ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
544: Chim-Charred!	549: Shakunetsu no Hikozaru!	BBQ Monkey vs Rape Bear			Ash battles Paul and his monkey gets set on fire	Blasted off twice and they didn't do anything to deserve it!	Don't hug a burning monkey... or do...? One of the two anyway...

Today's episode begins with Ash working his troops into a lather. He's chosen Turtwig, Pikachu and Buizel to be the three Pokémon he uses at Pastoria Gym, and wants to train them against Piplup, Staravia and Chimchar to get them ready.

Dawn is acting as the latter three's trainer for Ash, who orders counters to the moves being blasted at him, a full on rumble getting going with some impressive looking battling going on. Everyone is worked up now, but they need to keep that level of intensity for when they get to Pastoria, or else they'll burn out! They'll be...



Ash congratulates his Pokémon for their training, while Gligar goes fucking nuts trying to contain itself until it can't any longer and humps wildly into Ash's face. Brock thinks it wants to battle, but Ash tells it that it needs more experience first. This causes its eyes to go over all wobbly until Ash tells it that he'll get it that experience by having lots of battles. Brock offers to be the first in line, and as Gligar excitedly knocks over Ash and humps his face again, the others prepare for the battle.

While this is getting started, Team Rocket float overhead in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, Jesse exhausted by the twerps constant practise and their own constant attempts to capture the twerps' Pokémon. Suddenly a massive gust of wind bursts up out of nowhere and blows Gligar away, Ash calling for Staravia to get after it. Gligar crashes into the balloon and grips onto it firmly with its claws, and a terrified Team Rocket realise that if it lets go, they'll be blasted off! It does just that, scrabbling backwards and plummeting through the air as Team Rocket are sent packing far, far earlier than they should. Gligar screams and thrashes as it falls towards the earth below, where WHO should be attempting to catch a Pokémon (Drapion) but Paul! His battle is interrupted by Gligar's screams and he looks up to see it crashing straight towards him - a familiar sight to Ash each time before his mouth violated. Paul isn't quite so foolish though, his reaction to the potentially fatal fall of the Pokémon coming towards him is.... to calmly step out of the way and let it crash! What a jerk!

The Drapion digs away into the rock but Paul grunts to Electabuzz not to worry, it's not their problem. As they stare at the crying, depressed Gligar, Staravia spots it and warns the twerps, who find it cowering from an irritated Paul. It rushes to Ash's side to hug him, while Chimchar hides in fright from its former master. Ash asks Paul if he had his Pastoria Gym Battle yet and he grunts that a "losing Coordinator" shouldn't be bothered with whether he's had a Gym Battle or not. Ash is confused, till Paul tells him that he saw the Wallace Cup (and more specifically, Ash losing), but Ash proudly explains that Wallace asked him personally to take part, and he saw it as a good chance to improve Buizel's battling skills. Paul actually laughs.... well, kind of coughs with contempt really.... and then does something that almost no one has ever done before, points out Ash's blatant hypocrisy! He notes that Ash gave him a hard time for entering the Hearthome Tag Battle just to improve his own Pokémon’s battling skills, but now Ash has done exactly the same thing with Buizel! Ash's reaction to getting fucking owned is predictable, he becomes enraged and looks ready to fight, then yells at Paul that in the Tag Battle he was thinking of winning while Paul was only thinking of powering up his Pokémon. Paul responds that the difference is that HE won the Tag Battle while Ash lost the Wallace Cup. This is absolutely correct so long as you neglect to remember that it was actually Ash who won the tag battle for them after Paul got what he wanted and tried to walk out on it. Ash isn't smart enough to make this retort though, and instead just stands gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, wanting to throw down on the asshole.

Meanwhile.... Jesse's ass!



Hooray!

Following a blatant, amazingly Gratuitous Ass Shot (the GAS is back!), we find Team Rocket trudging through the forest following their crash landing. Jesse actually threatens to physically beat Gligar with her fists when she next sees it, but then they spot Paul and Ash's stand-off and hunker down to watch.

Ash is laying a verbal smackdown on Paul, actually using his words for a change and turning Paul's own words against him, pointing out that he's actually FOLLOWING Paul's advice to do everything he can to make himself stronger. Paul actually seems off-balance for a moment, but when Ash tells him that he decided being stronger meant trusting in his friends, he smirks it off. Ash asks if what Cynthia told them meant anything to him, and he replies "that isn't my thing" before deciding he is wasting his time, recalling Electabuzz and walking away. Ash demand he come back and face him in a battle, but Paul isn't interested... at least not until an angry Chimchar rushes out and angrily calls him out. Paul turns back and decides to have a go after all, suggesting a three on three battle while Team Rocket settle in to watch.

Dawn insists that her useless PokéTch App is actually worthwhile and does a cointoss to decide who starts, and it comes up Heads giving Ash the first start. Gligar is desperate to start the battle, and Ash decides that the best choice to show up Paul is to send out his untrained, unbattle-tested slightly concussed Gligar, and Paul responds with... Gliscor!



Oh fuck!

Yes it's Gligar's old Boss, and Gligar freaks out until Ash offers it encouragement. They kick off with an X-Scissor, but Gliscor uses Knockoff to POUND GLIGAR'S HEAD INTO THE FUCKING GROUND! It crashes down and goes all wobbly eyed until Ash gets it back into the action, having it use a Sand Attack to obscure Gliscor's vision.... not that Gliscor cares, it just leaps out of the sand and prepares a Guillotine Attack. Ash shouts for a Steel Wing, but as it leaps up, Gliscor catches it around the throat with a claw and slams it into the ground, knocking it out with a single shot (which is what Guillotine does, according to Brock).

Team Rocket are impressed, while Ash is just concerned with assuaging Gligar's depression, telling it that this was its first battle after all. Paul comments that now might be a good time to tell it that a loss is the trainer's fault, pissing off Chimchar. Paul sends out his next Pokémon, a sexually enraged Ursaring, but Chimchar is determined to throw down on Paul and teach him a goddamn lesson, even if it has to risk its little monkey butthole in the process!

Paul mutters that this is interesting, and Chimchar opens with Flamethrower, blasting into Ursaring which just takes it full-force, then tosses a Focus Blast right back at Chimchar. Chimchar throws its hands up and gets pushed back, but takes the full force of the blast and comes out still standing. Ash is impressed and has it use Dig, but Paul is prepared and orders Ursaring to smash Hammer Arm into the ground, and it does so with impressive results!

Chimchar is smashed out of the ground into the air, and Ash orders a Flame Wheel, but the sexually frustrated Ursaring just reaches out and catches it, holding the flames in its hands. Ash tells Chimchar to use Scratch but Paul orders Secret Power instead, blasting a burst of pink energy over Chimchar and then.... HEADBUTTING IT!

Chimchar staggers back and then freaks out, not listening to Ash's commands. Dawn doesn't understand, but Brock explains it's flinching from fear, a result of Secret Power being used in rocky terrain. Paul smirks that maybe it isn't Secret Power causing it to flinch, and Ash shouts to it that it has to fight through this.... but every time it looks at Ursaring it sees a giant roaring demonic monstrosity (that wants to fuck it), so it simply cowers as Ursaring brings down a massive overhead swinging Hammer Arm.... RIGHT INTO IT'S HEAD!

Rocks crash down over Chimchar like a cairn, and Ash stammers out Chimchar's name as Paul smirks that it's over.... that's that.

.....

......


.......



.........



LIKE FUCK IT IS!

This is one pissed off monkey, and now it is going to be the one doing the raping! It screams in rage, flames blazing out from it in all directions. Brock says this is Blaze, a special ability of Chimchar's, but Ash says it doesn't look like any blaze he has seen. Paul has, though, the first time they met. Gligar stares in amazement, while Dawn remembers that Paul could never get Chimchar to do this. Brock explains, it's getting support, friendship, and people have its best interests at heart.... and those best interests are KILLING THAT URSARING!

It screams through the air with Flame Wheel, and Paul tries to counter with Focus Blast, but Chimchar smashes straight through it and right into Ursaring's chin, knocking it THE FUCK OUT! Paul recalls Ursaring and says this is the most powerful Flamewheel he has ever seen.... but Chimchar isn't stopping! Ash tries to calm it down but it refuses to listen, even blasting in a Flamewheel at him, then Paul, then ramming into Team Rocket and sending them blasting off again!

They didn't even do anything!

The forest catches on fire and the twerps have their Pokémon put it out, then they all try to block off the still screaming Chimchar, which refuses to calm down.... so Ash decides to do something stupid and hug the screaming, on fire monkey!

He begs it to stop and it bites into his shoulder, Brock holding back Dawn and telling her that Ash will handle it (Brock ain't dumb, he don't want that monkey to bite him!) while Pikachu holds back the other Pokémon. Paul watches blank-faced as Ash screams at Chimchar that it won already, stop! And finally it gets through, and Chimchar powers down, looking scared again. Ash hugs it as Paul steps up and asks if he really thinks he can control Chimchar's power, and when he says he doesn't know but means to find out, Paul grunts that once he figures out how to control it, THEN they can battle again. He leaves, while Ash lifts up Chimchar and laughs that together they'll win the whole Sinnoh League!

Well that or burn it, BURN IT ALL!

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