ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
580: Noodles! Roamin Off!	585: Roketto-dan Kaisan!?	A Woman, a Gay and a Noodle Shop;			Team Rocket split up (again!)	Can't keep away from each other!	Life will take you strange places but you can always rely on true friends

Today finds the twerps moving through the forest towards town and a meal for their well-fed bellies.... and then Team Rocket show up!

The twerps are shocked and horrified as they come crashing in squeezed into the cockpit of a smaller than normal robot.... then become disinterested when they realise it is "just" Team Rocket. Ash, who perhaps thinks that Team Rocket's constant ambushes are just their attempt at playing, distractedly tells Pikachu to Thunderbolt them and.... yes, Team Rocket is blasting off already!

They crash into the ocean and wash up on shore covered in seaweed, Jesse's hair bedraggled and plastered over her face. She and Meowth seem to have had it but oddly enough the normally submissive and quiet James gets all heated up; this is no time for a break or for quitting! How dare the twerps brush them off just because they wanted some....



James leads the depressed Jesse and Meowth into town as they complain about their hunger, when they catch a scent - a restaurant.... and they have no money! Nevertheless they slip inside and get three extra large bowls of absolutely delicious noodles, so delicious that the trio become spiders!

Meowth burns his tongue while Jesse and James demonstrate they're both highly proficient and practised at sucking on noodles and draining every bit of liquid from them! They finish theirs as Meowth begin his, and as Jesse begins reapplying her lipstick she tells James to pay up.... and he reminds them that they don't have any money. Jesse grabs Meowth in the middle of his meal so they can do a runner, but just then they spot the twerps entering the restaurant and duck down to hide, at which point a chef steps up behind them and tells them to come and see the owner. In the kitchen they bow down and beg for forgiveness from the owner, and he tells them this has nothing to do with them not paying - it's HIM! Their old friend Christopher! From Team Rocket Training Academy!

Yes, it's yet another Team Rocket made-up continuity episode! Hooray!

Apparently Christopher struggled in Team Rocket Academy but Jesse and James would keep his spirits up, and one time they bought him some Ramen Noodles and the taste blasted his fucking face off!

Thems some good noodles!

So when Christopher presumably flunked out of the Academy he returned to Sinnoh and opened the.... Jesse and James Noodle Shop! And was so successful that he now owns 11 different restaurants all over the region! As a result he wants Jesse and James to eat for free as much as they want, their money is no good! They're amazed, incredulous and ecstatic! They did something nice and it's come back to reward them!

Just then, the chef slips a noodle ball loose and it flies towards Meowth, who responds instinctively by slashing the ball into noodles. It's a display of perfect form that impresses Christopher so much that he declares that he wants Meowth to come work for him and eventually replace him as head of his chain of restaurants! (because apparently Christopher's life expectancy is less than that of a small cat who frequently gets exploded).

Meowth's reaction to this?



Mo' money, mo' bitches!

But Jesse and James have other ideas, Meowth is part of their team and is responsible for building and maintaining machines and also feeding them! Meowth does want to take Christopher up on his offer though, but Christopher refuses to break up the team of his mentors, and so Meowth is left to a life of horrible, horrible freedom.

Sometime later, the twerps are leaving town and re-entering the forest enjoying full stomachs, Dawn saying they should look out for another one in the chain of restaurants. Just then though, a robotic bowl of ramen noodles smashes through the trees before them!

Well ain't that just always the way!

"Listen, twerps outside the bowl!"
"We're bringing goodies and ready to roll!"
"Noodles!" cries Jesse, clutching noodles in her hands and wearing a Gyarados dress with a thigh-high slit.
"And broth!" adds James, swinging a ladle of broth and wearing a Growlithe print uniform.
"Wif a lot of soul!" screams Meowth.
"Eat in, take out, your call!"
"Either way, you'll have a ball!"
"Delights to please the tummy and eye!"
"The more you eat the more we make," giggles James, floating by in space,"Give us a try!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Placing those noodles on your plate!"
"We're Team Rocket!"
"AIN'T WE GREAT!" they finish together.

It's Team Rocket, of course, presenting a motto with a definite noodle theme as the twerps just stare, Ash muttering that they've lost it this time. Meowth hits a button and noodles zip out and grab Pikachu, which blasts back with Thunderbolt and..... Team Rocket is sent blasting off again!

AGAIN!?!

Yes Meowth didn't electric-proof them despite their previous encounter, and they end up in the sea and covered in seaweed again. Jesse tries to blame James for their failure, but James reminds her that Meowth should have taken care of this issue and he agrees, and they come to the conclusion that their plan was solid and Meowth's execution was poor. With that they prepare to head off and work out a new plan, but Meowth stops them, and they turn to discover the little scratch-cat has had enough!



ENOUGH!

He declares he is going back to the shop to become a Noodle Master. Thus on the deserted beach landscape surrounded by seaweed, Meowth declares he is leaving them and runs away. A horrified James tries to call him back and Jesse takes him by the shoulder and tells him that if this is Meowth's dream then they have to let him follow it. James sits watching the tide come in as Jesse sits looking at her two ribbons, and then steps up and tells James that it's time for her to leave to! SHE'S LEAVING!

Yes, incredibly Jesse has decided to give "Jesselina" her full attention, and tells James that he should think about returning to his filthy rich family and "that fiancé" as well! James is shocked, appalled and terrified (that fiancé indeed!) but as he turns back Jesse is already in full on Jesselina regalia and spinning herself away leaving James the only member of Sinnoh's Team Rocket division left!

After tearfully crying out his defiance to the ocean that alone he would rise up the ranks of Team Rocket, that night, James sits by a campfire looking at the stars and sees Meowth and Jesse's faces in them. He wonders what they are doing right now and his stomach growls, hungry for food - admitting that he talks the talk but balks the walk.

But just then he hears the twerps talking. Throwing a bucket of water over his campfire and sneaking through to the bushes, he spies the twerps sitting around a campfire. They're talking about rumours of an oddly coloured Metagross that has been spotted by the Rocky Mountains. James realises he could capture that Metagross and get into the good books with the Boss, and rushes off, not hearing Dawn admonish Ash that his own plan to go check out the Metagross the next day is a bad one. It turns out that the Metagross is actually very aggressive and all those that have attempted to nab it have ended up badly injured.

The next day the sun rises over Rocky Mountains, and we find James by a sign warning of Metagross ahead. He heads up the path, while a couple of young men heading back from some brokeback fun spot him and commentate that he's crazy to be going up Metagross Mountain. James doesn't hear them though, he's too busy thinking that if he tells the Boss that it was a team effort to capture the rare Metagross, that much success will be sure to drag Jesse and Meowth back into the fold.

Jesse, meanwhile, is practising with Yanmega when she hears the two men talking amongst themselves and mistakenly thinks that they're commenting on her contesting ability. When she realises they're just talking about some crazy trainer she goes back to trying to get Yanmega not to roost on her head when she overhears them say that the trainer will be lucky not to be savaged by Metagross, and that he had a large R on his chest!

She demands to know what they're talking about, while James is looking about for the oddly collared Metagross high in the mountains. He calls out for it and gets its attention as it creeps up with a furious look on its face. Back in town, Jesse zooms in a panic through the streets to the noodle restaurant to get Meowth's attention. But she finds him performing in front of a full house as he slices and dices noodles. Everyone is very impressed, and Meowth moans happily that he hasn't felt this satisfied since that one time he got to sit on the Boss' lap! Oh my!

But then he is distracted by the struggling Jesse as Christopher hauls her out of the full restaurant, not recognising her in her Jesselina get-up. Meowth steps outside where he finds a horrified Christopher bowing miserably, having figured out who she is. Meowth asks what is going on and Jesse tries to tell him about James, but he snaps back that the Meowth she used to know is gone!

He angrily tells her that she and James never appreciated his talents, and she turns her back to him and says that she only came to congratulate him, she doesn't want anything from him.... then runs off crying as he turns around to watch her go in shock.

Meanwhile, James has discovered that you should be careful what you wish for!

Yes after encountering the oddly coloured Metagross (it has a yellow cross on its face instead of a blue one and silver "skin"), James sent in Mime Jr. to Teeter Dance it into confusion.... and it worked!! Metagross' arms flailed about, but unfortunately it was in the middle of psychically raising up rocks at the time and these began flying around dangerously too. Rushing away from the rocks carrying Mime Jr, James sent in Carnivine to use Vine Whip, which resulted in their current wrapped up situation.

Metagross psychically lifts them and begins to glow bright.... and then Yanmega and Seviper come to the rescue! They smash it over the side of the mountain and send it plummeting to sure death below! But where did Yanmega and Seviper come from? From Jesse of course, who is bravely posing high on a rock with the camera trying desperately to look up her skirt! She spreads her legs momentarily for the unappreciative audience that is James, then leaps down before him and tells him he could have been toast. He tries to insist that he was fine on his own, but she mockingly tells "Captain Machismo" that he knows he is glad to see her and they decide to have another go at Metagross.... James finally convinced after Jesse quotes "some guy".... which turns out to be him!

"That's me!" he declares!

They move to the edge of the cliff, looking down as the terrifying, somehow insectile looking Metagross pulls itself clear off the rocks. Jesse thinks it isn't THAT tough, at which point it glows bright and blasts psychic rocks right at them. Jesse panics and calls out Wobbuffet to save them, and it reverses the attack right back at Metagross, dropping it to its knees! Jesse is delighted, despite the fact that Metagross is alleged to have a super-computer like brain it seems to be in over its head.... at which point it calculates a multiple angle attack by bouncing rocks off the walls of the canyon!

Once more rocks shoot wildly at the mocking Team Rocket who realise too late they're under attack from multiple sides. It rises up out of the canyon and Team Rocket cheese it, recalling their Pokémon but unable to escape themselves as it psychically hauls them up into the air.

Back at the Noodle Restaurant, Meowth is remembering some of the good times that they shared, but is determined that this time he is going to stick with moving up the ladder of success. But as he shaves off noodles, he hears the two brokeback boys talking about that crazy Jesselina who was going to the Rocky Mountain too after the guy with the Red R on his shirt.

Back at the mountain, Jesse and James are preparing for death with surprising class, James saying he at least he had her and Meowth. She tells him to look her up if they end up in the "great Team Rocket Beyond" (she means death, Gentle Dodgers) and then Metagross prepares to finish them..... and gets blasted by a Team Rocket Rocket fired from Meowth in the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon!

HOORAH!

He tells them it is time to book as the stunned Metagross crashes into the ground, and they leap into the basket with a crash. Meowth begs them for forgiveness and asks to be let back in, and they tell him that they don't recall ever hearing him quit and now it is time to get back to work. But as they hug in delight, Metagross' freaky limbs start spinning in Gyro-Ball. They try to escape in their balloon but Metagross is too fast and calculating and sends them blasting off again for the third time..... but happily! Because they're back together again - Meowth could have rescued them and returned to his job but chose not to! - and there's a Pikachu out there waiting for them!

And so off they blast in a twinkle of light, spotted by Dawn elsewhere in the forest. She wishes happily on the "shooting star" while Ash laughs that maybe it is Team Rocket getting blasted off by Metagross and crying out,"We're blasting off again!"

Haha yeah, it sure would be funny if those people got severely physically assaulted!

And on they head towards Ash's next Gym Battle, and of course Team Rocket will be there too, because happily as always, their adventures as well as the twerps' are....

BEST QUOTES

"I haven't felt dis fulfilled since da one time I sat on da Boss's lap!"

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