Crisis From The Underground Up!

ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
701: Crisis From The Underground Up!	706: Gekiso! Batoru Sabuwei! (Zenpen)	Keyser Nyasu			The twerps get used, outsmarted, outplayed and stranded by Team Rocket	Holy shit!	Don't trust a sneaky cat!

Today finds the twerps FINALLY in Nimbasa City. They're looking out over the city, including the giant Ferris wheel, while Cilan explains that the City is known as Battle Central because there are so many places to battle other than the Gym. Ash just wants to get to the Gym though, but Meowth slows his roll by moaning that he is exhausted and just wants to get to a Pokémon Centre and get some rest. Iris says she is hungry, but Ash insists, he WILL get to his Gym Battle goddammit... till his and Pikachu's belly rumbles too. Cilan rather enthusiastically tells them he knows just where the Pokémon Centre is and turns around, running away with his hands held up over his head he's just that goddamned excited!

But when they arrive.... it's at the entrance to the Subway? Cilan explains the Nimbasa Subway is fast and easy and will get them to the Pokémon Centre in minutes, and Meowth has heard all he needs to, fast and easy are his middle names!

I thought that was Jesse?

Cilan excitedly tells them this is the only way to travel and rushes down into the subway, declaring he is a Metro-Connoisseur. It seems there is no end to what Cilan can do/be an expert in, but can he handle a....

Down in the colourful Subway station, Cilan leaps about excitedly over a "Subway Exhibit", taking photos and going over all sparkly-eyed till Ash tells him it just looks like a regular Subway train to him. Cilan explains it is much more than that.... it's SUBWAY TIME! Popping on a train-cap as Iris sighs that it is lecture time, Cilan explains that this Double-Train is one of the oldest mass produced trains around. Dim, stupid Ash asks what mass-produced means, and Cilan explains that it means they made a lot of them rather than one at a time. Iris asks if that is a good thing or not and Cilan happily tells them it's a very good thing because there was no waste (except for all the people who got laid off at the factory!). Cilan then begins explaining the various subdivisions of Connoisseurs for subways, trains, tracks, engines etc, but Meowth drags him away to find some food, as Cilan moans that he wanted to look at the pretty trains some more.

They finally get on board, but Cilan's enthusiasm doesn't stop there. As the subway car moves through the tunnels and along the tracks, inside Cilan is humiliating Iris even further. Face firmly plastered against the window, he watches eagerly as they move through the tunnel, while the other passengers stare at his ass with varying degrees of amusement and appreciation, Iris herself looking a mixture of mortified at Cilan's behaviour and embarrassed at getting such a clear look at his bum.

Ash pokes his head up to look through the window when Cilan momentarily looks away to talk to Iris, and is enthralled not by the sight of the controls but the fact there is no driver. Cilan explains that the trains are automated, controlled by the main computer using sensors to detect train positions and slow it down, speed it up or brake it as necessary. But suddenly the train does come to a sudden brake, and Cilan fears there may have been an accident. He looks out the window and sees a train go by, which shouldn't be a big deal except... Cilan has never seen this type of train before. He overhears other passengers referring to the "Ghost Train", and then Ash and Iris call out to him that something is coming down the track towards them. He joins them and looks out to see the odd twins we've seen in previous episodes, and Cilan names them as Ingo and Emmet - the Subway Bosses.

An apology comes over the intercom and the Subway continues, and when they reach the station Cilan heads over to see the Bosses who he has met before... at the Subway Convention. My God, Cilan really IS a trainspotter. Iris asks what the problem with the trains is and they tell her about the strange train-spottings, and Cilan asks if they mean the Ghost Train. They do, the "Ghost-Train" appears from nowhere and disappears into nowhere, and the Automatic Systems have to halt all the trains whenever it appears to prevent the possibility of crashes. Cilan is furious that anybody would put people in danger (and fuck with his precious trains!), but not as furious as Meowth who doesn't want to be held up any longer in his quest for food, and drags the connoisseur away.

At the Pokémon Centre, Ash is impressed by the size (surely the one he blew up in Viridian City was bigger?) while Joy talks about the Pokémon Vault. Cilan and Meowth talk it up, the vault has therapy machines and Audino masseuses. Meowth knows all about it, he tells Ash the place is famous and he should let all of his Pokémon take advantage - including Pikachu and Axew.

Me.... Meowth? Are you.... oh no Meowth.....

As he's wheeled away, he suddenly shouts out that he has something to do he forgot all about. He leaps off the stretcher and heads to a phonebooth, where he.... contacts Dr. Zager to tell him that their plan is ready to go into action.

Meowth nooooo! Curse your inevitable betrayal!

In the restaurant, Ash suddenly remembers he has to call his parent who loves him very much - Professor Oak! He heads for a phonebooth as Meowth returns to join Pikachu and Axew and all of the twerps' Pokéballs. Audino gets scanned by the Centre's Security System which will only open the vault to Nurse Joy or Audino (any Audino?) and then wheels them in.

Ash is on the phone with Professor Oak talking about which Pokémon he will use for his Fourth Gym Battle. As Oak calls for Tracey to come over and give him some advice (Presumably Tracey's job is to look after Ash's Pokémon for him) communication is suddenly cut off to the Centre. Outside, the drawbridge controls start running themselves, lifting the drawbridge and then shorting out the controls. Ash returns to the table and tells Cilan his call got cut off, but he'll try later on. Meanwhile, Meowth has the now sleeping Pikachu and Axew (they got massages and drifted right off) in cages and is cutting the security system. The air-conditioning system opens up and the Pokéballs kept in the vault fall free, tossed into the vent by Meowth where they begin being blown to where Jesse and James are waiting.

The twerps head over to Nurse Joy to ask her why so many police cars are on the road, and she explains that the drawbridge is stuck and communications are out all over the city. Cilan ponders all this as well as the Ghost Train and comes to an inescapable conclusion.... somebody is trying to steal Pokémon!

Or rob a bank maybe.... I don't know....

Meowth tosses the last of the Pokéballs into the vent and leaps down after them, his part of the plan complete. His lies in earlier episodes about his shitty distraction were in themselves the distraction - he's orchestrated everything to get into the vault at Nimbasa City and the twerps fell for it hook, line and sinker! The only one who didn't was Pikachu, who is currently in a little cage for his troubles! Meowth has done, Meowth has pulled off his scheme!

Nurse Joy leads the twerps to the Vault and gets scanned, explaining that nobody could have gotten inside other than her or an Audino (again, I assume specific Audino's only?). The door opens and they head inside.... and all the Pokéballs are gone! As are Pikachu and Axew! The only thing left is the open vent, and the twerps leap down in pursuit of the thief, Cilan telling Nurse Joy to tell Officer Jenny. On the other end, Meowth arrives and is reunited with Jesse and James, and they shut off the airflow to the vent, meaning that the twerps have to crawl along on their own power, sweating all the way.

Meanwhile, Zager has hacked into the Automatic Tracking System and sent the trains haywire. As Ingo and Emmet try to regain control, the twerps fall out of the vent and find Meowth with his back to them. At first Ash is happy to see Meowth is safe, but when Iris asks if he came down looking for the Pokémon, Cilan notices the train on the tracks is the Ghost Train. Meowth chuckles, turning to face them and pointing, laughing that he couldn't have done it without their twerpish help. They still don't get it, so they get an answer in the form of.... THE MOTTO! YES!

"What do you mean? You're clueless indeed!" laughs Jesse, jumping down to join Meowth.
"The answer will come as we feel the need!" adds James, also coming down.
"Bringing the white light of evil into the future!"
"Thrusting the hammer of justice onto the black darkness of the universe!"
"And carving our names into da rock of etoinity!"
"The fiery destroyer, I'm Jesse!"
"With thunderous emotion, I am James."
"Wisest of da wise, I am Meowth!"
"And now gather.... under the name of Team Rocket!" they all finish together.

THEY'RE BAAAAACK!

The twerps are horrified to learn this was Meowth's plan all along, and he laughs that it would be rude of him not to thank them for their part in things. The twerps are horrified at his trick, but Jesse thinks that is enough gloating for now and sends out Woobat to attack the Pokémon-less twerps. They rush away aside as the Ghost Train heads down the track, Ash screaming after to Pikachu that he's coming... then promptly trips over. Cilan tells him to calm down but Ash needs to get after them, and Cilan tells him they need to go to the Subway Control Room where they should be able to get an overview of all the trains and locate the Ghost Train.... which the Subway Bosses have been able to track or locate even before shit went haywire.

Arriving they inform the Bosses what is going on, and Iris thinks that maybe if all the other trains are shut down it will block the Ghost Train. But sadly there are connecting lines set up to allow trains to bypass others, so the Ghost Train will be able to move to where it needs to go. The good news is that it can't take a direct path to get there, and the Subway Bosses know the lines better than anyone, if they want to get out of the track system they'll need to pass through the D3 Point no matter where they are going. By a stroke of luck there is a direct line they can travel from the Post Office to the D3 Point, and they can lay an ambush for the Ghost Train. The twerps insist on coming, and Ingo and Emmet figure there can be no harm in bringing three Pokémon-less kids with them to take on a huge tube of steel rushing down the lines.

They run to the Mail Car Line as fast as possible, shoving open the door climbing onto the Mail Car. Cilan's enthusiasm gets the better of him as he sees a chance to be a Train Driver, and throws on the cap of a driver. For whatever reason Ingo and Emmet seem to have decided to just leave the kids to deal with things alone, telling them that they need to repair the Automatic Tracking System. Cilan is given the route and starts the mail car on its way to intercept the Ghost Train, switching tracks to get them around stalled Subway Cars and to the D3 Point.... but the Ghost Train is already there, ahead of them. Cilan pumps up the car to maximum speed to catch up to it, but that's not fast enough for Ash who leaps through the air and lands on the back of the.... inflatable ghost train!?! He bobs around on the cushion as Cilan spots a bomb slapped onto the cart it is on - they've been fooled by Team Rocket!

When did Team Rocket get so good!?!

The explosion knocks the mail car off of the track, while back at the Control Room Ingo and Emmet have managed to get the sensors working again and spotted that something is coming up towards the D3 Point. They contact Cilan to find out what is going on and he tells them they derailed, but then what is approaching the D3 Point? They turn and watch in horror as the Ghost Train zooms past them, Team Rocket grinning savagely as they pass. Ingo and Emmet tell them not to worry though, with their sensors working now they can tell exactly where the Ghost Train is goi.... only the sensor on their Control Panel just split into multiple spots! As they dart about across numerous tracks, Ingo and Emmet are left no clearer on just where the fuck Team Rocket have gone! Meowth has outsmarted the twerps and used them to accomplish Team Rocket's plan, they've tricked them with a decoy and now left them stranded in the Subway with no idea where Team Rocket have gone. Where to next for the twerps? Have Team Rocket finally won? We'll find out next week, because this story is....

BEST QUOTES

"Fast and easy are my middles names!"

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