ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
533: The Bells Are Singing!	538: Shanto Shite Rishan!	Chingling: The Yoko Ono Pokémon			The twerps meet a lousy magician with no pants	Breaking up over musical differences!	Wearing stockings in the forest is a terrible idea

Today finds the twerps back on the road, now heading for Pastoria City after Ash successfully gained his third Gym Badge. While Dawn and Brock prepare for a picnic, Ash is training Gligar, having it glide on the currents and follow orders. Unfortunately for Ash, its spirit is willing but brain is dumb, as the lightly retarded little Bat Pokémon can't tell the difference between left and right and ends up panicking and scrabbling through the air. Luckily this is just a cartoon, so a crash won't cause injury, just little ringing bells around its head or singing birds. Or maybe, just to shake things up a little, this time....



With that clumsy segue out of the way, we return to the show where Gligar luckily lands on its head, thus doing no damage at all. It grins with its tongue sticking out while Dawn (who hugged Buneary in terror thinking that Gligar would land on it) snaps at Ash that this was dangerous. He then spots she is reading a magazine again (more than one a year? Ash can't handle that!), one called Pokémon Chic. Apparently the latest thing is to dress up Pokémon in little clothes, and the magazine shows such things as a Croagunk with a parasol and a Pikachu in a vest (Buneary particularly likes that one, but Pikachu is less than enthusiastic). Dawn shows them the little vest she has made for Buneary.... but after Ash congratulates her on it she reveals it was actually her mother who made it, she just designed it. She puts the vest onto Buneary and it blushes when it sees Pikachu looking at it, then gets confused by a noise it hears and turns to look at the bushes, from which appears....



What the fuck is that thing supposed to be?

Apparently its name is as offensive at its appearance, it's called Chingling. It's a little Pacman looking motherfucker with bizarre striped arm-hands jutting out of its head and holes in its cheeks. It bounces up to first Buneary and then Pikachu, then Ash and Dawn, slapping its head-arms around their necks and spinning around in delight. Gligar decides this is the perfect time to rape Ash as they're all distracted, and proceeds to attempt jut that as a horrified Brock, Happiny and Pikachu look on.

Ash returns Gligar to its Pokéball, and then a green haired young lady in a red tophat, ringmaster coat and no pants shows up dragging a suitcase on wheels behind her. Brock is instantly enamoured with her stockinged legs and rushes up to say hello, before the inevitable asspoke and drag by Croagunk takes him out of the picture. Dawn congratulates her on having such a cute Chingling, but apparently it's also a little spoiled and TOO happy. She reveals she is a Pokémon Magician (who looks better in no pants than Seymour ever did) and soon puts on a performance for them, setting up a table and throwing a sheet over it, revealing first one Chingling, then 2, then 3! They sing in harmony, and then Francesca pulls a Pidgey out of her hat! She then makes a rod elongate (Brock knows all about that) until the original Chingling with a green ribbon around it's arm-head gets overexcited and tries to hug her, spoiling the act. She explains that the too happy Chingling is always leaping into her arms in the middle of their act.

As they discuss this, Team Rocket are watching from a distance, Meowth impressed with the act until he and James are left horrified when Jesse COMPLETELY misses the point and declares that the obviously magical tablecloth is the REAL act, so they're going to steal it!

James and Meowth's reaction is fairly understandable. As Jesse prattles on about being a grown woman who somehow never heard about an enchanted tablecloth, James and Meowth just stare, terrified of their Bitch Goddess Queen but having to reveal the truth to her. Still, Meowth DOES have an idea, a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy of an idea! As is frequent in such cases, this one involves Giovanni in bed, as Meowth imagines the Chinglings acting as an alarm clock for him, waking him up with their harmony. They do the same at lunch time, Fantasy Giovanni proclaiming that nothing goes with a good meal quite like a "tree part harmony!"

Team Rocket dance in delight, sure that THIS time they'll prove successful and Meowth's unlikely fantasy will come true. The sing in (dis)harmony, while back down amongst the twerps Chingling is continuing to be overly excited, and Ash suggests they beat the living shit out of it till it calms down.

This is EXACTLY what he suggests..

They decide to show Francesca how a Pokémon Battle is done, with Gligar against Buneary while Chingling and Francesca watch. Buneary and Gligar batter each other back and forth and kick sand up onto Buneary's vest which upsets it, and Ash tells a grumpy Dawn that it was just a normal attack. Dawn decides it is time the clothes came off, and Ash agrees that the last thing you should have to worry about during a battle is your clothing.

People using Google Search directed to this page due to the last paragraph are going to be REALLY confused!

With Buneary's vest removed, it blasts Ice Beam at Gligar, which fails to dodge and crashes into the ground surrounded by ice, which shatters. Gligar hits a Steel Wing and Brock calls off the battle to say they've done enough to show what they're capable of. Francesca asks Chingling if it wants to have a go, and it agrees, so moments later it's Chingling against Turtwig... but the battle doesn't quite kick off the way they were hoping.

They try again, Francesca telling Chingling to use Astonish... but it doesn't know what the fuck she is talking about. Dawn gives encouragement, and Ash has Turtwig use Razorleaf to send it crashing back through the air and into the ground. Ash is a bit surprised, thinking maybe he was a little too rough, and Dawn shouts that she calls foul. They all rush towards the completely out of it Chingling... and fall down a hole!

It's Team Rocket time!



And they brought cleavage with them!

"'Scuse me would you like some cheese with that whine?"
"That moaning of yours is way over the line!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Least I feel fine!" adds Meowth.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing all hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Yes! We're Team Rocket cries James.
"We're Team Rocket!" they all sing, first individually and then as a group, before finishing with,"And we're in your faaaaaaaace, ah-yeaaaaaah!"

They grab up Chingling in a net, Meowth joking they're not so bad, they only took one! Ash says this is one too many and orders a Razor Leaf, but it bounces off of the net, and James laughs that it is thicker than Ash's head!

Is it possible to get rope that thick?

Buneary blasts the rope with Ice Beam however and the net falls through the air, Happiny catching Chingling before Buneary tosses Happiny into the air and it sends Team Rocket blasting off again, singing in harmony again with a little assistance from Dawn who shouts out that they're flat.

If there is one thing Jesse is not, it's flat!

Ash checks on Chingling and it grasps onto his neck with delight, apparently over that whole "Turtwig fucked my shit up" thing. Not long after, Francesca attempts her magic show again, but once again Chingling ruins the act, this time leaping up to Ash. She picks it up and tells it that it can't keep doing this, think of the children in the next town! She turns back to the table, but instead of the two Chingling waiting for it, now there are three!

Francesca and the twerps are confused, Ash thinking maybe one of them is a wild one that came by when it heard the other singing. Francesca decides to see how it works out and they try to sing, only it turns out that this other (suspiciously mechanical looking) Chingling has the voice of Satan!

Watching from the bushes, Team Rocket are controlling the mecha-Chingling with a remote control, but don't seem too impressed with their own results. It's obviously tone deaf, Jesse saying it sounds just like James (it doesn't), and James retorting he could hardly let it sound like her! Tone deaf or not, however, Meowth says it's got to gain the confidence of the other Pokémon. But the twerps approach and figure out that something looks weird, and Team Rocket realize it's now or never. The Mecha-Chingling blasts a burst of smoke over the twerps, and Team Rocket crawl up wearing night-vision goggles and dive on in!

They rush out clutching a sack, and the smoke clears to reveal that Francesca saved Chingling.... the fake one! She tosses it aside and it smashes apart, while Ash calls out Staravia to find the missing Chinglings. And where are they? Singing for a delighted Team Rocket! They did it! They successfully pulled off a heist.... now get the fuck out of that forest, don't stick around waiting!

Chingling leaps into James' arms and hugs him happily, and perhaps because it's a little like Chimecho he asks if he can keep just one, since they have three. Jesse points out that you can't have a three part harmony without three parts, Meowth insisting that he do the math and James.... bursts out that they'll just have to be a duo! He runs away from a shocked Jesse and Meowth who can't figure out what is wrong with him (Meowth suggests he is "a mush"), but as James runs it turns out that he WAS thinking of Chimecho! Chingling evolves into Chimecho, and since his is recuperating at his Grandparents, he'll reunite them all and everyone will be happy!

Meanwhile, Staravia spots Jesse, Meowth and the other two Chingling and gets the twerps' attention. Not long after, Jesse is considering the idea of a two part harmony when a third Chingling hops up to them. They figure James is trying to make amends while failing to notice the Chingling is the one that THEY built. They figure it out too late as it blows smoke in their face, and when it clears the twerps are waiting to challenge them, Jesse and Meowth singing out in a two-part harmony in alarm until they start accusing each other of bad singing.

Jesse calls out Dustox and Ash sends in Chimchar, which blasts straight into Jesse and Meowth with Flamewheel and blasts them off, Dustox fluttering off behind them to try and catch up. But the twerps have only got two Chingling back, and only blasted off two of the Team Rocket trio, there is still James to go!

James is asking Chingling sweetly if it wants to come with them, but it doesn't seem to understand so he calls out the big guns in very dramatic fashion, calling on the power of... his baby clown!

Mime Jr asks Chingling to come with them but it refuses, so James has Mime Jr use Teeter Dance, causing the surprised Chingling to start dancing as Mime Jr. leaps in towards it. But Staravia leads the twerps to the scene and Francesca orders Chingling to dodge and attack with Hidden Power, scoring a direct hit. Mime Jr uses Mimic but Chingling Dodges and uses Confusion... on Mime Jr AND James!

They're sent blasting off again, and Francesca congratulates Chingling for winning its first fight. It motions that it wants a hug, surprising her since it has never asked before. She tells it that it can have all the hugs it wants, which is kind of sending it mixed messages.

Not long after, they prepare to part ways, the Chinglings singing their goodbye in harmony without any unexpected hugs to ruin things. And off they go, with Francesca presumably able to continue peddling her pathetic little show around the region and the twerps once more on their way to Pastoria - nothing really resolved at all. But who cares about that, the important question remains....

Did James land in the same place as Jesse and Meowth!?!

BEST QUOTES

"Here I am a grown woman and I've never heard of an enchanted tablecloth!" "You can't have three-part harmony without three parts!" "Do da math!"

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