Oh my, looks like Empoleon is upset, it needs....



The twerps still haven't left for Chocovine despite freeing up the sea traffic, but now Dawn suggests they leave for the pier and asks Ash where his next Gym Battle will be. According to their map, Snowpoint City is close to Chocovine, so they plan to head north after Dawn's Contest. Nurse Joy pops in and tells Ash he has a phone call, and it's Barry who asks if he won at the Canalave Gym yet? Ash shows off his badge and Barry says he can consider Ash a "rival" now, then admits that Empoleon has gone odd and doesn't seem to recognise him anymore, and a lot of other Pokémon seem to be having issues as well. He asks if Ash's Pokémon are having trouble, but of course they're not, so it seems that this is an Iron Island problem only. Ash offers to come over and help and Dawn is happy to go along with him and Brock and put off the Contest (that won't start till they get there anyway!) but Barry seems upset at the suggestion that he can't solve the problem himself. Ash quickly tries to calm the fucking retard down and says they can solve things faster if they work as a team, and Brock says a ferry leaves in 15 minutes.

Meanwhile at the pier, Team Rocket are pedalling away in their Magikarp Submarine, Meowth asking Jesse if she is REALLY sure that the twerps are going to Canalave. Jesse is absolutely positive and lo and behold there they are on their periscope screen, the twerps rushing for the ferry..... then making a 90 degree turn and rushing for the Iron Island ferry instead! Still, wrong or not, where the twerps go, Team Rocket goes..... for no real definable reason that they can really remember anymore.

Once on the ferry, Ash jumps about from foot to foot like he gotta pee real bad. Dawn sighs, whether at his antics or because she's just realised what the hell she has anchored her life to, and tells him to calm down. They spot the island up ahead, Team Rocket following behind and bored by the appearance of the island - you've seen one, you've seen them all!

The twerps leave the ferry and go to the Pokémon Centre, but Barry has already left! Ash can't believe it, though Dawn and Brock don't seem overly surprised. Brock does take the chance to try and hit on Nurse Joy, and gets rammed in the ass for his troubles by Croagunk and dragged away. Joy takes them to see Empoleon and the other Pokémon that have been affected - all of them Steel Types!

They head further into the island, which is very grey and boring. As they move along, Diglett burst out of the ground in terror and zoom past them, and then a Lairon smashes free from the ground, ANGRY!

It rams into nearby rocks, sending debris smashing towards the twerps who duck away in panic. They figure out that the Lairon isn't chasing the Diglett but is in some kind of pain, and Brock figures out that the steel types are running rampant to try and block out their pain..... which gives Ash a plan! BEAT IT UP!

Oh Ash.

He has Pikachu Thunderbolt at Lairon which dodges or avoids it until finally it takes a direct shot.... and runs right through it! So Ash has a fresh plan!



Oh. Oh Ash.

Pikachu knocks the idiot aside and Lairon knocks itself out running into a rock (unlike the other rocks it smashed through). But they're not done yet, as a Metang bursts out of the ground and rams its head against rocks, followed by a roaring Steelix and some buzzing Skarmory, causing Geodudes and Rattata and all manner of non-Steel Pokémon to run about in a panic. An Aggron smashes out of the earth and starts battering everything around, then blasts at the twerps but are saved by.... a mysterious stranger! And his Lucario! His asskicking Lucario!

The Mysterious Stranger takes the twerps with him as they follow Lucario, which scans the area with Aura and figures out the area is "safe" and they can take a break. The man is Riley, he wears a blue and black suit and wears a hat that is similar in fashion to Lucario's head, and as a specialist in Steel Types he considers Iron Island a "home". The twerps are confused though, isn't Lucario part Steel-Type? So why isn't it affected by whatever is causing the others pain? According to Riley, it is using its Aura to protect itself, which Ash thinks is just fucking cool. They mention that they are looking for Barry but he hasn't seen him.... so where is Barry?

In the sky, that's where!

Yes the young idiot has gotten himself into even more trouble than Ash, chased by Magnemite as he leaps off of a cliff because that's apparently the thing to do. Grabbed by his Heracross in midair, they float along and Barry notices some construction going on off in the distance, and then a Skarmory buzzes past them and knocks them both out of the air.... and onto Team Rocket! Jesse in particular!



Lucky bastard!

"Our problems has been twerps from day one!" announces Jesse.
"You take away all our fun!" adds James.... and then once again Barry doesn't give them a chance to finish their motto, having Heracross knock them onto their backs with their legs spread (hey hey!) and infuriating Meowth who didn't get to his line!

Meanwhile, Lucario is using Aura to scan the area as the twerps and Riley follow on. Apparently, Riley's research has indicated that a low frequency soundwave is permeating the island that affects Steel Types and they're trying to find the source. Riley tries to send them back to town and promises he'll send Barry on if he meets him, but Ash refuses. He wants to help, and when Riley says it is too dangerous, Ash angrily snaps back that it is the Pokémon that is in danger and Brock and Dawn agree - as trainers they have to help. Riley considers it but points out that this will mean attacking Pokémon that can't help themselves, and if they can't, then they won't be helping anymore.

As the twerps try to figure out this moral conundrum, Barry is busy accusing Team Rocket of being responsible for the crazed Pokémon and declares he is fining them for it. Jesse angrily retorts that she never carries cash, before James and Meowth point out that even if she did, they're NOT responsible for the crazed Pokémon. Barry insists that the machine is theirs though, and points it out to Team Rocket who for once are NOT responsible for a crazy expensive machine wreaking havoc.

He leads them up the hill where they discover.... Team Galactic! Yes those crazy ass fashion victims with terrible hair are working on some kind of excavation with the stolen Spear Key. Their Pokémon are fighting off the crazed Steel Types as they work, not caring about the problems they are causing. As Barry and Team Rocket peek over and the latter explain to the former that they are NOT part of Team Galactic, a crazed Steelix bursts up behind them and knocks them over the edge, right into sight of the Team Galactic Overseer - Mars. Barry is attacked but his Heracross saves him, and after he recalls it he sends out the rest of his Pokémon.... and Team Rocket send in theirs! He's surprised by their help but they point out that they have a bone to pick with Team Galactic.

The twerps are on their way with Riley towards the source of the attack, while at the excavation site itself, the combined front of Barry and Team Rocket are.... getting their asses kicked!

Meowth charges and the fat Purugly Fury Swipes him back into Team Rocket and the Pokémon, and they all crash through the ground and find themselves in a huge underground chamber with a carved mural of Dialga and Palkia!

Mars mocks them for being pathetic and tells them to remain there forever, then heads off to oversee the final work on the excavation of what looks like an old iron temple with statues of Dialga and Palkia outside.

The twerps and Riley arrive on a ledge overlooking the excavation and Brock explains to Riley who Team Galactic are. Riley figures the building is the source of the strange emanation, and Lucario detects a great power coming from the key. Mars picks it up and carries it to the front of the building, where an identical indent sits waiting. The key glows, lifts and inserts into the indent and begins to glow, as do the statues outside the building and the mural in the underground chamber. A blast of power blasts out of an obelisk outside the build, zaps into the sky and blasts back out to hit a mountaintop somewhere else in the world.

The force of the power seems to overwhelm Lucario and sends it stumbling backwards, its Aura no longer preventing the crazed confusion caused by the soundwave. Before Riley and the twerps' horrified eyes, it loads up a blast of Aura Sphere and prepares to attack, as Riley and Ash charge to intercept. What happens? We won't know till next week, Gentle Dodgers, because this story is....

BEST QUOTES

"I heard that junk once!" "How dare you!" "We haven't finished that junk!"

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