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MORAL LEARNT
531: A Triple Fighting Chance!   536: Tobari Jimu! Rukario tai Buizeru!   Hulk Hogan vs Wolverine           Terrible at picking doors to open   Gathering intelligence then doing what they were gonna do anyway!    A draw is as good as a win!  


Last episode saw the Veilstone City Gym Leader, Maylene, regain her confidence during an Official Gym match with Dawn, after it had taken a knock following an ass-kicking she took from Paul. Now this is out of the way though, it's Ash's turn, as he goes for his next Gym Badge.

After all this wait, it's straight into the action, as we begin right inside the Gym, Connelly asking Ash and Maylene if they're ready before kicking things of. Now Ash just has to beat Maylene and her tough Lucario in a 3 on 3 match, giving him....



It's 3 on 3, only Ash allowed to make substitutions. As Brock watches (and Croagunk deliberately looks in a completely different direction), we discover that Dawn is in her cheerleader's outfit (which ironically has a longer skirt than she normally wears), and she's dressed up her Pokémon as well - Ambipom, Pachirisu, Buneary and Piplup all dressed as cheerleaders. Brock notes that Dawn is cheering for BOTH sides, and she says this is going to be the greatest battle OF ALL TIME!

Well certainly that's a realistic expectation!


Maylene sends out Machoke, a muscle-bound rocky Pokémon, and Ash sends in Staravia. Things kick off immediately, with Quick Attack against Brickbreak, the normally offensive move being used defensively against Staravia which has the advantage. Ash isn't willing to allow this impasse though, having Staravia use Gust to push back Machoke and then come in with Aerial Ace, but Machoke blocks with Cross Chop and knocks Staravia back. Machoke then proceeds to slam the fuck out of Staravia with a series of Brick Breaks before moving in for the kill with Seismic Toss, but Ash has Staravia react with a sudden Quick Attack followed by Aerial Ace, finally catching Machoke off guard and knocking it out.

It's 1-0 to Ash!


Maylene calls back Machoke and congratulates Ash on the way he moved Staravia from Quick Attack into Aerial Ace so quickly, which doubled the effectiveness of the move. She then prepares to call out her next Pokémon.

As the battle is going on though, Team Rocket are creeping through the rest of the Gym, taking advantage of the Battle to poach some Pokémon. When they slide open the first door they find, however, they discover an old man and his two assistants sitting cross-legged on the floor. They welcome Team Rocket and ask if they're like a relaxing massage free of charge, and Team Rocket are MORE than willing to let their fingers do the walking.

"Fingers?" asks the old man, and seconds later... well some rape be going down!



Oh like you wouldn't!


Back at the battle, Maylene calls out her second Pokémon - Meditite. Ash has Staravia use Quick Attack, but Meditite uses Detect to spot the move, then Meditates to raise attack power. Staravia comes in with Aerial Ace but against Detect allows it to dodge, and Meditate raises attack power again. Brock explains that she wants to finish off Staravia with one hit, but Ash says that he won't let that happen and has Staravia use Gust to blow Meditite back... but Maylene was expecting this. She has Meditite bounce off of the walls and come at Staravia fast with Drain Punch, sending it flying back.... but Staravia isn't out yet. It tries Aerial Ace but Meditite catches it with Confusion, slams it into the ground and then.... starts making it bang its head against the ground!

Haha, what a jerk!
Ash calls back Staravia, not knocked out so still available for later. Ash sends in Chimchar which scratches Meditite fast. Maylene sends Meditite back with Drain Punch, and then continues on with this, battering the fuck out of Chimchar then using Detect to block the Scratches that Chimchar comes back with. Brock warns that Detect can be overused though, and on cue Meditite's Detect fades and Chimchar scores a blow.

Chimchar uses Flamethrower and scores a direct shot on Meditite, then launches into Flame Wheel.... but Meditite uses Confuse to wheel it into the wall, and a confused Chimchar begins fighting the actual wall. Ash calls it back and sends Staravia back in, the return and recall having cleared it of Confusion. Meditite tries Drain Punch but Gust slows the move down and pushes back Meditite, and Brock realizes the fight with Chimchar wore it down. Staravia then launches into Brave Bird, and Meditite tries to use Confusion, but it's too tuckered out and Brave Bird scores a direct hit..... it's 2-0 to Ash! But Brock warns Brave Bird that damages Staravia too, and it is clear that the bird is tuckered out.

Maylene thanks Meditite for its hard work, then congratulates Ash and Staravia on learning Brave Bird so quickly before sending in her third and final Pokémon..... but it's a doozy. Lucario!

Ash goes right for Brave Bird right off the bat, Brock noting that at this point small moves aren't going to do anything. But Lucario is prepared, going over all Wolverine and using Metal Claw to slash through Brave Bird and smash Staravia with a direct shot.



Staravia is out for the count and it's now 2-1, Brock out and out lying and whispering that he said Brave Bird was too dangerous despite the fact he just told Dawn it made sense to use the move.

Ash sends in Chimchar with Flamethrower, keeping it up as Lucario keeps dodging the blasts of fire. Chimchar goes in with a Scratch and gets a blast of Force Palm for its troubles, so Ash sends it back in with Flame Wheel and scores a direct hit on Lucario. Ash tries to go back to the well but Chimchar can't seem to do Flame Wheel again, seemingly Force Palm has had a belated paralytic effect on it. Seeing Chimchar exposed, Maylene sends in Lucario with Bone Rush and.... batters the living shit out of Chimchar!

Ash yells at it to use Dig to escape the assault, and it manages to do so despite the paralysis. But Lucario isn't done, sensing Chimchar's Aura and blasting the ground with Aura Sphere. Chimchar is sent flying up into the air and Lucario smashes it with Metal Claw and slams it against a support beam.... and Chimchar is down!

It's 2-2!


So Lucario has taken out two of Ash's Pokémon and barely broken a sweat, what can Ash do to combat it? Who can possibly stop this unstoppable force? Surely no one, surely all hope is lost! Sure this is the en-

WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING BROTHER!

It's Lucario versus Buizel!


Dawn starts a new cheer in celebration, kicking her legs high in her short skirt and throwing her pom-poms between her legs with each kick, causing a certain subset of fans watching at home to go,"Oooh.... awwww.... oooh.... awwww...."

Brock notes it is down to the last battle and asks Croagunk what he thinks... but Croagunk is missing. How odd, where could he be? Well wherever Croagunk is, surely whatever it is doing can't be odd or in any way perplexing!



Well, maybe not!


An aching Team Rocket have recovered from their rape and discovering the training room. But all they've found inside was Brock's Croagunk, punching hot sand in a pot sitting on a fire. They close the door and turn around.... to discover Croagunk sitting facing them quietly croaking! It wasn't Brock's Croagunk inside the training room at all, but upon spotting Team Rocket it blasts them with Poison Jab and sending them blasting off again!

Meanwhile back at Wrestlemania, it's THE BUIZELSTER against Lucario. Water Gun blasts into Aura Sphere and the two moves seem to cancel each other out, but then Aura Sphere bursts through the water and hits Buizel. Lucario rushes in with Bone Rush, but Buizel is able to dodge... at least at first until it is taken off of its feet. It gets back up through and spins through the air with Aqua Jet, and Dawn realises this is the move that it learned from her during their contest days. Maylene sends Lucario in with Metal Claw but Aqua Jet blasts through and knocks Lucario down, and Buizel starts blasting Sonic Booms at it. Lucario uses Bone Rush to defend against the Booms, then Aura Spheres that Buizel knocks back in turn.... but this was the plan all along, as Buizel was distracted from Lucario leaping up at it and slamming it's palm against Buizel's chest.

Force Palm!


Buizel is blasted back and Maylene orders Lucario to finish things off Aura Sphere, Buizel down and clearly unable to recover. It struggles to its feet and everyone thinks that the match is over, Buizelmania is dead.... but then, between Buizel's paws appears a struggling, growing sphere of Water. Maylene is amazed, is it Water Pulse?

Lucario blasts Aura Sphere and Buizel fires Water Pulse, and the two crash together, cancelling each other out, Buizel looking more than impressed with itself. It spins into an Aqua Jet and Lucario tries to block with a Force Palm, and both are sent crashing back. They both leap up into the air and blasts Aura Sphere and Water Pulse at each other, blowing the roof off of the Gym!

Buizel and Lucario slam into the ground, the roof torn off of the Gym and showing the sky above them. Brock is amazed at the power, and Lucario is determined to go on, but Buizel is struggling to get up. Lucario rushes in with Metal Claw and slams Buizel down, and Ash begs it to get up. But it is unresponsive, and Connelly begins to proclaim that Buizel is unable to conti-

WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING, BROTHER! THE BUIZELSTER DOESN'T GO DOWN WHILE ALL THE LITTLE BUIZELMANIACS BELIEVE! BUIZELMANIA WILL LIVE FOREVER, BROTHER!


Lucario charges in with Bone Rush but Buizel feels a wave of dizziness wash over it and it doesn't seem able to react in time. Just then it starts to rain, and as Lucario charges in, Buizel dodges aside, refreshed by the water and all the little Buizelmaniacs.

Brock says this is Swift Swim, an increase in speed brought about by rain. Again it's a Force Palm/Aqua Jet combo, and again it sends them both backwards, but now Buizel seems paralyzed by the Force Palm. Ash and Maylene both know this is it, and it's a Force Palm/Water Pulse combo again, but Buizel changes things up by spinning into an Aqua Jet and follows after the Pulse, Lucario and Buizel screaming as they clash together in one final shot from both of them.



The mist blown up by the impact clears and.... both Pokémon are standing! Buizel and Lucario facing off with nothing seemingly resolved. Then both smile and.... fall!

It's a Double Count-Out, Brother! A Draw!

Well.... goddamn!


Ash and Maylene both thank their Pokémon and Dawn is impressed by the battle, but what does this mean in regards to the badge? With the rain seemingly cleared and the sun setting, the twerps and Maylene and her Pokémon stand outside, Connelly saying that with the match a draw, the decision whether to award Ash the badge is Maylene and Maylene's alone. She thinks for a moment, then tells Ash that he gave her the best battle she has EVER had, and as a result of that, she believes that he deserves the Gym Badge, and gives it to him!

Ash got his Cobble Badge!


She says that she should be the one thanking him, since he gave her her confidence back. They tell her to keep strong while Ash celebrates, he finally, finally, FINALLY got his third Sinnoh Gym Badge! Connelly bursts into tears again at Maylene's renewed spirit, and the twerps prepare to head off towards their next adventure.

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