ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
553: Ghoul Daze!	558: Hokago ha Gosuto Taimu!?	PokéMeatballs III			Summer Camp turns into a Slasher-Flick!	The wrong team member gets naked	Don't send kids up at night to the entrance to hell you just unearthed

Summer Camp!

Summer Camp continues for the twerps, their Team Red still behind the other teams in points. Everyone knows how these things go though, they'll do some big epic thing at the very end of camp that'll blow everyone away and show those stuck up rich-kids that being Working Class makes you a great person! And in the meantime, everyone is concentrating on what summer camp hijinks are really all about.

Trying to get laid!



They've reached Day Five, and the current team rankings stand at Team Blue: 230, Team Red: 190, and Team Green: 150. Professor Rowan sternly announces over the intercom that today will teach the twerps to deal with Ghost-Type Pokémon. Their instructor explains that this requires people to pair up (probably as boy/girl) and go up into some spooky ruins at night where they're likely to be forced into close physical proximity while feeling emotionally fragile!

So Angie, of course, asks Ash if he wants to be her partner.... because Shinx and Pikachu get along well! You see! That's why!

Clueless Ash agrees happily enough, while Brock is approached by a young boy named Mitchell who is wrestling with his deeply repressed homosexuality, asking Brock if he'll be his.... partner.... because he's scared of the dark! Dawn is horrified to discover her "boys" have already got "dates", but as she wonders who her partner is going to be she senses something behind her, something.... gross....

Conway?

No! Kendall!

The muscle-bound young man flexes his biceps and even wiggles his pecs at her! He declares his biceps are to protect her and his pecs to "stop her" when she gets scared and tries to run away, announcing his intention to be her partner. She looks about in a panic but there is no one else to partner with, so with a sigh she agrees that she might as well go along with it.

Those are the words every young man longs to hear!

Meanwhile, Conway is walking about elsewhere considering that he had better find a partner, oddly enough having not instantly crept up on Dawn to sniff her hair. As he walks though, he hears a giggle and turns to see a pale white hand enticing him towards her. Like any horny refugee from the future, he's immediately taken in and moves forward, discovering a small girl in the bushes, head lowered into shadows and eyes glowing as she whispers for him to play..... let's play..... together!

This episode directed by Stanley Kubrick.

Meanwhile, Jesse is twirling her breast-like parasol and playing her horny young followers off against each other. All want to be her "protector", but only one can be, and since the one with the glasses is probably smart, she picks him, much to his delight and the others resentment. She then heads around to find James and Meowth hard at work and tells them that they're going to rig things so she wins. They complain they can't build a robot without money, but she insists that with just a little nip and tuck, Meowth will look just like a Ghost Pokémon..... lucky ol' Meowth.

At 7 that night, Team Red is lined up at their starting point. Ash and Angie are first and head out into the darkness, Ash commenting that something about this forest path at night that leads to spooky ruins populated by Ghost Pokémon is.... creepy. Angie tells Ash that she will protect him if he gets scared, and he offers the same back. Just then a Haunter grabs Shinx's tail and terrifies it, so Pikachu zaps it. Ash and Angie discover three Ghost Pokémon huddled up together in fright and Ash tells Pikachu not to be so quick to attack next time, and they move on (aren't they supposed to study the Ghost Types?), leaving the oddly frightened ghosts behind. Next out is Brock and Mitchell, while Dawn discovers that the muscle-bound Kendall is starting to quiver.

At the Blue Team Starting point, the last of the Blue Teams leave, but then a young girl comes running up horrified that she slept in (it's 7pm!) and missed out.... but all the teams were complete? So somehow there is an extra student!?!

As this problem presents itself, Brock is offering candy to strangers! Mitchell is terrified when the three Ghosts attempt to menace them, but Brock has made food specifically FOR ghosts!

Is it... is it dust?

With the Ghosts dealt with, Mitchell and Brock continue on, while Dawn discovers the joys of having a "great protector" with her who... well he ain't so great. They hear the sound of eating and Dawn turns her flashlight on the three Pokémon eating the food Brock gave them. Kendall is convinced that they're eating people and he's next, and he cheeses it the fuck out of there so they'll eat (or worse!) the little girl in the short skirt. She watches him go, confused, and the Ghost Pokémon don't seem too particularly pleased either, and then she spots Conway off in the distance, moving along another path seemingly by himself. He moves along, following the creepy little girl only he can see, and she leads him..... oh my!

Yep it's outright murder on her mind, and Conway walks right over the edge of the cliff towards her, but is saved at the last second from a fate worse than death.... well actually, the fate WAS death, so... well.... scratch that. The massive hand of a Dusknoir grabs his wrist and pulls him to safety, scaring away the frustrated young girl floating in the air. Just then Dawn arrives and mistakes the Cyclopean monstrosity that is Dusknoir for the aggressor, demanding to know what it did to Conway. It waves its arms in denial then disappears, just as Conway wakes up, explaining that Dusknoir is a guide to the Spirit World. They misunderstand this and assume it was trying to kill him, and when Conway tells Dawn that he was partnered with a girl, they both screw up again and assume that Dusknoir "took her to the spirit world".

You know, flat out murdered her.

Meanwhile Meowth is.... in the worst fucking ghost costume ever.



Spotting Ash and Angie coming, he tries to zip shut the mouth and ends up catching his lip instead. Struggling about on his back to try and pull it clear, Ash and Angie walk on by commenting that they thought they heard a noise. Meowth continues to struggle, and then the zip is popped open by a real ghost.... and several more besides! He cheeses it in fright, zooming down the hill so fast he trips and tears the costume clear off (that never happens to Jesse!), landing squarely on his butt and sensing something odd.... that little girl is back, and she's offering him food on a stick! He tries to take a bite but she pulls back and giggles at him to follow her, which he's entirely willing to do until Dusknoir appears behind Meowth and scares her off. Meowth is furious with Dusknoir for costing him food until he realises holy shit that's a Dusknoir! He faints in horror with a bloodcurdling scream which Jesse hears, and she and her nerd companion find Meowth collapsed on the ground. She rushes over to him and tries to bring him about, hearing him babbling about Dusknoir but not understanding until it actually shows up beside her. She runs away screaming to the nerd to grab Meowth and she'll pull them both along behind her in her wake!



Jesse and her nerd zoom by Brock and Mitchell, and then Dusknoir looms over them. Mitchell is scared but Brock happily offers it some food, offending it due to its lack of a stomach or ability to eat food, and it blasts ghost fire at them before turning to see the ghostly girl watching it.

Ash and Angie have almost reached the summit when a Misdreavus appears before them and screeches, and they both leg it until they get tired, and then mock the other for wimping out. Before they can get into a full blown argument that ends with making out and rolling around on the ground, they realise that they're lost now. Looking around, the ghostly girl appears before them, beckoning them on and telling them the way to go, and since she's a creepy girl they're never seen before in a sun dress in the middle of the night they happily comply.

Back at the School, Professor Rowan is sternly confused as all of the little chickenshi.... scared young kids have returned and told of encounters with Dusknoir. Rowan keeps track of Pokémon in the area and there is no record of a Dusknoir, but he recalls a recent accident at the ruins that revealed a cave behind a stone wall that some say is the legendary entrance to the Spirit World.

And you.... you fucking sent kids up there at night!?!

Ash and Angie follow the ghostly girl to the summit height where they find the medal that marks successful completion of the task.... and no one else has gotten there yet! They're the first! Ash grabs his up and does his stock "Gym Badge Victory" pose, impressing Angie who isn't used to this type of thing, so he asks her if she'd like to do it.... together!

But while celebrating their non-sexual intercourse, they notice the little girl by the cave, waving to them and telling them to come with her. They ask if there is something in there and she nods, calling them to follow her, but before they can Dusknoir arrives and blocks them off. It looms over the ghostly girl and Angie and Ash foolishly think it is attacking her and send Shinx and Pikachu in to fight it. It slams them down with Psychic and then does the same to Ash and Angie, but this frees up Pikachu and Shinx which successfully attack and take down Dusknoir.... and the ghostly girl smirks.

She tells them to "play now" and Ash tells her this isn't the time to play, but she keeps insisting, the cave glowing bright with energy behind her and dragging them in. Angie is lifted off of her feet and Ash has to grab her wrist, struggling to hold onto her as she's dragged towards the Spirit World, the only thing that can save them... knocked out BY them!



The little girls' cute little voice is getting raspier and thicker now, while Angie tells Ash to let her go or he'll be pulled in with her.... but he says he'll never let go, even if it means forever!

Oh man, he is so getting anal if they survive this.

Rowan arrives with the kids in tow, and prevents Dawn and Brock from rushing in there and getting sucked in as well. Dusknoir recovers and gets in-between Ash and Angie and the cave, then blasts the little girl with a huge burst of energy that slams her back into the cave, tearing her into a formless blob of horror that dissipates into nothingness.

Thank GOD they didn't pussy out by turning her into a cheeky Ghastly or anything, she was either an evil little dead girl or some lovecraftian eldritch horror given human form, awesome.

The cave has collapsed in on itself following the blast, and the twerps thank Dusknoir for saving them as it fades away, while Professor Rowan sternly considers just how the hell to avoid getting his ass sued for so recklessly and negligently putting his students at risk. Apparently his answer, as shown the next morning before the assembled students, is to give each team 30 points, effectively nullifying the entire event and causing Jesse to grumble about such communal nonsense. Ash tries to egg on his fellow team members to make a big push to get past Conway's team, while Rowan is probably hoping they'll forget long enough for him to slip waivers into their Summer Camp Satisfaction Survey on the last day.

And so with only a day of Summer Camp left, Ash's team is only just trailing Conway's, Jesse and her besotted followers are coming last.... and Angie is totally getting ready to give it all up to some dim kid bumming around the countryside who has spent more time in school the last four days than he has in the previous 10 years.

Her parents would be so proud!

BEST QUOTES

"What kind of communal drivel is that!?!"

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