ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
525: Tanks for the Memories!	530: Meido Kafe no Mirutanku!	Brock: Study of a Pervert			The twerps visit a fetish cafe.	They CAN'T make money from a fetish store?	Don't take children to fetish cafes!

Today finds Dawn running through a field enjoying the smell of fresh air, the setting idyllic, a massive mountain taking up the background. Ash is eager to get to Veilstone City for his next Gym Battle, but he's curious what Dawn plans on doing there (which is kind of a jerkish thing to say, she's your friend dumbass! Maybe she's just going to support you!), catching her by surprise. She figures she'll just take Zoey's advice and try to kick back and relax a little, think about what to do at her next Contest. Brock tells them that he thinks he has found just the place to do such a thing, and then runs ahead jumping and skipping and telling them that they're going to love it.

Ahhh, such enthusiasm from young Brock can only mean one thing - pretty girls in skimpy clothing! If time has taught us anything, it's that Brock is happiest when pretty young ladies are all about, remember all the times he's lusted and thrusted after them? So tanks Brock....



Brock leads them to "the Mountain Hut Maid Cafe" and tells them it's like a second home to him, then bursts through the door shouting,"I'm baaack!"

He's been there before? When?

Leading Ash and Dawn in, three girls call out a happy,"Welcome hoooome!" to them. It turns out that the cafe is just a cafe like any other. There is only one difference, and that is that... there are girls.... dressed as maids.... which is a fetish.....

Brock has taken his ten year old friends to a Fetish Cafe.

Oh God, here comes the FBI.

He tries to encourage the two older girls (Spring and Summer) to let him molest them only to have his lower back punctured by a Poison Jab from Croagunk. It drags him away, as Ash and Dawn try to figure out how best to handle this situation their perverted friend has dumped them in. Apparently the special of the day includes Miltank Milk, which raises a whole series of new questions about what kind of den of iniquity this is, and then Brock returns in full on fantasy-hottie mode, and they all take seats at the table.

Brock explains that nothing is healthier to drink than Miltank Milk, and Ash and Dawn innocently agree to feed it to all their Pokémon. They're taken out to the barn and a bell is rung which calls in Miltanks wearing maid hats of their own, and they're sat down and hooked up to machines that milk them, and the twerps all drink hot fresh milk from the udder.

Holy fuck.

All of the Pokémon are called out to have a drink, and they all stupidly jump straight into the perverse practise, all except for Croagunk, which stares suspiciously at the warm frothy liquid.

Peter Lorre's been around the block a time or two, let me tell you!

The youngest of the maids (Autumn, to Spring and Summer, her older... sisters?) thinks their Pokémon are cute, but Brock wonders where HER Miltank is. She points it out sitting out in the meadow looking bored and scratching its ass. Its name is Ilta and she apparently doesn't like Autumn or listen to what she says.... and besides she's not that cute so Autumn figures she'll dump her!

Brock interjects to tell her that she needs to work on developing a relationship with her Pokémon, and Spring agrees, telling Brock he is a very wise man (oh you're so big and clever Mr. Johnson! I giggle at all your jokes!) and he explains he means to be a Breeder (snicker) and offers to help Autumn out with her Miltank. Even while he's making this kind-hearted offer to Autumn, however, he's busy macking on Spring, and Croagunk has to step in again to set things right.

Summer appears warning that the place is getting crowded, apparently with drunken Japanese businessmen since despite the crowd they decide to leave young Autumn behind to work with Brock - which also means they're leaving their "customers" Ash and Dawn behind in the barn. But that doesn't last long, as Dawn suggests that they help out, Ash agrees, and then.....

Things get weird.



REALLY weird!

Ash thinks it is a bit over the top but the two maids explain it's all they have and he looks great, and just then the "crowd" bursts through the door..... two nerds! One is thin, the other fat (and wearing a creepy shirt with a girl's face stretched across his gut - Marina from "Legend of Thunder") who don't look too pleased to see it's Ash in a maid outfit today, and glumly allow him to take them to their seats.

Meanwhile outside, Team Rocket peek through the window and then turn and run away. Have they been smart enough to get the fuck out of this nightmare of a monstrosity of a fevered, perverted episode? Nope, they've seen the chance for money, a maid cafe could be a goldmine, because who has more disposable income than fat virgin nerds?

The anime industry practically survives off of that vein alone!

Jesse's eyes burn with delight, hell if people want to salivate over pretty girls with nice figures in maid outfits, she's bound to burn a hole in their bulging.... billfold! She even has coffee! Well.... a spoonful that James was hoping to use to stave off a caffeine headache. Things continue to get weirder as Jesse leaps into a maid outfit (that she had handy) and Wobbuffet also jumps into one (that IT had handy!) and they pose happily as James falls to his knees, reaching out for either coffee or sanity.



In this episode, he'll find neither.

Meanwhile Brock and Happiny are teaching Autumn how to earn the trust of Ilta. Ilta for its part chomps some grass, scratches its ass and ignores them. Brock shows Happiny a flower and talks about how cute it is, and when Autumn tries to emulate this, she fails miserably, getting no help from Ilta which eats the flower and actually ends up burping right in her face!

Brock tries to press on, taking Happiny across a swaying ropebridge and calming it down when it gets a little panicked. Autumn tries crossing with Ilta, but it refuses to move even when she tries shoving it. Brock offers it berries and it storms halfway across before realising how precarious its position is and starts panicking. Autumn offers it "support" by slapping it on the back which causes them both to tumble against the ropes, and Autumn goes over the side only for Brock to grab her wrist. But then the rope snaps and he falls too, and Happiny grabs them both and flings them through the air to crash into the field. Autumn is in tears thinking she could have killed Brock, but he insists things are fine, and she looks at him with love in her eyes.

Oh dear. How you going to explain this one to the FBI, Brock?

Inside the cafe the two nerds that made up the "rush hour" have gone home to download hardcore rape tentacle shitting dicknipple porn, and Spring tells Ash that she and Summer can handle things now. He and Turtwig rush outside (still wearing their maid outfits!) while Dawn stares sadly out the window and Piplup stares in awe up under her skirt.

Meanwhile, the nerds have been sidetracked in their quest for porn by another Maid Cafe, this one with a "R" placed firmly above the door. They head inside and discover Jesse in her maid outfit, James dressed smartly as a waiter and Meowth.... in baby clothes.



We're through the looking glass here, people.

The nerds are rushed into a table and asked if they want coffee, and when they say no, they're ignored! Jesse, James and Meowth happily turn around and ask for a cup of joe, and Wobbuffet appears behind the bar and syringes a tiny drop of coffee into a cup of hot water.

Good lord.

Meanwhile, Turtwig is able to pull off a small Energy Ball that falls apart soon after, but Ash (out of the maid outfit now) tells it that it is doing fine and they roughhouse a bit while Dawn watches. She prepares to call out a Pokémon, Ambipom perhaps, until she remembers what Zoey told her about losing sight of the contest being about showcasing the Pokémon. She isn't sure what to do, and then spots Piplup looking up at her and insists she is okay, patting it on the head and then surprising herself by starting to cry. She tries to wipe the tears away and Ash comes bumbling up, completely missing the point as always as he asks why she is crying and asks if she got something in her eye. When she hurriedly agrees that must be it, he just blurts out that he's hungry.

What an amazing, amazing moron.

Meanwhile Brock is explaining grooming to Autumn, and starts shampooing Happiny. Autumn tries to do the same with Ilta and completely fucks it up, creating too many suds, panicking and drenching Ilta AND Brock with water, then crashing into the ground and giving Brock the opportunity he has been looking for.



Seriously Brock, how the fuck you gonna explain this to the FBI?

He tells her that she just needs to relax (and she'll get used to the feeling?) and stop panicking all the time.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket's Maid Cafe is a roaring.... failure. The nerds are upset at the "coffee" just being hot water (and the complete lack of fanservice in Jesse's outfit) and Jesse's reaction is hardly comforting, as she screams at them to be upfront if they have a complaint. They rush to the door saying that this place is terrible, doesn't have any Miltank milk and doesn't feel like "home" at all, and off they run, presumably to make a really angry post on the Internet about it.

"YOU'RE SUCH GIFTED CONVERSATIONALISTS!" James desperately lies at them as they leave, trying to keep them and their money there. Once they're gone he and Meowth sigh that without Miltank Milk they're nothing, which causes Jesse (and the maided up Wobbuffet) to declare they'll make their OWN Government milk program!

Brock takes Autumn and Ilta through a rocky path to an apple tree, where Ilta rushes up and starts punching the trunk to drop apples, which also drops.... Beedrill!

It's always Beedrill!

Ilta runs to escape and Brock tells Autumn this is where she needs to be calm and protect her Pokémon. She jumps in front of Ilta and throws her arms wide, and Brock tells her not to make any sudden movements to alarm the angry Beedrill. One rushes at her though as she shouts at them to leave Ilta alone, and then Happiny suddenly giggles, wiggles its little clublike arms and sends up a sphere of light that seems to leave the Beedrill confused.

Oh shit, it's a Togepi!?!

They cheese it while they can, and Ilta happily licks Autumn's face for saving her. She hugs it, but then a net falls on them from above, a Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon carrying Team Rocket! Brock jumps and grabs the net as they're lifted up, while Team Rocket happily perform their motto.

"Forget about your curds and whey!"
"We're the cream of the crop and we're here to stay!"
"On the wind!"
"The stars!"
"Babay!" adds Meowth, still in his baby clothes.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing all hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting all you do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in your face!" they finish together.

Autumn screams demanding to know if they're nuts and what's a Team Rocket, and Jesse realises they've captured a Happiny too (as well as a Brock and an Autumn).

The balloon sails by Ash and Dawn as they eat ice cream, and they chase after it. The Balloon has already landed, and Brock has been somehow overpowered along with Autumn and all of them shoved in a cage. Miltank struggles with the bars and Meowth laughs this will just give it a "milkshake", and then they show it the cage, telling it the only way to get out is to provide them with Miltank Milk. It refuses of course, and a furious Jesse gets her own "milkshake" as she slams and shakes against the cage. Brock, somehow not enraptured by the shuddering udders, tells her that getting angry is the worst thing you can do with a Pokémon, and then Happiny again causes the sphere of light to appear, apparently knocking out Team Rocket and letting Autumn grab the key.

But while Happiny is displaying Togepi-like traits, Brock isn't Misty, and actually NOTICES it pulling off this shit, asking it what it did.... has it learned "Secret Power"? He congratulates it for learning the move, and then they take off, leaving the unconscious Team Rocket behind. But Wobbuffet was not affected (who knows where it actually was) and it spots the opportunity to do something it has been wanting to do for awhile now.



Oh like you wouldn't!

But of course, all it did was splash water over the unconscious villains, waking them up to see their captives escaping. Autumn is pushing the dopey-eyed Ilta in front of her when she trips again, and Brock grabs her hand. She moans that she did it again, and then blushes as she realises she is holding Brock's hand. He asks her if she is okay, she says she is, but they just stand there still holding hands as Brock lets the FBI build a stronger and stronger case against him.... and then a ferocious Jesse appears from the pursuing Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon screaming at the illegal couple.

"What is this, a staredown contest?" she demands, while Meowth laughs at them to go "goo-goo" on their own time. They land and call out Seviper and Carnivine (which practically stretches James' neck into a bean-pole) just as Ash and Dawn arrive, Ash calling out Turtwig and having it use Energy Ball.... which crashes out before it can hit a frightened Team Rocket. Brock interrupts Ash to give him and Autumn a chance to tag battle, which involves Happiny and Miltank beating the shit out of Seviper and Carnivine, and then all of Team Rocket.

They're sent blasting off again with the obligatory "Got Milk?" joke, Autumn celebrating because Ilta actually listened to her commands. She hugs her cow which licks her face, and to celebrate they jam its udders into a machine to be milked.

Autumn rushes blushing over to Brock to thank him.... except he has disappeared to mack on her older, legal sisters. Furious, she screams at him to cut it out, and Croagunk appears to jam the fuck out of his spine.

Shortly after they prepare to leave the fetish cafe, but Autumn wants to say something as his student before she goes. Brock stops her though, telling her she isn't his student anymore, then reaches out and takes her in his hands....



But before the FBI can move in for the takedown he so richly deserves, he tells her that no matter how clumsy or useless we sometimes feel, we still reach our goals one step at a time. She tells him she won't forget this valuable lesson (basically his strategy for getting laid, if he keeps trying, one day he'll get right up there like a rat up a drainpipe) and the twerps head off, the maids telling them to come back sometime. Brock eagerly decides NOW is the best time to come back, but Ash and Dawn haul him off, leaving one to wonder where he'll take them next, a brothel? A Ponyta Show in Aopulco?

And as they go, Autumn stands blushing, thinking that one day she'll be everything Brock wants her to be.

Willing AND legal.

BEST QUOTES

"My red-hot performance will burn holes in their bulging billfolds!" "It's a maid cafe, not a fire sale...."

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