ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
555: A Lean Mean Team Rocket Machine!	560: Genten Kaiki da Roketto-Dan!	The Fittest Fatties			Piplup is exhausted, Team Rocket are fat!	The biggest losers	Losing 100lbs in less than a day is NOT healthy!

With Summer Camp behind the twerps and all of them still virgins, Dawn has gotten back into Contest Training, having Piplup create a Bubble Sculpture as their latest concept to win a new Contest Ribbon. Everyone seems to be fighting fit thanks to burning away all that excess sexual energy generated by camp, and surely that includes Team Rocket too, who by now must be....



Piplup uses Peck to destroy the Bubble Sculpture of itself, but as it lands and the twerps cheer, it suddenly faints! Dawn picks it up and it is struggling to breath, so they decide to get it to a nearby Pokémon Centre to make it feel better.

Speaking of wanting to feel better....



Oh shit, they done got fat!

They're struggling to climb a "near-vertical" hill that is actually just a gentle incline, and have to stop to settle down for a breathing break.... till their belly rumbles and they decide they want to get to the nearest all you can eat buffet! They remember the "good ol' days" at Summer Camp, where they had three square meals a day and Jesse won "most popular girl"! Except all that eating and lounging around has got them fat! James and Meowth picking on Jesse in particular (typical gender bias!), Meowth going so far as to say she's gotten jiggly!

At the Pokémon Centre, Nurse Joy is telling Dawn that Piplup is fine, just exhausted from overdoing things. Dawn realises she has been pushing Piplup too hard but Joy tells her not to be so hard on herself despite the fact that it is entirely her fault and absolutely no one else is to blame but her.

And Team Rocket are getting fatter!

They've gotten so fat that Meowth's lucky charm is starting to sink inside of his head! Meowth is horrified but Jesse just laughs, jiggling and bouncing horribly (usually she bounces so wonderfully!) until a button pops off of her shirt! She stares at it in shock, and James suddenly remembers earlier in the day that sitting down to pull on his boots meant he couldn't see his belt buckle! Realisation suddenly dawns on them all... they've become fatheads! Fatheads! Roly-poly fatheads!

They're horrified, but determined! James tells them to remember the hardcore training exercises they were forced through when joining Team Rocket. Jesse explains that as Team Rocket's "A+ Actress" she could have gotten away with playing a pre-teen (oh dear!) and Meowth retreats into a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy, imagining being stroked under the chin by Giovanni amidst all of the Pokémon he pilfered for him. With fire in her eyes, Jesse tells them it's time to get back to basic training, get back to their roots and fit back into their suits!



Good lord they be fat.

An elderly couple approaches to ask if they can have their seats, and when Team Rocket happily comply they realise the elderly couple think of them as lovely and nice because they've become so fat they've "lost their edges" and they rush out of the restaurant and out of town sobbing and screaming.

Back at the Pokémon Centre Piplup wakes up and Dawn apologises for pushing it so hard and says it deserves better for a partner. It squeaks its insistence that she's a-ok (it's like 2 foot tall and gets to stand underneath her skirt) and she hugs it, and it passes out again, still exhausted. Dawn leaves the room and finds Ash standing by a videophone, and when she spots Professor Oak she eagerly exclaims,"IT'S THE POETRY MAN!"

Ash says his Daddy was just giving him some advice about the best way to use Gliscor, making use not of its size but its agility, and invites Dawn to listen in. Professor Oak offers advice through the use of rhyme to actually make proper use of the Pokémon Centre after the last ten years of completely neglecting it and actually ask the other trainers around for advice on what THEY do to train their Pokémon.

While Dawn tries this....



Team Rocket are working the fat off of their asses!

Later that night in the Pokémon Centre, Brock, Ash and their Pokémon (including Dawn's) are doing the dishes. Ash struggling with the intellectual strenuous activity while Croagunk stares fascinated at its own reflection, Swinub is kept from the food, and Pachirisu and Gliscor sleep waiting to be fed and Buizel is in the middle of being very, very proud.

Ash begs Brock to make him food but Brock is too busy trying to curry favour with the overworked Nurse Joy on the off chance she might give him a desultory, uninterested handjob or just hold his goddamn hand as they run giggling down the beach. The fantasy alone is enough to warrant him an asspunch from Croagunk, which won't even give him THIS happiness. But while he is denied happiness, Team Rocket have theirs - they've already lost the weight! They're wearing their old style costumes, have a Team Rocket Car and are planning to burgle the Pokémon Centre!

Not only did all that working out drop an unhealthy amount of fat unhealthily quickly, but their restored confidence lends them skills they haven't had since the second episode of Pokémon! James' rose acts as a skeleton key to get them into the room where the Pokéballs are kept, while Meowth leads Jesse and James' Pokémon to each room and steals Pokéballs from the sleeping trainers, jamming the Pokéballs into Carnivine's mouth.... but they go too far and the Pokéballs fall out, awakening Piplup just in time to see a horrifying sight, the stuff nightmares are made of!

Meowth insists they're not stealing Pokéballs no matter what it looks like, at which point Pokéballs spill out of Carnivine's mouth. Piplup squeaks at the top of its little voice waking everyone up, and Meowth and the Pokémon cheese it outside where Jesse and James are waiting. Dawn runs down to the lobby (having taken the time to get dressed!) with Ash and Brock and finds Piplup, and they learn that all of the Pokéballs have been stolen. They rush outside where Jesse and James have just kind of been hanging out not doing anything, and when they spot the twerps they leap out of their new Team Rocket uniforms and into.... their old.... Team Rocket.... uniforms.

Still if you had bodies like they have (again!) you would too!

"Prepare for trouble and a blast from the past!"
"And make it double, aren't the oldies a gas!?"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight and fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"

THAT'S THE OLD MOTTO! WITH THE OLD MUSIC! AWESOME!

Dawn is confused by the different motto, while Team Rocket are revelling in the nostalgia and Ash is just pissed off. They call out Yanmega and Carnivine, kicking up dust and a Sonic Boom that actually stops Pikachu's Thunderbolt! Meowth hits a button and their car turns into.... a.... their car turns into a robot!



This has been one bizarre fucking episode.

James claims the robot was modelled after his body (!) and Team Rocket's "Team Rocket's Rocket!" theme song plays in an amazing moment as they start smashing robotic fists into the ground and then blast lasers at the kids and.... scare them with their headlights on full-beam and do pirouettes.

Well.... okay then!

Piplup insists it will fight them though and uses Whirlpool which.... the Rocket-Robot punches out of the sky like it ain't nothing but a thing. So Piplup creates a giant ball of bubbles to block their windscreen while Pikachu uses Iron Tail to knock lose the container of Pokéballs for Happiny to catch.

Team Rocket clear their view in time to see a Thunderbolt coming, which makes Jesse and James laugh and mock while Meowth looks miserable, the only one to realise that the Pokéballs are gone.... and Meowth forgot to make the Robot Electric-Proof! Meowth explains that since they were told to "go back to basics" he made their robot just like their first one... which had no protection against electricity!

Jesse is furious at Meowth AND James (who is appreciative of Meowth's attention to detail!) as they REALLY get back to basics and are blasted off again, giving the twerps victory and the thanks of Nurse Joy as they head off once again back on track on their journey.

But none of that is what is REALLY important, Gentle Dodgers, we all know the really important thing to come out of this episode.



Jesse got her ass back!

BEST QUOTES

"Jealous? Your peaches and cream skin now seems to be nothing more than peach-pits and milk!" "I'm harking back to when we aspired to Team Rocket greatness!" "When ambition was the order of the day!" "And da order didn't include fries!"

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