ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
700: Beartic Mountain Feud!	705: Nyagoshieta Nyasu! Tsunbea no Mori o Toppa seyo!	Snotty-nosed Bear			The twerps meet a snotty nosed bear and steal some food	Playing hide and seek with incest twins?	Wipe your goddamn nose!

Today finds a stormy night in the forest, and some Beartic and their snotty-nosed cubs cowering in a cave from the wind and rain. Lightning strikes a tree above the cave and starts a forest fire, and the Beartic put the cubs on their backs and cheese it deeper into the forest. But the wind blows one snotty-nosed cub backwards, clutching at the rocks before it falls down, down, down to the trees below. The Beartic that is presumably its parent roars with rage and denial - a bad sign for any who meet it anytime soon, you don't want to mess with an angry Beartic. The last thing you want is to be in the middle of....



Meowth and friends move through a winding mountain trail in the forest, Cilan telling Ash that they'll be in Nimbasa City soon. Iris is surprised at how screwed up the road is, and Meowth says it was probably caused by the storm a couple of days earlier. Ash is alarmed to spot a small bear-cub Pokémon sprawled out unconscious on the road and rushes over to pick it up, trying to wake it up. Cilan identifies it as a Cubchoo, the pre-evolved form of Beartic, and it's got a big ol' gob of snot hanging from the nose! Dexter explains that the snot is the source of its energy and its sniffles power its moves.

That's.... that's disgusting.

Meowth tells them that it probably needs some food, but when they go searching they find them they find nothing in the trees, bushes or branches. Did the storm blow them away? Meowth is able to find one, but as he shows it off to Axew and Pikachu, glinting eyes in the bushes catch their eye and out bursts one pissed-off looking Beartic, roaring at the terrified Pokémon who rush to the humans for comfort. Axew hides in Iris' hair, Pikachu clutches to the safety of Ash's shoulder and Meowth appears to want a hug from Cilan, though his hands are full with snotty-nosed bear-cub at the moment.

Two more Beartic join the first to menace over the terrified twerps, Iris freaking out at being near ice-types. Ash figures that they're here to get the Cubchoo and they happily offer the timid little weakling to the three Beartic, which just get angrier. They can't figure out why, but Meowth figures some smooth talk from the resident Pokémon Translator will do the trick. He approaches the three visibly enraged bears and tries to offer them some friendly chat... and gets three blasts of Icy Wind for his troubles. Breaking free from the ice, a pissed off Meowth says he isn't the one who needs cooling off.... which is when the Kung-Fu weasel shows up! Of course!

It's a Mienfoo, a.... well, it's a kung-fu weasel! Spinning like crazy, it beats seven shades of shit out of the three Beartic and poses bravely. A man rushes up and tells Meowth and friends to get out of there, and they don't need to be told twice.

Well... maybe Ash does.

A little later, the man - Cliff - gives Meowth and friends cups of tea (but not for Meowth!) while Mienfoo hangs out with Cubchoo which is drinking a bottle of milk. Cliff is from the Mountain Patrol, and apparently has so much spare time on his hand that he can teach a weasel kung-fu. Ash is happy to see Cubchoo drinking, and wonders why it was unconscious in the road. Cubchoo tries to explain (but doesn't wipe its goddamn nose), while Iris elbows Meowth in the face demanding he translate.

Meowth explains the storm and how Cubchoo fell down into the forest deep below. Everything is a blur after that, it staggered along with snot hanging from its nose until passing out. Cliff explains that there are two groups of Beartic in the area, one from the summit and one from the base, but they've never had a history of aggression in the past so he doesn't know why the ones from the base were so angry towards Cubchoo which comes from the summit group. They figure the best thing to do is get it back to its family and friends, but before they can continue Cliff has a question. He's been impressed with Meowth's ability to talk, and thinks having a translating Pokémon would be handy for his work. After checking that Meowth doesn't "belong" to any of the twerps, he casually declares he is going to catch it and he hopes that THEY don't mind, then tosses the Pokéball straight into an astonished Meowth's face! He's sucked inside, the ball wriggles and jiggles and....



DOES NOBODY IN THIS GODDAMN REGION HAVE ANY GODDAMN COMMON COURTESY!?!

Meowth flails about in a fury hissing that this Pokéball thing is getting old. Panting angrily, he says that this was too close for comfort. He doesn't and won't belong to ANYONE, he's an independent Pokémon and he means to stay that way. Cliff apologises with a laugh, and the rest of the twerps chuckle away as if they didn't just watch a completely stranger try to enslave a Pokémon without preamble, discussion (with the Pokémon in question) or even making an attempt to "earn" it through a battle.

Cliff leads them to a cliff and points out the territory of the Beartics who live at the foot of the mountain. They're going to go around it to head to the Summit territory, but as they move on they are surprised to find Beartic from the Foot of the Mountain hanging out in the area. They're surrounded by Beartic and try to fight their way free, Ash calling out Tepig to counter their Icy Winds with Ember... but then Oshawott shows up to bravely join in, finding itself in a bad situation. Mienfoo attacks three of the Beartic and Cliff suggests they get out of there... and Iris doesn't need to be told twice! Grabbing Axew she zips away as fast as possible, but runs into three more Beartic, and when she and the others try to go the other way they find the first three Beartic still in their way. They're fucked!



But Meowth knows what to do! He can negotiate! He approaches the Beartic and tells them getting upset is no good for their health. They blast Icy Wind at him, but he happily darts aside and tells them to calm down and tell him what the problem is.... and the other three blast him with Icy Wind, freezing him in a block of ice and sending him flying. The rest of the twerps try to cheese it, tripping over and sending Axew and Cubchoo falling down a steep crack. Tepig and Pikachu rush ahead of them to break their fall, but then Meowth comes sailing back down, crashing into Oshawott and sending them tumbling down into the others and over the side of the cliff to a 1000 foot drop and certain, inescapable death.

MEANWHILE! The two Nimbasa City Subway Bosses are wandering down the tracks in search of the "Ghost Train" that has been moving through these tracks at night. The oddly twinnish Bosses move through the darkness and seem to spot something ahead. Pressing their cheeks together (how close are these guys?) they rush along the track, but they remain deserted. Eying each other up, they comment that the city is depending on them, and their instincts tell them which way to go... it's the wrong way though. The black and white (HEY! That's the name of the show!) clothed Subway Bosses head up the track, leaving behind Jesse and James huddled into a narrow gap and bemused at the odd pair. Jesse says they're too late to make any changes, and all they're currently waiting for is Dr Zager to arrive.

At the bottom of the long fall, the Pokémon’s corpses lie mouldering. But suddenly against all reason it turns out that they're just slightly dazed, and they all stumble back up. Oshawott blames Meowth and the two lock noses and spark angrily at each other, the best goddamn rivalry. Meowth calls Oshawott "bub" and Oshawott somehow manages to twist its own name around so it sounds like he is calling Meowth "bub" too! Pikachu and Tepig pull them apart and Meowth agrees it is no time to be arguing, saying the rest of the twerps are probably worried sick.

He still calls them twerps, haha!

They try calling out but only get echoes for their troubles, and Cubchoo starts to get upset. Meowth and Pikachu try to cheer them up, but Cubchoo and Axew are babies and grumpy and hungry, so Meowth, Pikachu and Oshawott decide to head off to get some food, leaving Tepig to look after them.

Meanwhile the twerps and Cliff are on their way down to find the Pokémon but have reached a foraging area for the Beartic who live at the foot of the mountain. Mienfoo moves ahead to scout and brings them along to reveal it has discovered the berries in this area were destroyed by the storm.

Elsewhere, the Beartic and Cubchoo have a small gathering of surviving berries. They hear other Beartic approaching and go to join them, leaving behind the berries just as Pikachu, Oshawott and Meowth show up and spot them. Oshawott and Meowth are eager to get their paws on them, but Pikachu stops them to make a smug, fat looking warning that berries gathered together on a stump were probably put there by SOMEBODY.

Meowth insists that finders keepers, losers weepers though and Oshawott eagerly scoops up the food, hands an apple to an unsure Pikachu and then they all head off, Pikachu looked less than pleased. The Beartic and the Cubchoo return with more of the berries they picked up, but are infuriated to find that the stash they left behind is gone. Where is it? Currently being eaten by Axew and Cubchoo, the latter waggling its snot at a horrified Meowth who tells it to keep its sniffly displays of affection to itself.

Tepig and Pikachu aren't pleased with this whole situation though, as Oshawott happily tries to jam food into their mouths. When they refuse, it gobbles it down itself, then tries to stop Meowth from taking all the credit for finding the fruit. He might wish he hadn't spoken so loudly though, as they suddenly find themselves being loomed over by the Beartics group, wanting to know where their goddamn fruit is!

The twerps meanwhile have been exploring further and found no further source of fruit, and Cliff is concerned. With no food source, they'll be starving, and they'll probably consider that the summit Beartic are the ones who have "taken" the food. So they'll want to fight/kill anyone from that group, and their Pokémon are currently out there alone with a Summit Cubchoo!

Meowth - holding a berry in his hand - declares that they didn't steal any berries, and tries to explain why they did it. He claims that their buddy wasn't feeling well, they went out foraging for food, found some and brought it back and that's all there is to it. The Beartics aren't buying it though, and Meowth and Oshawott become increasingly aware of the precariousness of their position till Oshawott comes to an inescapable conclusion - they must fight!

Or rather, Meowth must!

Pushing a reluctant Meowth up to the Beartic, Oshawott then takes off as a sweating Meowth desperately tries to make peace and leave the berries with them. They blast Meowth with Icy Wind and menace the rest of the Pokémon, but then the cavalry arrive - the Summit Beartic!



The twerps are there too and the Summit Beartic don't appear to give a fuck about small fleshy humans at all. Cliff tries to explain that the Summit Pokémon aren't here to steal food, but the Base Beartic don't want to hear it and try to attack. Mienfoo uses Quick Guard to prevent the attack, but the Summit Beartic have been "attacked" now and aren't going to stand for it. As the leader of the Base Beartic powers up, so does the leader of the Summit, and they blast at each other with Sheer Cold, blasting everyone backwards and leaving an impact crater in the ground. Mienfoo warns that giant rocks up on the cliff have been loosened and are rolling towards them, and Ash has Pikachu, Tepig and Oshawott blast them with various attacks. But one rolling rock is left and coming straight for Meowth, Axew and Cubchoo. They cower in fear, and for some reason one of the Base Beartic leaps forward to protect them, and the Summit Beartics all begin blasting at the rock, joined by the other Base Beartics, till they freeze the big rock in place and everybody is happy and friendly now.

Wait... why did the Base Beartics suddenly become friends with the Summit Beartics?

Regardless, the day has been saved, and Meowth gets a snot bubble waggled in his face for his troubles. The Summit Beartics take Cubchoo and head back up towards the top, while Cliff explains he is going to lead the Base Beartics to another forest (section of forest surely?) that has plenty of berries (he assumes, he didn't know THIS part of the forest had lost its berries till he went there!). The twerps are happy with this rushed and illogical conclusion, and tease Meowth a little when he says he'll miss Cubchoo and its disgusting gob of snot. They head off for Nimbasa City, and the next Gym Battle.

But in Nimbasa City? Team Rocket are just waiting for the right time to put their plan into effect. On the video phone, Dr Zager is warning them not to be spotted by the Subway Bosses, but they assure him that even if they are it will be too late to do anything about it - they're about to terrorize Nimbasa City, a thought that Jesse refers to as good times. What are they up to? It looks like we're about to find out.... after Christmas!

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