ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
569: A Breed Stampede!	574: Pokémon to Nakayoku Naru Hoho!?	Dawn's No-Good Teenage Kid			Dawn's Piloswine evolves... again!	Completely legitimate grievances	Being a single mum is hard!

Today finds the twerps watching a Contest Wrap-Up on the television screen in an otherwise empty Pokémon Centre. Kenny and Nando have both won ribbons recently (their third and fourth respectively), and the host mentions another contest coming up soon. Dawn assures Brock that she means to win another ribbon soon too and Ash promptly leaps up and declares he has to do some training and bursts out the door without a second glance back at them, living life at 150 miles an hour and no brakes, too stupid to live, too dumb to die. Dawn decides she'll use Piloswine at her next contest, since it is newly evolved and she can make use of its new abilities.

Yes, this is a brilliant plan; put a newly evolved giant shaggy monster into an unfamiliar situation surrounded by thousands of leering, screaming people! Certainly there couldn't possibly be....



Ash trains Chimchar against Grotle as Dawn and Brock watch. Gliscor wants in to train too and gropes at Ash in desperation till Pikachu breaks them up, and a jealous Piplup wants Dawn to acknowledge it after she comments how Pikachu is such a help to Ash.

Dawn sends out Piloswine for some training too and shouts a series of commands to the shaggy tusked haystack.... which just sits still and unmoving. Piplup approaches and checks under its ears and lifts the furry flaps over its eyes, and Dawn orders a Take Down, so Piloswine..... digs under the ground! Surprised, Dawn figures that Piloswine has dug down to pop out and THEN do Takedown, so they stand and watch and wait.... and wait..... and wait. The twerps all approach the hole and look down confused, not sure what Piloswine is doing. Pikachu offers to go down and take a look and a jealous Piplup promptly jumps down instead and follows the burrowed tunnel until it encounters Piloswine's fat ass taking up all the space. It squeezes past and gets right up in Piloswine's grill, apparently surprising and enraging the fat mammoth pig which goes crazy and stampedes right through Piplup!



Bet it wishes they sent Pikachu instead now!

Piplup explodes out of the ground like a geyser and crashes down dazed, then leaps proudly up as Dawn rushes over to check if it is okay. Brock suggests that Piloswine is hungry so Piplup calls it over for a poffin, and THIS time it listens, she throws more around and it rushes around to grab them up, but once they're all gone it.... charges her! Ash hauls her aside and Piloswine smashes into a tree, then rushes at them again, apparently gone rabid! Pikachu leaps into the way and then... Piplup leaps INTO its way, only to be smacked aside effortlessly. Dawn and Ash run around in horror as the rabid mammoth pig tries to gore them, and Gliscor leaps up and down trying to get their attention, and Ash sees it and realises what must be done..... ask Grotle for help!

Dawwww, poor Gliscor.

Piloswine blasts Ice at Grotle as Pikachu helps Piplup stagger back in. Ash finally sends in Gliscor, Piplup following trying to help, and Gliscor uses Screech to slow down Piloswine's charge. The shaggy pig uses Icebeam on Gliscor's mouth but the floating bat-like Pokémon fights through it with.... Fire Fang!?! Ash is surprised, while Piplup suffers the after-effects of Screech. Gliscor melts the ice around Grotle and catches Piplup as it is barrelled out of the way (at this point, Piplup is filling the role of the weedy little nerdlinger who finds himself in the middle of a Terence Hill/Bud Spencer free-for-all, awesome!), and Brock - who has been standing back observing this farce - has had enough and sends in his baby to save the day, Happiny!

One armed, the baby pink Pokémon holds back Gliscor's charge while the twerps look on astonished. Gliscor lands with Piplup in its claws, and Dawn approaches the now stationary Piloswine and tells it that it has to listen. Ash suggests she battle with it against him so that it will HAVE TO listen to her, which also gives HIM a chance to get in some training that he's been sidetracked from.

So it's Grotle against Piloswine, but when Grotle blasts Razor Leaf at Piloswine, it ignores Dawn and takes the shot full in its shaggy face, causing Piplup once again to check under its ear flaps to see if it is having trouble hearing.

Ash doesn't let this stop him though, ordering another Razor Leaf, and Piloswine ignores Dawn again to use Ancient Power instead of Takedown. Dawn is confused, it didn't know Ancient Power BEFORE it changes its entire body, size, complexion, tusks, etc! So how could it possibly know it now!?! While Brock stifles his rage at her stupidity by reminding himself how short her skirt is, Grotle ignores the blast of Ancient Power and Piloswine gets a sniff of something delicious and rushes off leaving the twerps behind.

In the park, Team Rocket have settled down for a rarity - Jesse has cooked them a meal! It's a delicious looking sponge cake (or large round bread, as the case may be) that apparently was all the rage back at the Team Rocket Academy Mess Hall. Jesse says they're going to divide it up by mouthful, but James and Meowth angrily point out that with HER mouth, they won't get a crumb. As she pouts angrily they hear a rumbling and turn to see Piloswine stampeding towards them bellowing. It blasts them with ice and smashes into them, sending them blasting off blameless and early as it settles in to scoff down THEIR meal.

The twerps show up and find it eating the stolen meal and, presumably after finding Piloswine and recalling it to its Pokéball, head to the Pokémon Center Dawn is worried about how she'll be able to handle Piloswine in a contest if she can't even handle it in training. Ash steals her no need to worry line and says she'll soon be "friends" with it again, while at the window Team Rocket peek through, Jesse furious to learn they lost their sponge cake because Dawn couldn't handle her own Pokémon.

You know, she has a legitimate grievance!

So Team Rocket come up with a plan.... and that plan is to draw a poster of them hugging their Pokémon and then dress up like punks!



Slutty punks! Hooray!

The "poster" is "advertising" a service to help trainers get closer to their Pokémon, and Jesse and James embarrass everybody with horribly anachronistic slang before they "23 skidoo" out the door, having made sure that the twerps overheard them. The twerps look over the poster and aren't at all alarmed that it features a man with blue hair, a woman with red hair, a Seviper, a Meowth and a Mime Jr. They decide to try it out, and soon find themselves at a surprisingly quickly put together giant tent. Jesse skips out in an orange and pink outfit, yellow scarf, glasses and mostly tied back hair. The twerps don't recognise her at all, of course, and she leads them inside to show us what Team Rocket managed to put together in a few minutes....

With these skills, why don't they just buy the biggest fucking spongecake in the world?

Jesse tells them that they take their Pokémon through an obstacle course to help them "grow closer", and Ash takes Grotle, Brock takes Croagunk (they hold hands, dawwww!) and Piplup tries to shove Piloswine unsuccessfully until Dawn entices it with a Poffin. They go up the ramp and over balance beams, then jump across floating islands.... or rather Grotle and Croagunk do, Piloswine just walks between the beams and knocks Dawn and Piplup into the pool when it leaps onto one island to get at a poffin.

They leave the tent and travel down a zipline where James is waiting in an incredibly lame disguise (glasses and a sweatband.... that's it. That's all) and tells them to bring out all of the Pokémon to show the troublesome ones what the obedient ones are doing. James then takes them through a series of callisthenics, all of the Pokémon (even Croagunk) going along with the exercises except for Piloswine, as a frustrated Piplup tugs its ears every which way trying to emulate the exercises. James has the trainers move into a white circle and all of the Pokémon into a red circle. In a wonderful moment of pure character we see Piplup trying to shove Piloswine into the circle, the twerps staring up at James, the Pokémon all staring up at James, and Croagunk.... staring off in the other direction entirely! It's not referenced, it's not focused on or pointed out, it just IS!

James leads them in exercises again, including an infuriated looking Croagunk, and then Jesse and Meowth hit a button and drop the twerps into a hole and open the wall behind the Pokémon to bring out a cage and capture them all!

"We've always been cagey, that's nothing new!"
"We always find cagey ways to fool you!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"HOOP DE DOO!" screams Meowth.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Putting you do-gooders in your place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together.

Dawn is infuriated, and demands to know "how did you trick us!?!"

By you being incredibly fucking stupid, that's how!

They try to take off but the weight of the cage holds their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon down, so they kick up the jets and begin to lift. Ash calls for Grotle to use Razor Leaf and Pachirisu tries to help with discharge, zapping all of the Pokémon and landing on Piloswine's back. The discharge shocks it and causes it to ram into the cage roughly, unbalancing the balloon and bringing it down as Jesse furiously declares she is going to start handing out spankings.

Oh my!

She calls out Yanmega to use Sonic Boom on Piloswine, and James has Carnivine (eventually, after trying to swallow his head) use Bullet Seed, and then Yanmega uses Silver wind, and Piloswine's only possible reaction is to... evolve!

AGAIN!

Inside the cage!



OUCH!

It roars as the cage bursts open, freeing the Pokémon, and Brock identifies the newly evolved (again!) Pokémon as Mamoswine!

Yanmega Sonic Boom's Mamoswine's ass, catching its attention (that's one way to do it!) and it blasts Team Rocket with Ice Beam and then charges them, sending them blasting off.... again!

And then it comes for the twerps!

Piplup once again goes into the breach, blasting Mamoswine with Bubble Beam... which doesn't even give it pause! So Piplup blasts it with a massive wall of Whirlpool that.... fails to do anything!

Piplup tries pecking its nose and gets sent flying into the air, and Dawn's only remaining solution is to recall Mamoswine to its Pokéball. She picks up Piplup and thanks it for going the extra mile, hugging it before wondering why neither Piloswine nor Mamoswine would listen to her. Ash tells her there's no need to worry, she'll sort it out.

CHARIZARD YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! TELL HER ABOUT CHARIZARD!

They return to the Pokémon Centre, where Nurse Joy has a message for Ash - Byron, the Gym Leader, has returned! Now Ash can try for his sixth Gym Badge, and his reaction rather perfectly mirrors our own.

YES!

BEST QUOTES

"I know how much you like my poffins" "Behave! Or I'll have to spank you!"

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