ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
517: Once There Were Greenfields!	522: Natane to Sabonea! Sayonara wa Dare no Tame!	No More Happy, Huggy Cactus Thing :(			James has to decide whether to give Cacnea up to Gardenia.	They're not just stereotypical, one-dimensional bad guys!	Sometimes you gotta say goodbye to what you love.

Today's episode opens with a bunch of kids running up excitedly to see.... Gardenia! Yes the slightly batshit insane Eterna City Gym Leader is randomly wandering between towns again instead of taking challenges at her Gym. As she chats with the excited kids, the twerps come wandering by and spot her, much to Brock's delight. Nothing quite as pleasant to see in the early morning as a slightly unbalanced pretty young girl who sometimes forgets to wear a top under her poncho.



They walk up to say hello, while Brock slides up from beneath her to see if she remembered to wear her top today (she did), only for Croagunk to Jab him, double him over and drag him away as the small children try to make sense of this hodgepodge of sexual metaphors.

Ash asks what Gardenia is doing in Emerald Grove Town (and not, you know, running her Gym) and she explains she's taking part in a promotion for Pokémon battling by having battles all over the area. The twerps think this is a good idea, and as they chat, Team Rocket pop their heads over the bushes and spot opportunity. Twerps, a Gym Leader and a bunch of little kids who probably have Pokémon of their own! Jesse declares they should start the new season with style (and to hell with the Fourth Wall!) and forgoing any kind of subtlety, simply rushes out of the bushes and launches right into the motto.

"Listen, is that the sound of a twerp with no brain?"
"That answer couldn't be more plain!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"WHAT A PAIN!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together, echoed by Wobbuffet.

She calls out Seviper and James calls out Cacnea which happily jams itself into James' chest, and he shoves it off of him just in time for.... Gardenia to happily jam herself onto Cacnea's chest!



Team Rocket are horrified, and Cacnea itself isn't too delighted with the situation as she nuzzles her head against its prick (it takes after its Master in that respect). James demands she put it down, and she begs to just "borrow" it for a bit, though James shouts angrily that she'd want it on a permanent basis and they both know it.

As they argue, Jesse, Meowth and Seviper look on before pointing out that they're supposed to be in the middle of a Pikachu Capture in progress. Then the little kids speak up, pointing out that Gardenia was supposed to be showing them a battle, and she comes up with a solution, Ash and friends in a Tag Battle against her and "the blue haired guy".

The blue haired guy!

James snaps that these blue hairs "pass", but the kids laugh that the "old man" is scared, and he snaps that he's not scared and he's NOT old, and they laugh at him to prove it, so he shouts that he'll beat the short pants off of all of them.

No James, NO! BAD! BAD!

He agrees to the battle and the twerps are excited as well and everyone forgets that Team Rocket were in the middle of trying to steal Pikachu as they set up for an impromptu Tag Battle.

Soon they're facing off across the town fountain, Aipom and Pachirisu for Ash and Dawn against Turtwig and Cacnea for Gardenia and the Blue Haired Guy. Jesse snaps that she'd rather watch Paint Dry but her and Meowth's boredom fades as they battle starts, Pokémon leaping about and firing off moves at each other.... and Gardenia loves it, declaring with joy that she's never seen such a gorgeous Pin Missile, while James just sighs, it may have been gorgeous, but it missed.

Meanwhile, Turtwig bites Pachirisu on the bum and almost gets a mouth full of discharge...... EWWWW!

Cacnea uses Needle Arm against Aipom's Focus Punch, and Gardenia suddenly gets over her "green-lust" and starts suggesting moves for James to try. It attempts another Needle Arm but misses, and Gardenia tells him to use Drain Punch, which they've never used before. Gardenia tells him how it's done and a panicked James suggests it to Aipom and.... IT WORKS! Cacnea knocks out Aipom, surprising everyone, including.... Cacnea!

Gardenia is focusing too much on Gardenia though and Turtwig gets knocked out, and Cacnea's Drain Punch fizzles out as it tries to take on Aipom's Swift. Like a kid with a new toy, James calls for Drain Punch again but again it fails and Aipom punches Cacnea in the face with its ass and knocks it out, and it's over, Ash and Dawn win!

"I can't believe Gardenia lost," moans one little boy.

"It's the old man's fault!" yells another, freaking out James who yells at the kids while shaking his fist.... nope, not an old man at all! He yells that he's not too old to put them all across his knee!

No James, NO! BAD! BAD!

Gardenia checks on Turtwig, while Cacnea limps back to James who lifts it up to check on it. Gardenia tells him that she knew Cacnea was capable of Drain Punch after seeing the strength of its Needle Arm, but James is confused as to why it only worked once. Cacnea speaks up and Meowth translates, it says it was just a fluke it worked the first time, but Gardenia insists it is something special and that with training it could improve, but it needs to be in synch with its Trainer. James asks if that means Drain Punch's failure was his fault, and she replies that she thinks it would be best if SHE was the one to train Cacnea.

She wants to steal happy huggy cactus thing!

The kids rush up and ask Gardenia to show them some other Pokémon, and she suggests they all go to the Pokémon Centre and leads them away. The surprised twerps and Team Rocket are left behind, Jesse growling angrily that Gardenia has a lot of nerve, Little Miss Green Ego!

A short time later, James and Cacnea sit on a hill overlooking Emerald Grove Town, while a grumpy Jesse and bemused looking Meowth sit on a park bench a small distance behind them. Jesse has finally had enough and gets up, walking over to James and telling him not to let Gardenia bum him out. He grins and says that Gardenia isn't bumming him....

It's just too easy, sometimes.

....and Jesse learns that James isn't too sure if he shouldn't let Gardenia have Cacnea after all. Her reaction?



Subtlety was never her strong point.

Meowth translates for Cacnea and they learn he wants to learn Drain Punch, and James decides they should do some training.... just as the twerps come walking by. Jesse spots them and comes up with a sneaky idea she shares with Meowth, they'll partner up with the twerps so Cacnea can learn new moves.

That's not sneaky at all, Jesse, you could just ask and they'd be happy to help!

The twerps watch as James shouts encouragement to Cacnea and it attempts to execute Drain Punch, and when Ash realizes they're doing special training, Dawn quips that even Team Rocket does the right thing "sometimes". A disgruntled Jesse (who is well within her rights to be disgruntled) points out that they do the right thing lots of times, and Brock ignores this truth to note that "whatever" the truth, they're doing the right thing "this time".

But Cacnea is getting exhausted attempting to fire off Drain Punch, and Jesse and Meowth dramatically, theatrically proclaim it is so difficult to find the right kind of training partner. Ash suggests to Pikachu they do just that very thing, much to Jesse and Meowth's sly delight.... even though the "con" they've just pulled off isn't exactly a con since they could have just asked and Ash would have said yes.

Dawn does point out though that training Cacnea to be a stronger Pokémon is going to put THEM at a disadvantage, but Ash insists that it's their job to help Pokémon and Trainers become stronger and better respectively, and James and Cacnea burst into tears at their kindness.

Soon, Pikachu and Cacnea are facing off, Ash shouting out encouragement to Cacnea that it did Drain Punch before, it can do it again. Pikachu rushes in with Quick Attack, and Cacnea counters with Needle Arm, both of them getting knocked backwards. Pikachu tries a Thunderbolt and James yells at Cacnea to dodge it, and it does.... with unexpected consequences, as James takes an ass full of electricity.

He groans for another Needle Arm and Pikachu jumps in with Iron Tail, getting knocked back by Cacnea's Needle Arm. Brock suggests that Needle Arm is improving one hit at a time, but when Cacnea tries Drain Punch it trips on a rock and skids face first through the dirt up to a surprised Pikachu. Dawn says she was sure it would hit this time, but Brock notes that the timing is still off and the trainer's commands aren't much better, and then realises that comments like that aren't exactly helping build the confidence of Cacnea OR James, who have overheard everything he said.

They continue their training by having Cacnea spar with Carnivine and Chimchar, working on its punches against Carnivine and Chimchar's palms until suddenly it just lays out Chimchar with a swinging left, knocking it on its ass as James calls for Drain Punch and.... it ALMOST does it.... but not quite.

As the sun sets, James and Cacnea sit on the hill watching the sun while Jesse tells the twerps that he's even more pathetic than yesterday, and Meowth notes that when it comes to James, that's not exactly newsworthy. Jesse tells them it all started when she asked if James was serious about giving Cacnea to Gardenia, while James sits thinking that nothing ever changes or improves for them, and maybe Gardenia really IS the best choice for Cacnea.

But then he leaps up seemingly reinvigorated and proclaims it's time for more training against Aipom, just as Gardenia arrives and asks if she can observe. He grumpily agrees, and soon it's Cacnea and Aipom facing off again.

Aipom tries Focus Punch but gets smashed by a Needle Arm that has again strengthened. It tries another Needle Arm followed by a Drain Punch, but before it gets a shot in Aipom smacks it aside. Jesse snaps at him and asks if he's ever heard of a thing called timing, but then Cacnea manages to come back with another Needle Arm and then charge in with Drain Punch, it's arm glowing as it prepares to hit a shocked Aipom.... but the Drain Punch fades and it smashes face first into a rock. James is miserable, but Gardenia says it isn't over yet as Cacnea staggers away from the rock looking pissed and flies in with Drain Punch fired up again... and Aipom smacks it in the face and knocks it down! It gets back up but gets smashed again and again by Aipom, leaving it staggering.

Whoops, no one told Aipom they were supposed to be helping Cacnea, not knocking it out!

But Cacnea refuses to stay down and staggers towards a surprised Aipom like some kind of Cuban Boxer, punch drunk but refusing to go down. James walks over and picks it up, telling it that this is enough. He hugs it and says it did its best but it's over, and Ash returns Aipom, which is delighted in its victory, not realising what it has done.



James stands up and walks away from Cacnea, and tells it to stay away from him, surprising Ash. He turns away and tells Cacnea that this is where they part, it has to go with Gardenia. Jesse and Meowth are shocked, as are the twerps, but James tells Cacnea that it has the potential to be great, but it needs a great trainer to do that and he.... he is not great.

A wobbly-eyed Cacnea insists that it wants to stay, but he tells it to go away and it's face hardens for a second before it nods, realising what James is doing. He smiles and lifts his Pokéball, returning it to its Pokéball before remembering how they met (he gave it some potato chips!), their adventures together, then hands the Pokéball to Gardenia and tells her to look after Cacnea for him. He turns and runs off down the hill, followed by a surprised Jesse and Meowth telling him to wait up.

The next day, the twerps stand outside the Pokémon Centre saying their goodbyes to Gardenia, her Turtwig and what is now HER Cacnea. They walk away, while up in the rooftops, James looks at Cacnea one last time through his binoculars and says his final goodbye, for him, and quite possibly for us too.

No more happy, huggy Cactus Thing :(

BEST QUOTES

"I'm not too old to put all of you across my knee!"

Previous Episode Next Episode Episode List