ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
524: Team Shocker!	529: Pokémon Kontesto! Zui Taikai!	Dawn is STILL a Loser			Dawn fucks up ANOTHER Contest, Jesse does not.	Their "plan" worked!	A confident and relaxed attitude can be better than the most complicated strategy.

Today's episode begins with an angry looking Breloom, Dustox causing problems with Jesse's skirt and Ambipom break dancing! It's finally time for the Solaceon City Pokémon Contest, and it's going to be a real....



Outside the Solaceon Pokémon Centre, Ash and Turtwig are trying out Energy Ball, the move that Dawn's childhood (she's 10, for God's sake!) friend Kenny promised to teach Ash if he didn't tell Dawn that Kenny was a little bitch-ass pussy.

Turtwig can't seem to pull it off though, and Kenny says that they should just concentrate on retaining the form of the Energy Ball rather than directing it. Ash thanks Kenny for his help but tells him he can go back to training for the Contest if he wants, and they both look over at Dawn who is training her Pokémon. As she gives Ambipom instructions, a crafty looking Brock moves around behind her for absolutely no reason (why would a horny young man so obviously move into position behind a young girl in a tiny skirt!?!) as Ambipom spins and uses Swift to send stars flying through the air. Dawn is pleased and gives Ambipom a treat, which it grabs with the udder-hand of one of its new ass-arms, and Dawn tells it that it earned the treat before giving Piplup, Pachirisu and Buneary exactly the same treats for no reason whatsoever.

That's communism!

Brock tells Dawn that Ambipom's Rainbow Swift looks great, and she says that unlike last time, this time she plans to just concentrate on making one move look as good as possible. Brock, perhaps still blinded by that short skirt, agrees that a purely one-dimensional performance is absolutely the best idea for a contest designed to show off talent, skill, coordination and teamwork.

Later that night, Jesse appears outside the town dressed up in her Jesselina costume, happily posing along with Dustox as rose petals swirl down around them.... tossed by a less than enthused James and Meowth. Jesse declares that this time she has a strategy that cannot fail, and when James and Meowth ask to hear it, Jesse giggles and tells James not to be silly, she can't wait to hear the foolproof strategy that he promised he'd come up with!



Ooooooh shit.

"I..... forgot," James whispers to Meowth as Jesse sashays off wriggling her giant skirt behind her.

"Dat makes two of us," admits Meowth.

Still, luckily she's none the wiser and they can co-



Ooooooh shit.

"I can't hear you," she growls, and they frantically promise her that they DO have a plan and she's guaranteed the ribbon, and..... well.... things get weird.



I have NO IDEA what is going on!

The next day, the crowds are lined up outside the Coordination Hall, and inside Miriam welcomes the crowds. Up in the stands, James and Meowth watch on nervously and the twerps sit with their cheerleader Pokémon. The normal Judges are there, including the token Nurse Joy who much like myself doesn't really know what the fuck is going on.

First out is Kenny in his Matador outfit, calling out Breloom which appears in a remarkable swirl of silver energy and fires off Stun Spore while vibrating its body angrily, Brock explaining it's using the fine mist of Stun Spore to show off the "fine sheen of its fur".

But it's a Grass Type....

It uses Energy Ball and Mach Punch to create a "rain" of light, and the Judges are impressed, as is Dawn backstage. She fidgets with her thighs while up in the stands, Piplup seems nervous, either because it can see how much Kenny has improved or because it doesn't know it's own gender either and isn't sure if it should be holding pink pom-poms and wearing a little skirt.

Other Coordinators come out to fill in time and space demonstrating their talents, all of them knowing that they don't even have names, they don't even have SOULS! Then it is Jesselina's turn, and she emerges brimming with confidence thanks to James and Meowth's "plan". She calls out a sparkling Dustox, James clapping and telling it to "shine on". Dustox flies around Jesse with Whirlwind and lifts her up into the air, flying "without wings or strings" and letting the crowd see right up Jesse's bloomers, by golly.

The crowd is initially quite impressed, but as she continues to float.... and float and float..... the crowd starts getting a little restless. But surprisingly Jesse actually DOES have a plan in mind, and has Dustox use Psybeam..... ON HER!

Green smoke blasts the arena floor, and then clears to reveal.... Jesselina is completely unharmed and posing alongside Dustox. The crowd erupts in cheers and the Judges compliment her on being in complete tandem with her Pokémon and pulling off a remarkable illusion. Even the twerps are impressed, Ash noting she got the biggest hand of the night so far.

James and Meowth hug each other in crying delight; she's a hit so they won't get hit!

Dawn comes out next, calling out Ambipom with Spotlight and blasting the arena with waves of Double Hit that send shockwaves of energy over the startled crowd before it spins about, ass-arms held high and udder-hands sending waves of Rainbow Swift out over the crowd.

In a small log Pokémon Centre in the middle of nowhere, Zoey watches with other trainers/coordinators, her feelings on Dawn's showpiece unclear. In the crowd, Ash and the Pokémon are delighted, and backstage a surprised Jesse notes that Dawn is even gaudier than her! Brock is getting concerned though, telling Ash that this might be "a little much", but Ash argues you have to get the crowd's attention, and this did just that. But as waves of Rainbow Swift wash over them, the Judges seem less than impressed.

Ambipom finishes off and Dawn hugs it happily, and they wave to the crowd before heading backstage where Kenny tells her it was really something. The twerps come backstage and Piplup dives headfirst at her crotch, and then they all watch as Miriam announces who will make it through to the Second Stage. One by one they're revealed - The Magician, the Emo, Jesselina, Kenny, Morticia Adams, Ruffle-Collar, Shaggy and........ Space-Girl!

Dawn isn't Space-Girl! Dawn is somebody else!

In her hometown, Dawn's mother lifts her and her ridiculous bouffant hairdo off of the couch and walks over to the wall where pictures of her own time as a Coordinator and shots of Dawn and her Pokémon adorn the walls, telling Glameow,"Poor Dawn."

Backstage, Dawn and Ambipom can't believe it, but as her world falls apart around her, the rest of the Universe moves on unaffected, Miriam going on with talking up the Second Stage. Emo will face Ruffle-Collar, The Magician will do battle with Jesse, Kenny takes on Morticia and Space-Girl may be unmasked by Shaggy.

Ash reaches out for Dawn but Brock grabs his hand and pulls it away, not wanting Ash to do something like comfort his friend in a time of need (though given it is Ash, it's just as likely he'd say something incredibly inappropriate and make her commit suicide). Dawn just stands there, then shrugs and grins and says she must have just had a less than great day out there but there's always next time. She grabs Kenny and shoves him out the door telling him to go get ready for his battle, while Ash remains as confused as ever.

Jesselina slides up behind Dawn and grabs her shoulders, grinning wolfishly and telling her "thanks for coming, don't let the door hit you on the way out!" and tries to shove her out of the Coordinators Room! Dawn locks her feet down, however, grinning back and says she isn't going despite the fact she has no goddamn business being there any longer. She says she wants to see it right through to the end (well go up into the stands with the other losers then!), and Ash spots that she's just about to draw blood she's squeezing her fists closed so hard. Even an idiot like him can see that her resigned cheer is as much of an act as anything a coordinator does onstage. But things continue, Jesse seemingly defeating The Magician as the next we see, her Dustox is blasting Kenny's Prinplup.

Backstage the twerps are watching, Dawn looking less and less cheerful as time goes on. It seems this is the final of the contest, and Jesse and Kenny are relatively evenly matched so far with less than a minute to go. Dustox uses Whirlwind and lifts up Prinplup, but Kenny has it use Bubblebeam in an attempt to stop it. Dustox blasts through the bubbles with Poison Sting which causes the bubbles to sprinkle down over it and make it seem to glow, and then time runs out and the winner is.....



Holy.

Shit.

Jesse fucking WON! She won and she didn't cheat!

"Our Jesse's in the big leagues!" cries James.

"That means we're in the pink!" shouts Meowth.

Well.... someone is getting ahead of themselves!

Jesse is handed the ribbon and Mr. Contesta (who is either a foot shorter than her or she is standing on a podium) asks if this is her first one, and she giggles and slaps him playfully across the shoulder telling him he says such embarrassing things! The Judges remark they can't remember seeing her so relaxed before, while up in the stands James and Meowth ponder if maybe she won because she was so confident about the "plan" they had for her (use whirlwind 'n' shit!) that she relaxed and just glided through.

As the crowds empty out of the Stadium, Kenny tells the twerps he has to get going on his way to the next Contest, and asks "Dee-Dee" if she'll be there too. She looks uneasy and then says she probably won't, not the next one anyway. He snaps at her that there is no way he's going to let her quit contests, and she smiles and throws up her hands saying she'll be there. But as he leaves, he notices that she isn't waving, only Brock and Ash.

Dawn returns to their room at the Pokémon Centre and collapses into the bed, clutching the one ribbon she has won and moaning to her absent mother that she doesn't know what she did wrong and doesn't know what she can do, and breaks down crying.

The next day, the Ash and Brock are sitting in the Pokémon Centre wondering why Dawn hasn't gotten up yet when Zoey shows up and tells them she saw the whole thing on television. She strides into Dawn's room and whips the sheets off of her - luckily for Dawn and unluckily for Zoey, she's dressed in long sleeves/legged pyjamas - and tells her not unkindly that they're going to battle, Dawn can use Ambipom and they'll fight based on what she did in the Contest.

Dawn does as she's told (Hey when an androgynous redhead bursts into your room and pulls your sheets off, you'd be so relieved you weren't raped you'd do what they told you as well!) and soon they're facing off, Glameow against Ambipom. Ambipom creates the Rainbow Swift as it did in the contest, while Ash tries to figure out what is going on.

Zoey tells at Dawn to think about what she is doing, and tells her to try and see Ambipom. Dawn blinks, realizing that she can't see Ambipom in amongst all the Swift, and Dawn remembers how Kenny's move had made the sheen stand out on Breloom. Hell, even Jesselina's Dustox was shown off to great effect by Psybeam and Whirlwind. Zoey sends Glameow in with Iron Tail to break apart the Swift, then knocks down Ambipom and "wins" the battle. She steps up and tells Dawn that the reason she gave Solaceon a miss was because whenever she loses a Contest, she skips the next one so she won't be so caught up in her prior loss that she loses sight of what she's doing and loses again. She tells Dawn to stop thinking about winning ribbons and just concentrate on being the best she can, and Brock chimes in with the redundant advice of just taking it easy.

Dawn seems to take it to heart though, and shortly after Zoey is on her way once again, having told Ash to give Dawn the present of winning his next Gym Battle. But all of that pales in comparison to the simple, major fact of what was REALLY important in this episode.

Jesse won a ribbon!

BEST QUOTES

"I can't wait to hear that dazzling strategy you promised you'd come up with for moi!" "I forgot!" "She's a hit!" "Now we won't get hit!"

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