ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
510: A Maze-ing Race!	514: Meiro de Shaffuru! Minna de Hassuru!	Beware Cock-blocked Brock's Monster In The Maze!			The twerps get lost in a maze on the way to pick up a useless application for Dawn's PokéTch.	Did they build the maze or not?	Paul is straight up just a bald-faced liar!

Today finds the twerps face to face with the Rolling Stones!

No it's not an ill-thought out cross-over by Mick Jagger to get the younger kids buying his records, but a pre-episode teaser showing a bunch of Golems barrelling down a rocky tunnel straight towards the twerps. They dive aside, and then we see Ash running through a maze, Pikachu trying to keep up but getting cut off by a moving rock with a FABULOUS voice, and then Brock's sex drive manifest itself into a GA-ROARing Onix that smashes through that same maze directly for the short skirted Dawn while an indifferent Croagunk looks on.

What's going on? Why is Pikachu carrying Happiny on its back while Buneary tries to find out if it only likes her or, you know, "likes her" likes her.... we're not sure, but in our desperate scramble to find out, it's going to be an....



Dawn runs through the grass chased by Brock and Ash. But no, Brock hasn't finally snapped and Ash hasn't finally hit puberty, Dawn is just eager to get to the local Pokémon Centre to get a new application for her Pokétch. Ash doesn't know what that is, so Brock has to explain it to him. It's a new... feature.... yeah.

She rushes into the Pokémon Centre and throws her ticket into Nurse Joy's face, one she picked up in the last town. But Joy explains that this is actually a giveaway for a Pokémon Centre on the other side of the forest, and the giveaway ends at 5pm today!

Dawn is heartbroken, but Brock is heart.... not... broken... declaring that there is no end to the giveaways that Nurse Joy has to offer (is he calling her a slut?) and then Croagunk strikes, driving its poison jab directly between Brock's beckoning buttcheeks and... MISSES!

Dawn has hauled Brock out of the way, not out of a desire to protect his anal virginity, but because she wants to get the hell to the other side of the forest. They charge out of the Centre, leaving a confused Croagunk behind before it settles off after them. That leaves nobody in the Centre but Nurse Joy, wandering why the hell she didn't take up the PokéTch people on their offer instead of letting her Centre fall into disuse.

The twerps reach the entrance to a tunnel through a large hill/mountain, and find a blue haired young man, a red haired woman and a small furry little bearded old man. Well this trio surely can't be trouble, so there's no need to be prepared for it! They stop the twerps, telling them they can take a shortcut through the tunnel, though there is a bit of a maze in the middle that they can get through by use of a map the trio just happen to be giving out. Before the twerps can set off on their eager, trusting way though, the mysteriously familiar trio insists on a photograph of them with all of their Pokémon.

Dawn says they're really in a rush but they insist, taking them inside the cave to what looks like a nice limestone cave. The little furry man with the tough Brooklyn accent has the Pokémon all scrunch up together in the middle of the cave. Ash, Brock and Dawn are off to the sides, Dawn acting incredibly bratty insisting that they hurry up. Pikachu joins the other Pokémon in the middle, happily posing for the camera - except for Croagunk which is crouched over and just glaring with pure, utter HATRED at the camera. Directly above them, the blue haired man and red haired woman are holding a cage in place, but before the oddly convoluted plot can be executed, however, rolling Golems interrupt Meowth and send the twerps cheesing it out of the way, Meowth getting run over in the process.

Dawn continues on by herself with the map, separated from the others, but as she walks someone or SOMETHING is zooming its gaze in on her far too short skirt. She senses the gaze creeping lovingly over her exposed underage legs and stops to look behind her, asking if it is Ash (oh come on, it would be Brock for sure!) but all she sees are two creepy yellow eyes appearing out of the darkness, causing her to scream.

Elsewhere in the maze, Ash and Pikachu step out into the light and find themselves through the first part of the tunnel and to the open air maze they were warned about earlier..... and Paul!

PAUL!

Ash rushes up excitedly to call out to his rival, who turns and watches blankly as Ash almost plummets to his death. Ash manages to pull up short as he realises he was fooled by perspective and didn't see the massive gap between the grass and the wall/tower that Paul is standing on. A Fearow flies overhead and Paul prepares to catch it, then grits his teeth in frustration as the clueless Ash calls out to him again, asking if he has seen Brock or Dawn. Paul hasn't and really isn't interested, but Ash starts freaking out, thinking about Dawn and Brock together in the dark places... dark places where dark minds are free to come out into the open, and a young horny man's gross sexual deviancy might be represented by a Ga-ROARing Onix having a go at a little girl in a skirt that is much too short.

He and Pikachu rush off to save their friends, and Paul continues to ignore Ash, turning back to catch the Fearow. But it's too far gone now, so he simply turns and heads away. Meanwhile, Ash's strategy for rescuing Dawn from Brock and Brock from himself take a strange, idiotic twist as he runs AWAY from the tunnel he just came out and deeper into the maze. He gets ahead of Pikachu, and Team Rocket jump down dressed as rocks....

....well, well of course they are....

They've got the real map, and block off routes so that Pikachu gets separated and heads off in a different direction, followed by Team "Rock"et. However they in turn find themselves followed by the rolling Golems from earlier, so they throw up some awful, awful, awful hanging grey sheets that should NOT work as disguises and somehow do. They laugh that they don't make the same mistake twice, James pointing out that they do it millions of times instead, and then they look back down the maze to see what the Golem were running from... an infuriated, massively engorged Onix smashing its way towards them.

They stare at what may be just an angry Onix but MAY also be the physical manifestation of an increasingly desperate virgin's sex drive, and it is the one who has the most to lose from being in the path of this rocky rod that reacts first.



CHEESE IT!

But it's too late; Onix lashes out and sends Team Rocket blasting off again, Jesse complaining that it's only Act One!

Dawn emerges from the tunnel with Croagunk in tow, apparently it was those eyes she saw in the dark creeping her out, peering as it was directly up her skirt. She spots Paul on another tower getting ready to take a shot at the Fearow, and interrupts him to ask if he has seen Ash or Brock. He snaps at her for interrupting him as well and she grumpily stomps off, and then as he prepares to take another shot gets interrupted AGAIN by Brock, who seems unaware his sexual drive has escaped and is wreaking havoc elsewhere in the maze. Paul angrily yells that he hasn't seen Ash and Dawn (HE LIES! Haha, he actually lies! What a jerk!) and stomps off, and Brock tries to figure out how he is going to find them in this maze. Apparently Brock really DOES think with his cock, because with the "Onix" wreaking havoc, he doesn't think that maybe the Staravia with him could fly over the big open maze and look out for Ash and Dawn running around. Luckily for him, Staravia comes up with the idea on his behalf, and sets off as elsewhere in the maze, Pikachu discovers Happiny rolling about on its fat ass while Buneary shouts at it to stop rolling around and get off its.... fat ass.

The two set off in differing directions in a snit, but Pikachu catches up to Happiny and pops it onto its back, then runs up to Buneary and grabs it by the hand, much to the lovestruck little bunny's delight.

Dawn and Croagunk move along elsewhere, Dawn reading the fake map when the rolling Golems come by again. They're soon followed by Onix, smashing its face into the wall and twisting around the corner, engorged and massive, brooking no disagreement, it WILL have what's under that girl's short skirt! Dawn screeches in panic, fearing a squashing and blissfully unaware of the upcoming deflowering that she'll be lucky to live through.... but then, Croagunk to the rescue!



It smashes through the wall with its arm, then smacks Dawn into the little stone vagina it has created as Onix hurtles by, missing the vagina completely... it IS Brock's sex drive made manifest!

Buneary meanwhile is living in heaven, walking hand in hand with Pikachu while Happiny sleeps on Pikachu's back. Ash has gotten lost at a dead end but while back-tracking finds Piplup and Buizel arguing over which way to lead Pachirisu and Sudowoodo. Seeing that things are getting a little antsy, Ash rushes up wildly screaming and yelling in the hopes these loud, barely coherent noises will calm them down. This causes Pachirisu to panic even more and blast them all with an electric discharge... and then the Onix comes barrelling around the corner right towards Ash!

Oh snap, any port in a storm for Brock!

Ash doesn't run though, ordering a Bubble Beam/Water Gun combo from Buizel and Piplup, and Onix gets it right in the face!



Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

Onix retreats and Ash and the Pokémon celebrate, while elsewhere in the maze Dawn and Croagunk spot Staravia. It is leading Brock to where it spotted Pikachu, Happiny and Buneary, sitting atop a little pyramid eating fruit from a tree growing out of the top of it. Dawn and Croagunk arrive and they realise that they're still missing Ash, and when Staravia flies up to find him.... it gets grabbed up by Team Rocket!

Yay, they're back!

"Is that a twerp calling out to implore?"
"I think we should catch who we came for!"
"Pikachu!"
"It's true!"
"Time tah score!"
"We've had such a rough day."
"But... now it's time to play."
"We've paid all our dues by blasting off early!"
"But we're back here again and feeling quite surly!"
"With Jesse!"
"And James too!"
"Meowth, yahoo!"
"Putting the maze-losers in their place!"
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together.
"WOBBBBBB-UFFET!"
"Mime mime-mime!"

They lock up Staravia in a cage before James laughs at Dawn that it is amazing how lame she is (haha, what a jerk!) . They try to grab Pikachu, Happiny and Buneary but they dodge aside, and Jesse tells James not to get his hair in a heap, they'll just come around for another pass.

Dawn and Brock call out for Ash and he hears them.... but he's on the opposite side of a wall and can't reach them. Team Rocket returns and spots the twerps all bunched up on opposite sides of the wall, and use the mechanical hands from their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon to bring down a rockslide that cuts off Ash and the Pokémon from the way they just came. Ash realises that they have to get at Team Rocket's balloon while not hitting Staravia, and gets the Pokémon fired up to work as a team and together they can.... get blasted with a Discharge Attack by Pachirisu?

Team Rocket laugh and sail around for another pass as Ash and the others are left twitching and dying. Brock notes that the walls of the maze are pretty thin, and figures that if they all work together from both sides of the wall they can break though. The twerps hammer at one spot with rocks, then use a combination of moves from their Pokémon to freeze the wall, beat on it some more with Bubble Beam, Water Gun, Brick Break, Swift, Razor Leaf... and then Happiny rushes in clutching a giant rock with one hand and tosses it at the wall.

As they all work (except for Pachirisu, which is "sitting this one out" at Ash's suggestion), Team Rocket swing back around and are delighted to see the twerps efforts, thinking they'll never break through... and then they do!

Team Rocket are horrified, James clutching at his head and demanding to know if their parents ever taught them not to break other people's property!?!

Their parents let them set off at the age of 10 to bum around the countryside cockfighting, James, what do you think?

Jesse tells (well, threatens) Meowth to fly in to deal to them, but as they swing in, they find Pikachu waiting for them atop a hill, having been sent up earlier by Brock. It Iron Tails through Staravia's cage and lands on the bird's back as it flies free, then comes back around and Thunderbolts Team Rocket, sending them blasting off again and crying out,"Looks like the Maze Craze has seen its last days!"

So with the mystery of the maze not solved (Team Rocket didn't REALLY build it, did they?) and the GA-ROARing Onix apparently just going away (I guess Brock sneaked in a quick game of Pocket Ping Pong when the impact of the exploding wall blew Dawn's skirt up), the twerps head on to the Pokémon Centre, getting there before 5pm despite everything and getting the new application for Dawn - coin toss!

Wait... that's it? It flips a coin? That's all the fucking thing does?

They reach a fork in the road and Ash encourages Dawn to use the Coin Toss to decide which way to go, getting tails which tells them to turn left. Brock - however - doesn't think it's too good an idea deciding their navigation by Coin Toss, but Ash and Dawn laugh at him for daring to apply reason to their world and tell him together "no need to worry".

Well no, no need to worry at all, now that Brock's dark id has been suppressed.....

....for now....

BEST QUOTES

"Look suckas, Team Rocket never makes da same mistake twice!" "Why do that when you can make it a million times...."

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