ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
529: Lost Leader Strategy!	534: Rukario! Ikari no Hadodan!	Ash Beats Up Paul's Big Brother!			Ash meets Paul's big brother and a depressed Gym Leader.	Allergic to irony.	They put drawstrings on pants for a reason, Maylene!

Today finds the twerps FINALLY arrived in Veilstone City, and eager to find the Veilstone Gym to challenge for Ash's next badge. But as always, one can't get too ahead of themselves, as distractions from Ash's goal are usually only a step away.... and here comes one now in the shape a glittering blue ball firing up from the large park within the city straight at the twerps, just missing them. More come firing out of the woods and, for a wonder, Ash actually displays retention of knowledge once again as he recognises them as Aura Balls!

(snicker)



They rush to the source of the Aura Balls, and spot a Lucario chasing a young lady covered in band aids. The two are fighting (each other!), the Lucario shooting Aura Balls at her which she deflects away with impressive kicks and flips. Ash recognises the Pokémon as a Lucario immediately, and Brock tells Dawn that the Aura Balls are a mysterious energy that all people are supposed to possess, though some have it stronger than others.

Which is just his way of trying to say he's just as good as Ash, who demonstrated Aura ability in the past that NOBODY ELSE IN THOUSANDS OF YEARS had demonstrated.

But while the girl and the Lucario's fighting seemed at first to be by consent, the lady suddenly gets concerned. She gasps that Lucario is angry at her as it clasps its paws together and creates a bone made of energy, a move identified as Bone Rush. It swings its bone at her

(snicker)

and she dodges, and soon the bone dissipates as Dawn notes that things seem rather intense for what appeared to be a training session. Just then an electric attack zaps the fence from which the twerps are watching, knocking down Piplup. Pikachu jumps to its defence, and then from out behind a tree emerging a snickering Electabuzz, enraging Piplup which charges in to attack, only to be knocked back by Electabuzz's belly. Pikachu jumps into the fray and all three Pokémon start throwing down while the twerps yell at them to stop, until they too get blasted by a stray electric attack that catches the attention of the girl and her Lucario. She tells Lucario that they should help, but its reaction seems a trifle over the top.



She apologises for Lucario which seems rather contemptuous of her admonishment to it to apologize. A man calls out to "Maylene" asking if everything is okay, and the Electabuzz panics and tries to creep away before being spotted, trying to pretend all the fight was in good fun. Ash thinks the Electabuzz looks like Paul's (since Electabuzz are such individual looking Pokémon) and the older man (Reggie) and Maylene both seem surprised that Ash knows Paul. Reggie then spots Pikachu and figures out that it must be the one that knows Volt Tackle. He explains that Electabuzz does belong to Paul, who left it (and all his other Pokémon) with him since he is a Breeder (snicker) AND.... Paul's brother!

Oh snap!

It stands to reason though, that when talking about his journey, Paul would mention a Pikachu that knows Volt Tackle but not Ash. Ash introduces himself and tells them he's here to challenge the Veilstone Gym Leader, asking if Paul has challenged yet. Indeed he has, and won! And the person he beat was... Maylene! She's the Veilstone Gym Leader!

"Sigh," sighs Lucario.

Ash asks Maylene if he can challenge her, Lucario and her too wide in the hips pants to a Battle, but she moans she'd prefer if he challenged someone else.... so Lucario slams his balls into her face and knocks her off of her feeGETCHAMINDSOUTTADAGUTTA!

Reggie explains that Lucario isn't too comfortable with Maylene as a Battle Partner yet and has been pushing her really hard all day. Dawn asks about the Aura Balls they saw before and Brock figures out that it must be Lucario "training the trainer", an idea that intrigues Ash... but intrigues Team Rocket more! They're watching from the bushes, delighted to discover that Lucario rules while Maylene drools, and if they can get their hands on that Lucario....

Just then, some big muscular guys in karate outfits show up, and their leader Mr. Handlebar Moustache demands that Maylene get back to the Gym. She snaps back that she doesn't want to be Gym Leader anymore and they yell at her that she shouldn't be talking about this kind of thing in front of outside trainers. Reggie tells the twerps that Maylene is actually well respected for her battling ability (and low slung pants) but only became Gym Leader six months ago and the men (who are actually HER students) are trying to toughen her up. She reiterates once again she doesn't want to be Leader anymore and an irritated Lucario blasts at her with an Aura Ball point blank once more... and she slaps it away like it ain't nuthin' but a thang!



Reggie asks if it is because of Paul and everyone makes startled looks. We see a flashback of Paul using his newly evolved Honchkrow to beat the shit out of Maylene's first two Pokémon, then send in Magmar to beat the fuck out of Lucario. It seems that the Veilstone Gym is a Fighting Type Gym, and Paul used this knowledge to completely outclass the new Gym Leader and pick up an easy victory. Maylene sighs that she was completely out of synch and the battle didn't even resemble a Gym Leader battle, and Paul was right to say what he said. And what did he say? In typical asshole jerk fashion, he told her that she was the weakest Gym Leader he'd ever seen, and that the Lightweight Badge he won from her was appropriately named, because she was just a lightweight.

God DAMN, son!

Reggie apologises, saying that Paul has always had a cruel streak to him, but Maylene sobs that he was right and screams at them to leave her alone before running off. Reggie asks Handlebar Moustache (Connelly is his name) to let him and Lucario handle this, and they refer to him as Master Reggie and agree. Reggie apologises and in a bizarre turn of events, Ash decides not to get involved in a complete stranger's business and decides he'll just find another Gym! Lucario seems horrified by this (maybe because it wants to fight, maybe because it recognises Ash's weird aura thing that the previous Lucario saw in him) but Dawn speaks up quickly, saying that she wants to go and talk to Maylene, and has Lucario lead her and Piplup to where it thinks Maylene has gone.

Where has she gone? To a rock overlooking a stream out in the forest, sitting cross-legged and meditating on all the numerous failures of her life, including the failure to buy pants that actually fit her. She senses Lucario and asks it to leave her alone, but then realises that Dawn and Piplup are there too.

Meanwhile, Reggie is feeding the Pokémon and telling Ash and Brock the back-story of Maylene and Lucario. They were a famous fighting team in Veilstone City, and it was big news when Maylene became the Gym Leader. But now she has started to doubt herself, something Brock says he can understand, it's difficult when you first become a new Gym Leader.... especially if your Mum is a crazy whore who disappears in the night and your Dad is a crack-addict.

Back by the stream, Dawn is telling Maylene about how she has fucked up at recent Contests and is now taking a break from it all. She admits that while she tells people she is recharging her batteries, she actually wonders if she has what it takes to be a Coordinator at all. As Piplup stretches and then dives into the stream for a relaxing swim, Team Rocket are watching from the trees, planning when to make their move. Maylene explains that she has trouble concentrating nowadays because, as a Gym Leader, she now knows that every battle she has could entirely change the course of a trainer's life, something she never had to worry about before when she and Lucario were street fighters, fighting on the.... uhh.... street. Lucario tries to encourage her in the only way it knows, by raising a menacing fist and threatening to beat the shit out of her, but Dawn tells it to actually listen to what Maylene has to say. She says that what Paul told her really hit home, but Dawn ignores her own advice to say you shouldn't listen to Paul since he's a jerk and fuck that guy anyway. They both talk about how it used to be fun but now they just feel like they're holding others back (Ash, in Dawn's case) or causing them unnecessary trouble (Lucario, in Maylene's), but then a new voice enters the conversation, as Jesse tells them that their worries are over. Maylene is confused, are these friends of Dawn's?

"Friends? Another twerpette without a clue!"
"A meeting of the old and new!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"YIPPEE YAHOOOO!" screams Meowth.
"We've come here to bring chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing all hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting you do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In yer face!"

Dawn warning them that they're certainly after Lucario, but Team Rocket insist they're actually there to offer Lucario a better deal, it deserves better than to be saddled with a loser, so why not be with them!

The irony is delicious.

Meanwhile, Reggie has finally recognised Chimchar and is patting the happy little fellow on the head. He asks Ash if Paul put him through the mill with all the intense battle strategies he always comes up with. Ash could give a shit about strategy though, he just wants to fight! He replies that the only strategy that matters is being one with your Pokémon, then squeezes his glass of orange juice and insists that one day he will beat Paul in a battle. Reggie laughs that it would be quite something to see, a battle between Ash and Paul, which seems to catch Ash off-guard, what does Reggie know about him?

Meanwhile, Jesse is doing her best to seduce Lucario over to her side (oh like you wouldn't say yes in a heartbeat), all of them offering such things as balloon rides, access to bottlecap collections and... CHOCOLATE!

Oh goddamn, chocolate! Team Rocket watched the movie!

Lucario roars and produces a shimmering bone club of pure energy and brandishes it at them. For some reason, Team Rocket takes to be a very unique way of saying,"It's a deal!", so they're rather surprised when they end up blasting off again! Lucario grunts at Maylene and she thanks it, but says she can tell it is still angry at her. Dawn says this is only because Lucario cares about her, and suggests that they have a battle now, Dawn and Piplup against Maylene and Lucario.

It's like a mouse getting into a fight with a lion.

Meanwhile, Reggie has asked Ash to have a battle against him, saying it might not be a substitute for a Gym Battle, but he's eager to battle against his brother's "rival". Ash eagerly agrees and runs outside, Reggie grinning that Chimchar has grown up a lot... thanks to Ash's training. Brock agrees, but as he prepares to leave, he notices the framed badges on the mantel. He recognises enough of them from the various regions that he and Ash have travelled through to think they might be Paul's.... but no, Reggie chuckles, they belong to HIM!

How many badges?



A metric fuckton, that's how many!

Outside, it's a three on three battle between Ash and Reggie as Dawn and Maylene return. Ash calls out Gligar to join Chimchar and Pikachu... and it plummets out of the air and crashes into his face. He hauls it off and tells Gligar he wants it to watch to get used to the battling they'll be doing together, then calls out Turtwig to actually do the battling. Reggie sends out Bibarel, which instantly lifts its tail to display it's anus to him.

Well, he is a breeder!

Turtwig kicks off with Energy Ball, which blasts straight forward at Bibarel which counters with Superfang. It chomps through the Energy Ball before glowing purple and using Secret Power to surround Turtwig with green energy and put it to sleep. Bibarel charges in with Takedown and sends Turtwig bouncing, but also wakes it up and seems to hurt itself in the process. Reggie seems surprised at how quickly Turtwig has woken, and tells Bibarel to go in with Superfang again, but Turtwig dodges and blasts Bibarel with Razor Leaf over and over, impressing Reggie who compliments the movement of Turtwig - though Ash admits that he got the move from Gardenia. Bibarel tries an Ice Beam, but Turtwig jumps clear and blasts it with Energy Ball, knocking it out cold and giving Ash a 1-0 lead in the best of three match.

Reggie compliments Bibarel for getting beaten by a Pokémon that slept through a third of the battle, while Turtwig happily chomps on Ash's arm in celebration why not. Something seems to click for Maylene, and Dawn talks about how much Ash and Turtwig trained together to get things down pat.... while Lucario seems to be aroused by looking at Maylene's clenched fists.

Swalot comes out next and, after checking it out with Dextina, Ash sends in Staravia. Swalot absorbs a Quick Attack and opens its gaping maw wide and closes it, looking dignified even with its ridiculous moustache. It uses Stockpile a second time as it is hit with a Wing Attack, and Brock explains to Dawn that Swalot's Stocktake absorbs damage AND stores power, and when it lets it all go... look out! Staravia comes in with Aerial Ace, but then Swalot.... Swalot...... Swalot unlea.... it.... the move is called Spit Up and it... it....

It projectile vomits right onto Staravia!



Jesus fuck!

Swalot shrinks back down to size but Staravia isn't quite out yet, charging back in with Aerial Ace only to be hit with Sludge Bomb and fall out of the sky into Ash's arms. It's still conscious, but Reggie calls back Swalot and Dawn declares it is 1-1 now.... even though Staravia is still conscious! Reggie tells Ash he is impressed with Staravia but has a move he'd love to show him, and calls out... Staraptor!

Oh fucking snap!



It's the Emo Evolution of Staravia!

Ash sends in Pikachu, telling Staravia to watch closely, and opens with Thunderbolt. But Staraptor dodges and uses a move amusingly enough called Brave Bird, surrounding itself with a fiery aura. Ash tells Pikachu to jump up and spin out of Staraptor's path, but as it does the aura around Staraptor changes to icy blue and smashes into Pikachu, crushing it into the ground and causing a crater in the carefully tended lawn. But Pikachu staggers back up almost immediately, impressing Reggie, while Staraptor itself looks pained, and Brock tells Dawn that Brave Bird is a risky move that can hurt the Pokémon doing it as much as the target.

Staraptor comes in with Steel Wing and Pikachu bounces clear with Iron Tail, launching through the air up high and coming down with Volt Tackle, which Staraptor tries to counter with Wing Attack. Pikachu smashes into the ground and Staraptor.... flails back crackling with electricity and crashes into the ground moments later, while the smoke around Pikachu clears to show.... Pikachu is still standing!



Ash wins! Ash beats Paul's incredibly talented and accomplished brother!

Ash hugs Pikachu and Dawn tells Piplup that was great, while Reggie says this was the best battle he had in a long time, and he'd still like to teach Ash that move he mentioned - Brave Bird. Reggie then turns to Maylene, who was very impressed by Pikachu AND Ash, and tells her that he knows she'd love to battle Ash, and as she quavers on the edge of accepting, Dawn suddenly leaps to her feet and shouts out that SHE challenged Maylene first.

Yes, Gentle Dodgers, her offer by the stream wasn't just for a friendly battle, next episode, we'll see Dawn in an official Pokémon Gym Battle!

BEST QUOTES

"Maybe it was allergic to chocolate?" "It can't be allergic to bottlecaps!" "I fink it was allergic to you!"

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