ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
598: Gateway To Ruin!	604: Tenganzan no Iseki! Ginga-dan no Inbo!	The Gateway To Watchamacallit!			The twerps stumble into Team Galactic's search for the Gateway to Spear Pillar	Don't know what they're after, just that they REALLY want it	Disgusting pink slugs shouldn't be so cute

Today finds the twerps passing in the forest near the base of Mount Coronet. The forest is also a marsh land, and the muggy/foggy weather is giving the twerps a disconcerting feeling. They hear water ahead and move out of the trees and discover a fast moving river and a group of Shellos gathered together on the bank looking miserable. They're blue, unlike Zoey's which was pink, though according to the Pokédex this is normal; they come in one of two colours. They hear a squeak and turn to see that a pink Shellos is caught up in the current and being pressed against a rock. Piplup immediately leaps into the water to save it, its massive pride far greater than its tiny frame. Foolish Piplup! Do you not realise that pride is the....



Piplup swims through the water and catches Shellos as it starts to be swept downriver. Grabbing the rock, it holds the wide-eyed, fat-lipped Shellos in place as the twerps tear a branch off a tree beside the river and extend it to them to save them both. Once ashore, Shellos thanks Piplup which proudly fobs it off, and then Nurse Joy arrives with a rope, delighted to see Shellos is safe. Not as delighted as Brock is to see her though, as he proclaims his love and lust and asks her to look deep into his squinty eyes and see the tears forming as wet as the marshland... and Croagunk stabs him in the side and drags him off for all manner of muggy, sweaty activities best left to the imagination.

Nurse Joy notes that the Shellos is on the wrong side of Mount Coronet considering its colouration. Apparently when Mount Coronet first formed it separated a large colony of Shellos which developed different colouring to adapt to their environment. But recently, more pink Shellos have been getting lost over on the blue "east" side.

So.... is it like crips 'n' bloods and shit?

They head back to the Pokémon Centre and make sure the little Shellos is fit and healthy, and then Ash offers to return it to the West Side of Mount Coronet. Just then a man steps up, interested in seeing another pink Shellos. It's.... it's Mr. Looker!

Yes the wonderfully oddball fellow with the strange nose who is more than he seems is back! The twerps are happy to see him again but he quickly insists he is in a hurry and heads away, and so the twerps head off with Shellos.

Meanwhile, in dug tunnels under Mount Coronet, Team Galaxy under the guidance of Saturn are undertaking excavations, assisted by a smug fat scientist named Charon. Somehow, some way, Team Rocket have found their way inside and are sneaking a peek, pissed off at the "fashionable" Team Galaxy (with their horrible haircuts). Jesse spots a grunt standing by a large case and becomes convinced based on nothing but her "intuition" that there is something wonderful and valuable inside. So they come up with a plan! Steal the case and give it to the Boss!

Good God you have to admire their indomitably stupid bright-eyed optimism.

Meanwhile, Looker has also tracked down the tunnel and heads inside to find out what is going on. The twerps are also close by, travelling up the base of Mount Coronet, with Piplup proudly in the vanguard with the cute little Shellos sitting on its head. Spotting the caves and tunnels in the rock, Piplup stops to take a closer look and leans over too far, forgetting that Shellos is on its head and causing it to fall inside! Piplup quickly grabs it and falls in along with it, the horrified twerps squeaking in alarm and rushing to the edge where their weight causes them all to plummet down deep inside.

Meanwhile, Mr. Looker has borrowed some of Sam Fisher's gear and is using night vision goggles to follow recent human footprints in a tunnel. He hears a noise and approaches to investigate further, as deeper inside the twerps, Piplup, Pikachu and Shellos have recovered from their fall and are trying to figure out how to get out.

Saturn is fed up with how long it is taking to find the Gateway to Spear Pillar. But Charon is enjoying himself and chuckles at Saturn to try and get into the spirit of the search. They head off, Looker watching them from the shadows.

The twerps have found a clearly manmade tunnel (thanks to Brock's torch allowing them to see) and Shellos moves on ahead of them. Piplup follows after with the twerps rushing to keep up, finding more and more clearly manmade tunnels. Ash figures they should just find whoever is making them and ask the way out. They follow after Shellos which seems to be quite excited as it leads them on further and further until they see light and think they've found the way out.... and instead find....



Laurel and Hardy!

I mean Team Galactic!

It's Saturn and Charon, no more pleased to see the twerps then they are to see Team Galactic. Grunts surround them while Team Rocket and Looker watch from rocky hiding places, and the twerps quickly find themselves tied up while Charon is delighted to finally meet the "famous children". Saturn tells him to keep his mind on his work, while Jesse is telling James and Meowth to keep their minds on the "treasure" of the random guarded case. While the twerps are trying to figure out how to escape, Shellos manages to look cute while not only being a disgusting pink slug but also being miserable and crying!

Quite the accomplishment!

Ash doesn't understand what is the matter (it's been tied up!) and the noise of its crying is pissing off Charon. A Galactic Grunt rushes up (making Saturn suspicious) and yells at Shellos to shut up, then gently pets it and tells it is going to be okay. He whispers to the twerps that he is going to get them out of there, loosening the knots on their ropes. With Shellos quiet now, he gets up and declares everything to his satisfaction, then reports to the still suspicious Saturn that headquarters sent him to assist with the expedition.

Think about this, Gentle Dodgers, Looker didn't just beat up some Galactic Grunt and wear his costume, he SHAVED (or scalped!) the grunt's head and is wearing it as a wig!

Charon is irritated that someone extra was sent, and the new grunt asks to be bought up to speed as he was sent in a rush. Charon explains they're looking for the Gateway to Spear Pillar, and will use the key stolen from the ancient ruins (contained in the case Jesse has had her eye on) to open it. Charon also straight up without giving a single fuck reveals to Saturn that he doesn't give a crap about "the new world" that Team Galactic wants to create and is only interested in getting access to the Spear Pillar, and tells the new grunt that now he is up to speed.

So the new grunt does a backflip!

Hell of a team, that Team Galactic.

The twerps' ropes are torn to shreds.... somehow.... and the grunt tears off his uniform to reveal he is Looker, and introduces himself dramatically as the.... let's guess, is he in the Pokémon Protection League? The Range of Pokémon Defenders? Pokémon Police Protection Squad? Pokémon Defence Unit?

No, he's in the International Police! He's got a REAL job!

As Looker and Saturn make dramatic declarations at each other, Shellos has had enough and waddles away miserably. The twerps chase after it, and Team Rocket take advantage of "sweet pandemonium" to run in, use Seviper's Haze and steal the key.... then stick around to brag about it!

"When it comes to this team, too much is never enough!"
"Since we're so strong and tough!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Ready and r-" starts Meowth, before Charon screams at them to shut up.

Things.... things don't work out for the best for Team Rocket, as you might have guessed.

Meanwhile Shellos has found a dead end and burst into tears again until the twerps calm down the high maintenance little slug and put it on Piplup's head. Meanwhile, Looker is.... KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF A BUNCH OF DUDES!

Two of the grunts with the scanning equipment think maybe they better run in and get their asses kicked too, but then their scanners start glowing red and making noises, and Charon believes they may have found the ruin they're looking for. Saturn calls out Toxicroak and it smashes its way through the rock and reveals a large, pristine building carved out of the rock. Charon believes it is the Gateway to Spear Pillar, and Saturn has the case removed from Team Rocket against their will. Toxicroak uses Dark Pulse to send them blasting off again, Jesse furious that she didn't get to make use of the thing that she didn't really understand what it was anyway!

They open the case and prepare for the key to open the Gateway.... but nothing happens! Charon rather sheepishly admits that they must have the wrong ruin and Saturn grunts that they're leaving, packs up the key and everyone starts a quick march out. Looker is surrounded by Pokémon and can't get to them, so Ash and Dawn have Piplup and Pikachu try to attack, but are blocked and Team Galactic make their escape.

The tunnels begin to rumble and water bursts out of the stone near the unearthed ruins, subsurface water rising. Luckily Mr. Looker is a fucking badass and has a tiny inflatable raft tucked into his trenchcoat. They leap in and ride the rapids out of Mount Coronet and down onto the other side, while Team Galactic leave in their helicopters, Charon cackling that they just have to keep looking for the Gateway.

As the sun sets, Looker parts company with the twerps to report to Headquarters. Before he goes he checks his map and finds they're on the Western Side of the Mountain, so the twerps are close to the Shellos' home. The twerps move on, and as they go they notice that the tunnels opened by Team Galactic have been sealed by the sediment pushed up by the flowing water. With the tunnels blocked, the pink Shellos won't end up on the wrong side of the Mountain again.

Moving on through the forest, they locate a herd of pink Shellos which their little Shellos clearly belongs to. Reunited at last, they all head off together, leaving the twerps to wave goodbye as they ponder the question that has plagued philosophers for thousands of years.

How can little pink slugs be so cute?

BEST QUOTES

"The Gateway to the Whatchamacallit is but putty in our hands!"

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