dialga and Palkia and asking for a wish to be granted. They do so, and Ash reveals that his wish was to become a Pokémon Master... and also to win the Sinnoh League! Lyra's wish is to win the Johto League... but also to get to travel with her "friend", and Khoury is delighted, it seems Lyra has finally surrendered to her miserable fate of an inevitable marriage of disappointment to him. Brock has no doubt that Dawn's wish was to win her fifth ribbon (should have paid her respects BEFORE the Contest), and we have no doubt that Brock's wish was to get laid one day, somehow, some way.

Some things are beyond Dialga and Palkia, Brock!

But before they can get going with their battle, the pristine (and apparently not very popular tourist destination!) of the coliseum is shattered as mechanical claws tear out of the ground and grab up Piplup and Pikachu.... oh no! They've been....



Out of the ground appears a terrifying Drapion-Robot, clutching Pikachu and Piplup in its pincers as out of the head appears.... well, Team Rocket of course! And they're.... they are...... they're...

Goddamn why don't these two have high paying jobs as lazy, stupid models who coast by on their physical attractiveness while living a high life of affluence and luxuriant stupor?

"Asking dumb questions is a waste of my time!" says Jesse in answer to Khoury asking why anybody would grab Pikachu and Piplup.
"Though you have set us up for a good rhyme!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"It's your dime!" laughs Meowth.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Cause We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in your face!" they finish together.

Brock is fed up and Lyra has had it with their "tired" motto, infuriating James. Meowth hits a button that drops Piplup and Pikachu into the gaping maw of their mechanical Drapion and then lower back down into the ground, followed by Monferno sent out by Ash after the robot.

....you know, it's a pretty huge and impressive and expensive robot JUST to have grabbed a little proud penguin and a chubby yellow rat before taking off again....

Inside the Drapion-Bot, Pikachu and Piplup are trying to blast their way out but the walls appear to be resistant to their attacks. In the cockpit, Team Rocket detect Monferno chasing them and release a mini Drapion robot out the back of their bot to create a new tunnel and confuse Monferno. This works, a confused Monferno leaps out of the ground back to the surface as the twerps catch up, having followed the raised mounds of dirt. They decide to split up, Ash and Dawn in one team (Lyra doesn't even raise an eyebrow!) and Lyra, Brock and Khoury in the other.

Ash and Dawn get ahead of the burrowing smaller track of raised dirt and for some reason this causes it to stop even though it is BENEATH the surface and could just continue on underneath them without being slowed in the slightest. They demand it hand over Pikachu and Piplup, and get something out of a nightmare in return.

Jesse and James' mechanically altered voice comes out of the terrifying robot, mocking the twerps for following the wrong robot, and then straight up explodes in their faces, killing them immediately!

Okay, not quite, but Dawn insists that they pretend this never happened, which by a remarkable coincidence is the same thing Lyra will say to Khoury after the first time they have disappointing sex!

Meanwhile Brock, Khoury and Lyra have reached a river, and don't know if the Drapion-Bot went upstream or downstream, and Lyra wants to take a 50/50 chance on which way to go. Khoury says they should use logic here but she complains they don't have any clues to work with.

There are THREE of you, two go one way, the left-over loser (Brock!) go the other way! This isn't difficult!

Suddenly Khoury spots a number of Water Pokémon popping out of spouts of water ALONGSIDE the river upstream, looking shocked and upset at what is happening. Khoury figures out that this means Team Rocket went upstream (A-DURRRRRR!) and Brock takes a few seconds to try to figure out his reasoning.

Good God these children are thicker than pigshit.

The Drapion-Bot emerges from the river further upstream and Team Rocket leap out in delight believing they have gotten away scott-free. But meanwhile, Khoury, Lyra and Brock are approaching as Khoury explains his reasoning that the Water Pokémon are trying to get clear of something moving upriver. Lyra calls Dawn on the Pokégear that Khoury lent her before they split up, letting them know which way to go.

Team Rocket are celebrating their "victory" by sharing the last of their food (ONE cookie!) which they could have easily eaten while still driving away safely. James and Meowth complain they got the short end of the stick as their potions are considerably smaller than Jesse's. Upset by their complaints, Jesse takes their portions from them and eats them herself, grunting that if they don't want them, she'll have them. Pikachu and Piplup are squawking in complaint sitting inside a small barred cage, but Meowth insists it is escape proof despite the open bars that would allow them to at least hit Team Rocket with attacks.

Brock, Lyra and Khoury arrive and demand they hand the Pokémon over, which gets nothing but the derisive laughter it deserves. They prepare to return to their Drapion Robot.... at which point Staraptor swoops in as Ash and Dawn arrive, and what follows is predictable and justified, as Team Rocket face the consequences of not just KEEPING GOING WHEN THE GOING WAS GOOD!

Furious, Jesse calls out Seviper and James sends out Carnivine to.... eat his face off! Both Pokémon are (eventually) sent in to fight, and the now free Pikachu and Piplup blast through them into Team Rocket, sending them blasting off again... of course!

Ash is impressed with Khoury's deductive skills, and Lyra is all over him exclaiming his virtues (he's still going to be a lousy lay, Lyra) and they return to the still deserted (but now somehow repaired!) coliseum for their Tag Battle.

It's Monferno and Cyndaquil for Ash and Dawn against Lyra and Khoury's Chikorita and Totodile. Khoury is surprised, why use a Grass Type against Fire Types? It's a terrible match, but Lyra insists she has an idea and points out that as long as they work as a team they will be successful. He agrees that tag team partners have to have each other’s back (it helps if one half isn't a matchmaking obsessed moron!), and it seems justified as Chikorita's Light Screen protects it and Totodile from a Flamethrower/Swift Combo.

Totodile blasts Monferno with Water Gun, and once again Light Screen protects the two Pokémon from Swift. This causes Cyndaquil to freak out at the uselessness of its move, which leaves things open for Chikorita and Totodile to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A BABY MOUSE!

Chikorita starts taking in light for a Solar Beam, while Totodile rushes Cyndaquil to use Bite. Monferno hauls up Cyndaquil which obscures them with Smokescreen, leaving Totodile lost in the smoke as Chikorita lets rip with Solar Beam. The "obvious" doesn't happen though, as Totodile ducks down and the Solar Beam tears through the smoke to..... hit nothing! Monferno and Cyndaquil aren't there anymore!

Monferno tears out of the earth and UPPERCUTS TOTODILE STRAIGHT UP IN THE JAW! knocking it back into Chikorita. It then hits the latter with Mach Punch before Cyndaquil unleashes Swift on Totodile and both Lyra and Khoury's Pokémon are sent crashing back. Lyra insists they will win if they believe in their Pokémon (what if Ash and Dawn believe in theirs as well!) and the two battered Pokémon get up, Totodile glowing bright as it evolves into Croconaw!

Haha, it got fat!

According to Dexter, Croconaw will not release a bite unless it loses its fangs (which will then grow back) and it can use Hydropump. Khoury does just that, having Croconaw use the move on Monferno and Cyndaquil. Chikorita rushes in on Monferno with a Tackle, but before it can hit, Cyndaquil rolls in with a Flame Wheel and Monferno sets fire to THAT with Flamethrower, causing a double-flame wheel to smash and burn directly through the Grass Type Pokémon’s SOUUUUULLLLL!!!!!

Oh snap! Guess Lyra didn't believe in it enough, Chikorita is knocked the fuck out! Her "idea" was a huge failure and she's completely fucked things up for her "trusting" tag partner with this bullshit about just needing to believe!

DURRRR I GOT AN IDEA KHOURY DURRRRR LET'S GET OUR POKEMON MARRIED DURRRRRRR!

Croconaw tries an Aqua Tail on Cyndaquil, but it dodges aside and then Monferno rushes in with.... ULTIMATE MOTHERFUCKING KNOCK YOU OUT MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT MACH PUNCH HOLY FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKING MACH PUNCH GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT!!!!!!



Camera spinning around all Matrix-Crazy Slow-Mo like, Monferno straight up EXPLODES Crocanaw's jaw and sends it spinning through the air and knocked the fuck out just like Momma said it would!

You didn't believe in your Pokémon enough, Lyra and Khoury!

Battle over and Pokémon revived, Khoury lies to his future wife that her idea to use a Pokémon that was incredibly weak against Fire Types was a good one. She insists that they did pretty well against 7 Badge Ash and Four Ribbon "Dane". Brock goes on about how great they did too, while everyone ignores the fact that they straight up got their clocks cleaned by a couple of nice but dim kids.

Khoury gets a phonecall from his father asking whereabouts in the airport they're meeting and he freaks out, having forgot that he was supposed to meet him there and they have to get there RIGHT NOW! They rush to the airport and find Khoury's father, and Lyra asks Khoury if he would like to travel with her once they're back in Johto. He freaks out and says he can't believe she would ask him to do this, and SHE freaks out because she thinks that after finally settling for Khoury he is going to reject her! But no, he's just a nervous freak fuck who can't talk to women, and finally manages to stammer out that he'd love to travel with her. Ash, completely missing the point as usual, says there is nothing as great as travelling with a friend, and Brock wishes them luck in their battles against the Johto opponents that Ash has already trounced in the past.

Khoury's Dad thanks them for all their efforts in making his son less of a sorry sack of shit (and possibly getting him laid), and gives them a Pokégear by way of saying thanks. And with that, they say their goodbyes and the Lyra and Khoury arc of the show ends, as the twerps say goodbye to the miserable sack of nerves that was Khoury and the insane, boy-mad shipper Lyra.



I don't know about you, Gentle Dodgers, but I'm going to miss them!

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