ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
589: Sliding Into Seventh!	595: Kissaki Jimu! Kori no Batoru!	Sapphic Seventh			Ash competes for his 7th Gym Badge	Literally defeated by a fart	Abominable snowmen are weak against surfing fire monkeys

Last episode saw the twerps meet Candice, Gym Leader of Snowpoint City and good.... "friend" of Zoey. Now it is time for his seventh Gym Battle! Is this it? They only meet an episode ago and now, it is feasible? Could Ash actually be....



The interior of the Gym is a field of ice, with outcroppings poking out of the smooth surface. Zoey, Dawn and Brock are the only people in the stands - it seems that Candice didn't think there was any value in her class of learner-trainers watching an ACTUAL Pokemon Battle? This time the battle will be Four Pokémon rather than the usual three, though as usual only Ash can substitute out Pokémon.

The Headmaster - Mr. Honcho - is judging the battle, meaning that the Training School is without the two top authority figures, and the young kids are being a little raucous. Team Rocket are watching the interior of the school from outside, knowing that this is their best opportunity, when their usual threats are all concentrated somewhere else. They head inside, but find the room holding the Pokeballs padlocked and chained and padlocked again! It seems they figured the people who tried to steal all their Pokemon only yesterday might return! But Meowth doesn't seem concerned, he has a backup plan.

Back at the battle, after Candice pulls off her top and the camera spends as much time as possible focused on her tits, she calls out Sneasel. Ash surprises everyone by bringing out Grotle, who is weak against Ice Types. Candice likes his unpredictability, but that doesn't stop her sending in Sneasel at speed, skating along the ice avoiding Energy Ball and skating around Grotle in circle, using Icy Wind to slowly coat Grotle in ice. Grotle makes no move to fight back though, Ash telling it to wait for the right moment, and that seems to come when Candice calls for Fury Swipes and Ash replies with Razor Leaf.

Sneasel has come in too close too fast and takes the blast full on, landing on one of the icy outcroppings. Ash orders Rock Climb, and the forward momentum of Grotle coupled with the ice means that Sneasel's attempted Icy Wind doesn't slow it at all. It thunders up the outcropping and connects directly with Sneasel, sending it flying through the air and crashing down into the ice, down and definitely out! The twerps and Zoey are impressed, and so is Candice, who is enjoying such a strong and unpredictable opponent. Her next choice of Pokémon is.... Medicham! Ash's reply is Staraptor, a Flying Type vs a Fighting Type, which is a bit more predictable than normal.

Meanwhile, Meowth's Plan B has been revealed.... they dug a hole! Even James is less than impressed with this simple plan, but Jesse and Meowth both note that it worked! They're in the room and happily swiping Pokeballs.

Back at the battle, Staraptor is flying high above Medicham, but that doesn't stop it using Confusion to halt it in place. Dawn realizes that as a Psychic Type as well as a Fighting Type it is able to counter Staraptor's aerial advantage, and more than that too, as it counters another aerial move.... physically!

Seeing Staraptor caught by the beak, Ash is smart enough to order Close Combat, but as it pummels Medicham back, Candice has her Pokémon use Fire Punch and both are sent flying backwards. Staraptor uses Brave Bird and crashes hard into Medicham, emerging from the smoke to reveal....



Woah, Ash is kicking her ass! This.... isn't good! Easy victories at this stage probably means that Candice is getting close to unleashing hellfire and brimstone upon Ash.... we better not get no,"Well that was well fought but you lost might as well go away for twenty episodes and train and do some contests as well and then I guess maybe come back over the course of 15 episodes and finally get another shot at me!" episode!

Ash makes the mistake of being a little too confident as he tauntingly asks Candice how she is doing, and she tells him he won't be having too easy a time from now on (oh dammit!) and calls out Snover. Ash stares at it, wondering what Pokémon he should use next.

Back at the training school, Jeremiah takes the children to the Pokeball room to see the Pokémon, but is alarmed to find it emptied of its contents and a large hole in the floor. They rush outside and find Team Rocket about to leave, but simply unable to resist performing their motto!

"Woulda shoulda coulda are the lamest words that I know!"
"All dressed up in a suit with no place to go!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Wif full bags, yo!" Meowth informs us all.
"Bringing true chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place....." starts James, until the other shoe drops.

Too late they realise they've let themselves get surrounded by small, angry children. They immediately cheese it for the nearby shed, hiding themselves inside and figuring they must be safe in this enclosed space with no exit and the police just down the street.

Back at the Gym Battle, Ash has called out Gliscor to face off with Snover. Snover uses Razor Leaf but Gliscor dodges and uses Fire Fang to bite down with flames on Snover's mouth, then smack it with its tail. But Snover comes back with Ice Beam, though Gliscor dodges the second and goes for another Fire Fang. But Snover uses Bullet Seed to hold it off and Icy Wind to blast Gliscor back with force into the wall, cratering it. Mr. Honcho says that Gliscor is unable to battle, but maybe it's not quite done for ye-



Never mind.

Ash recalls it to its Pokeball and sends in his fourth Pokémon - Chimchar! It leaps from outcropping to outcropping, dodging Ice Beam and using Flamethrower, which runs into Snover's Icy Wind, the two moves creating a veil of steam over the arena. Chimchar can't see Snover now, but can it hear it taunting him from inside the steam. Ash tells it not to panic though, and to wait and listen till it knows where it is.... and the result is.... hilarious!

Snover is sent face first into an icy crag and knocked out, and now Candice is down to her last Pokémon, predictably Abomasnow. Ash has 3 of his Pokémon left, two of which are mostly unhurt and one which is completely unblemished.

Chimchar uses Flamethrower but it is blown away by Abomasnow's Blizzard, knocking Chimchar back into an icy crag. Ash immediately recalls Chimchar, then sends out Staraptor based on his assumption that Abomasnow will be too slow to stop an aerial attack.

He chose.... poorly.

Abomasnow easily stops Staraptor in its tracks with Ice Punch, then sends it flying backwards and crashing to the ice, bizarrely knocked out by little more than a gust of wind. Ash recalls Staraptor, leaving him with only Grotle and Chimchar to choose from. He sends out Grotle and has it use Rock Climb, and Abomasnow....



Jesus Christ.

Oh God, it is, isn't it? It's going to be a "Well that was well fought but you lost might as well go away for twenty episodes and train and do some contests as well and then I guess maybe come back over the course of 15 episodes and finally get another shot at me!" episode!

Grotle is knocked clean out, and Ash tells it that it did great in getting knocked out with one shot, and recalls it. This leaves Ash with only Chimchar, and panicking as he envisages Candice and Abomasnow leering over him. He sends out Chimchar and Candice mocks him for a choice based on simple type advantag-

It's the only Pokémon he's legally allowed to use anymore, ya jerk!

Abomasnow lunges and roars at a terrified Chimchar which rushes away in panic time and time again. But as it stomps towards Chimchar, it shatters an ice shard beneath it and the brainless Ash has one of his bizarre strategic ideas come to him in a flash. He orders Chimchar to get up onto an Ice Boulder and allow Abomasnow to smash shards free with a punch, and then has Chimchar leap on top of one of the shards... and turn it into a surfboard!

Suddenly Chimchar has a decided speed advantage, and surfs around and around Abomasnow which can't keep up. Chimchar blasts its ass with Flamethrower again and again, dodging Punches and Blizzards and infuriating Abomasnow enough that it chases after Chimchar in a rage, tiring itself out as it tries to keep up... and leaves itself open for a direct full frontal attack of Flame Wheel! It is sent crashing backwards before Flame Wheel, and a desperate Candice has Abomasnow use a last ditch Blizzard to blast directly into the sides of the Flame Wheel!

Steam once again rushes over the arena, leaving Ash, Candice and the twerps to stare and wait as it clears to show Abomasnow towering above Chimchar and..... out on its feet! It crashes to the ground and it's over.... he won..... Ash won! He won his 7th Gym Badge only one episode after arriving at Snowpoint City!

Oh my God!

Meanwhile at the training school, Team Rocket remain happily tucked up inside the shed, having rested enough that they figure it is time to dig a hole and escape. Outside though, Jeremiah has had enough and sends in Eek the Cat.... I mean Skuntank, which slides in through the catflap and unleashes one giant fucking fart (seriously, this is actually, literally, what it did) that sends Team Rocket bursting out of the shed through the wall and into the forest, horrified with Mother Nature!

But none of that matters, because.... Ash WON HIS MOTHERFUCKING SEVENTH GODDAMN GYM FUCKING BADGE!

At which point... Paul shows up! He ignores Ash completely, asking Candice if she is the Snowpoint Gym Leader. When she admits she is, he immediately challenges her to a Gym Battle!

It looks like we're not done with Snowpoint City yet!

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