ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
538: Our Cup Runneth Over!	543: Kontesuto Masuta, Mikuri Tojo!	Contests: A Return to Dawn			The twerps meet Contest Master Wallace, Dawn and Jesse get quivery thighs	Putting beanies on snakes	Attractive young men do wonders for a girl's confidence

Today finds the twerps watching television, it's.... SINNOH NOW! The host - Rhonda - is reporting that Contest Master Wallace from the Hoenn Region has come to Sinnoh after rising to the level of Champion Master and then Top Contest Coordinator. He is a Contest Master, the pride and envy of all Pokémon Coordinators, and to celebrate the arrival of him and his Milotic in Sinnoh, a competition has been announced.... The Wallace Cup!

Oh my, Hoenn Region? Coordinators? Contests? I have a feeling that pretty soon....



Dawn is watching in a Pokémon Centre surrounded by her Pokémon while she grooms Pachirisu. The Wallace Cup will take place on Lake Valor and they're now accepting entrants. Dawn can't believe Wallace is so close, and actually seems to be really excited by contests for the first time in a long time. She steps up to the window and watches as Ash trains his Pokémon; Pikachu and Buizel's Iron Tails clashing and spinning them both around. Ash, as usual, needs no help in being super-excited for his next Gym Battle, and Brock notices that Pikachu has picked up some of Show's Raichu's moves. Ash says he still hasn't decided the exact make-up of the team to take on the Pastoria Gym, but Gligar wants in.

Dawn steps up and watches Ash, thinking to herself how incredible he is (Oh my!), although maybe it's more because she's impressed by the way he's taken moves that SHE created and perfected them. Brock notices Dawn getting into her training and Ash shouts encouragement to her, and she turns around and lets Buneary and Pachirisu stare up her skirt. She tells her Pokémon that she knows they've been worried about her recently but that's behind her now, and it's time for some proper hardcore training! With MORE POWWWWWWEEERRR!

The result is impressive, but Dawn remembers Zoey's words about not letting the flash and glamour of moves overtake a show and tries to bring a stop to the Whirlwind/Discharge/Swift Combination lighting up the sky.... and gets blasted by all of them! And then Buneary lands on her head!

She manages to mumble to Ash and Brock that she'd like to say no need to worry, but she doesn't feel too good.... and then her hair explodes out from under her hat. She admits that she got wrapped up in making things too flashy and then remembered what Zoey said, and Ash and Brock tell her that as long as she is making her Pokémon as appealing as possible then she is doing the right thing. She tells them that she knows this, but everytime she starts up an Appeal she ends up snapping and trying to go all out.

Just then, Nurse Joy calls out to the twerps and approaches with the familiar Sinnoh Now! film crew. Brock rushes up to Joy to take her by the hand before getting his back snapped in two and dragged away by Croagunk. Ash remembers Rhonda's name (he remembers something!) but she doesn't seem to remember him, brushing him off before asking the "kid" if he has seen Contest Master Wallace about. Dawn freaks out, Wallace is HERE!?!

Her hair actually sparkles while Brock demands to know just what this guy looks like, and Dawn can't believe he hasn't heard of him. She blushes and her face goes gooey as she and Rhonda talk about the man that every Coordinator aspires to be (also to be the one lifted up on a white stallion by him and ridden away to live in a Palace). Rhonda explains that today is Wallace's day off and his staff refuse to tell her where he is, but she means to find him. And while she means to do that, her poor boom mic operator just wants to rest his poor, fat tired arms. Finally she turns to walk away and he inevitably drops the mic onto her head, causing the usual tirade of abuse at the astonishingly fat fuck.

Ash, completely clueless as to the fact he has a potential rival to Dawn's remote possibility of affections, eagerly agrees to help her find Wallace, and they all set off, Dawn's mind filled with girlish fantasies of romance and chivalry. Such is the way of youth however, put a few years on her and she'll soon have some sense and....



Or maybe not.

Yes Jesse is also excited, so excited that she's wiggling her hips! She declares that she means to enter the Wallace Cup and win it in tribute to her recently departed (not dead!) Dustox. Her strategy is to find Wallace before the twerps and charm the pants off of him (not like that!), just like she did when she won her last Contest. James and Meowth murmur amongst themselves that she only won last time because she was so cool and relaxed that she didn't fuck things up for herself like she normally does, but when their gleeful Bitch Goddess Queen asks what they're talking about, they're wise enough not to say.

The twerps move through the forest in search of Wallace and Piplup gets a sniff of something, pointing to a fog amongst the trees. The twerps enter it and discover Milotic sitting in a small lake humming/singing something. Looking off to the side, Dawn discovers Wallace sitting on a rock looking windswept and interesting, lean and non-threatening in a thigh-loosening kind of way.

Brock must REALLY hate him.

He explains that since he arrived in Sinnoh he hasn't had a chance to just stop and relax. News conferences, magazines, television shows, even at his hotel fans are constantly milling about screaming out for him and trying to get his attention. So he begged his staff to give him some quality alone time with Milotic (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), which is currently swimming through the water giving some of the twerps' Pokémon a ride. Dawn apologises for interrupting his alone time and promises not to tell anyone where he is, but as she moves to go, Ash blurts out that Dawn will be taking part in the Wallace Cup and so he'll be sure to see her again. Wallace seems bemused but friendly, and asks if she would show him some of her Coordinator moves, and Dawn looks freaked out (and probably ready to kill Ash once she gets him away) but Ash continues happily, obliviously on, offering to battle Dawn so she can show off her stuff.

Dude, why do you think she wears that short skirt?

Piplup seems proud and determined to take part, and Dawn finally agrees as they head off, leaving behind Team Rocket peeking out from the bushes.

Dawn seems breathless, saying she's never been so nervous, while the oblivious Ash calls out Buizel and Brock tells Wallace about the trade that they did. It's Piplup versus Buizel, Bubble Beam versus Sonic Boom, Water Gun dodged by a Spin followed by a Peck, Wallace's eyes widening. Buizel blocks the Peck and blasts in AquaJet, soaring into the air as Wallace gasps in delight, and Piplup fires up Whirlpool, creating a very picturesque scene indeed.

The two Pokémon land amongst shimmering drops of water and Wallace claps and asks if they should end this here. They both agree, and return to the rock where they met Wallace initially and he offers his advice, suggesting Buizel's unique battling style is a result of Dawn teaching it Contest Moves initially, so Ash should enter the Contest alongside Buizel. After Dawn encourages him, pointing out that she trained Buizel but never got a chance to use it in a Contest, Ash agrees. Then Wallace turns his critique onto Dawn, telling her that she uses moves flawlessly and obviously does her research, but that isn't enough, she should be thinking about her Pokémon’s basic nature. Don't be dramatic, follow their nature, go basic if you have to.... play with your goddamn Pokémon!

And then Jesselina shows up! And.... uhh... things get weird.



Yep, she just dressed her Seviper up as a Milotic.

Wallace mumbles that he's flattered but she might want to remove that before the contest starts. She zips up beside him, trails her finger over his chest and tells him she'll be entering the Wallace Cup too, so he can blow her..... kisses..... and chant her name,"Jesselina Jesselina JESSELINAJESSELINAJESSLINA!"

James and Meowth zoom in (disguised as well-dressed gentlemen) and wrestle her away, Jesse fighting the entire time.



"BACK IN DA BOX, LADY!" shouts Meowth, shoving his paws over her crotch.

Oh like you wouldn't.

Wallace dramatically tosses his cape over his shoulder and leaps onto the rock, and then offers to give all of them (Team Rocket included) a demonstration.... and what a demonstration! Milotic emerges from the water, suffusing the air with glowing light before twisting out of the water and spreading drops of water all about it before gliding around the twerps and Team Rocket, then spiralling water about it into a twisting column of water that fades to leave Milotic floating serenely above the water.

Jesse is enthralled; she wants to use Aqua Rain too! But Seviper can't do it, even though it's dressed up like Milotic, so Jesse grunts that he's a meany-pants and he leaps dramatically off of a rock and disappears on Milotic behind a wave of water, leaving them all amazed.... and Jesse convinced that she's now got Wallace firmly in her cheering squad! She laughs at Dawn, saying the twerps luck might hold out and get her past the first round this time, and then Team Rocket head away, leaving the twerps none the wiser who they really are.

And watching from the bushes is Rhonda, who has been filming all of this with her camera crew and is ecstatic that she captured such a poignant moment on film.... until her cameraman finally admits what he must have known for hours by now, his camera battery is dead! Furious, Rhonda goes on a rant and ends up bopping her own head on the boom mic and knocking herself out.

The cameraman MIGHT just have batteries after all now that the celebrity reporter is unconscious in the middle of the forest.... but we'll leave that scandal for another day!

That night at the Pokémon Centre, Wallace is being interviewed on television as the twerps watch and Dawn says she's going to do her best to do her best by her Pokémon, and Brock suggests that the best start will be to relax. Just then Nurse Joy steps up and asks Ash to make a call to the Pokémon Centre at Snowpoint City, Sinnoh's northern-most city, as he's had a message left for him. He makes the call, and in Snowpoint the Nurse Joy there steps up to a girl sitting in a chair and tells her that there's a call for her from Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town. She stands up and smiles, saying she'll take the call right now.

And who is she?



Oh..... SHIIIIIIIT!

BEST QUOTES

"Ash is so incredible!"

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