ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
672: A Connoisseur's Revenge!	678: Somurie Taiketsu! Ishizumai Bui Esu Futachimaru!	Reverse Stranger Danger			Ash meets a lousy Connoisseur with a mad-on for Cilan	Who?	If a stranger beckons to you in a mall when you're alone, go with them!

Today finds the twerps still on their way to Castelia City when they spot a large, garishly coloured building ahead. Cilan says it looks like a brand new Pokémart, exciting the forest-dwelling Iris who apparently is excited by mass consumerism now. They all head inside to see the brand new opening, not knowing that they're walking into...



Through the automatic doors they find themselves inside a giant mall, and are utterly enthralled. Cilan says this is an even more extensive range of products than usual, while Iris has immediately rushed to the jewellery accessories, where a young lady offers Iris a Dragon Gem, which will allow her to raise Axew's Dragon-type moves one time. Iris passes on it, while behind her Ash spots a line of trainers and their Pokémon waiting by a curtained door. Cilan explains they're waiting to see a Connoisseur who will tell them their compatibility with their Pokémon, surprising Ash who for some reason figured Cilan was the only Connoisseur in the world. Cilan corrects him with some amusement and explains that there are ranks of connoisseurs, evaluated by the Connoisseur Association which ranks from the lowest class - C, up through B and A to the highest possible class - S.

Rearrange the letters and they're scabs, which seems accurate since in Sinnoh you can just buy a wristwatch app that automatically does their "highly trained" job for them.

To perform a compatibility check you must be A Class or higher, and Cilan smugly tells Ash that HE is an A Class. Beyond the curtain, a woman in formal clothing is checking out a boy and his Minccino, and blushing as she tests the compatibility, indicating that maybe the Minccino likes its trainer a little TOOOOOO much? She tells him he has raised it well and leads him out the curtain, and when Ash sees her he gasps in surprise,"Hey! It's a girl!"

Cilan, not realising what a huge deal it is for Ash to actually recognise gender, tells him that a female Connoisseur is referred to as a Connoisseuse, which is a very silly name and hardly inspires confidence. Regardless, Cilan tells Ash to go get his Pokémon’s compatibility checked since it would pay to get a different opinion than his own. He heads off to browse while Ash heads to the back of the line, a bit put-off by the length of it. Suddenly a hand beckons to him from another curtain off to the side, and a voice tells him that they are a Connoisseur too and he should come through the curtain to see them. Ash doesn't see anything wrong with mysterious strangers beckoning to unattended children to step through a curtain and heads right through, providing some excellent role-modelling for all the kids watching the show.

On the other side he is shoved down into a cheap folding chair by a young woman in a valet uniform, who bravely thrusts her crotch at him, her cameltoe explaining to him that her name is Burgundy, and though he may not think it to look at her, she IS actually a very highly skilled Connoisseuse ranked by the Connoisseur Association.

She settles down and tells him he can ask her not just about compatibility, but food and accessories and stuff like that. Ash just wants to know about compatibility though, and Burgundy gets excited about Pikachu, gasping that it is extremely rare in the Unova region, before SNIFFING it (stranger danger alarms should be at Force Factor Five by this point, Gentle Dodgers) and declaring it has its own particular fragrance. Ash laughs that he doesn't need to check compatibility with Pikachu, he knows that they're absolutely compatible, and Pikachu happily agrees. Burgundy seems somewhat miffed by this, but Ash explains that what he really wants is to check his compatibility with his newly captured Sewaddle. He calls it out of its Pokéball, where it sits on the floor looking somehow like a kitten, officially making it the cutest (and one of the only cute!) Bug Pokémon in the history of the game so far.

Burgundy whips out some kind of device and begins keenly doing something with it, leaping about dramatically checking Ash and Sewaddle out with it, before telling him that the partnership between him and Sewaddle is.... THE WORST EVER!



Ash is horrified, why!?! She snootily explains that this Sewaddle's special ability is Swarm, but he would be far more compatible with a Sewaddle that had the special ability of Chlorophyll. Ash, dismayed, asks how come, knocking Burgundy off-balance who gasps back,".....just because!" then demands to know if he is questioning the advice of a Connoisseuse ranked by the Connoisseur Association!?! She snaps at him to take her advice and go and capture a different Sewaddle, agitating the little thing which blasts some sticky stuff in her face (this is the opposite of how Stranger Danger usually ends) before Ash frantically recalls it to its Pokéball.

Burgundy tears the string off and snaps at him that she would prefer to see a different Pokémon to that annoying Sewaddle, and Ash mumbles that he'd like to go now. She grabs him and slams him against the wall, telling him he isn't going anywhere (STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!) and DEMANDS to see his other Pokémon, telling him he can't be a Pokémon Master if he doesn't get his compatibility checked. Nervously, Ash calls out Snivy, and Burgundy crassly refers to its fragrance as unsubtle, claims its eyes are too sharp like kitchen knives and them looms forward to LICK it!



STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

Snivy isn't putting up with that shit though, and smacks Burgundy right in the tongue with her Vine Whip. Burgundy growls that Snivy has no respect for her tongue, and Ash nervously calls out his Tepig which stares with utter ^_^ on its face as she glares at it. She glares, Tepig ^_^'s, she glares, Tepig ^_^'s, she glares, Tepig ^_^'s, she glares, Tepig ^_^'s, and she snaps that it is not enough, all Tepig does is sit there with that stupid happy look on its face it doesn't have the attitude to be in Pokémon battles. Furious, Tepig blasts her in the face (again, a reversal of typical Stranger Danger! behaviour) with a fire sneeze. As she coughs up soot, Oshawott leaps out of its Pokéball on its own, toddles up to Burgundy and happily hugs her calf, rubbing its face against it. Surely even the coldest heart would be melted? But no, she glares down, and as the camera points right up at her cameltoe, she declares there is a musty odour about. She is, of course, referring to Oshawott, which doesn't take kindly to the insult and she takes another blast in the face and doesn't even get paid $150 bucks and a line of coke for it.

Next is.... Scraggy - the bizarre fucking thing – and now we know that it was Pidove – poor unused Pidove – that Ash left at Juniper’s Lab. Burgundy mumbles that Scraggy has the aroma of an old shoe.... but even so..... But before she can offer a compliment, it's pants fall down and she grunts that it should be ashamed of itself, so it headbutts her in the chin and she's had enough. Leaping up, she snaps angrily that all of his Pokémon have acidic personalities AND they're paralyzing her tongue!

"I have no idea what you're talking about," says Ash, which is accurate, then mentions that she DID say that Pikachu had a rare fragrance. She retorts bitterly that just because it's rare doesn't make it good, and that Pikachu isn't anywhere near as cute as pictures she has seen of it made it out to be. Well that is ENOUGH for Pikachu, it's one thing to insult its friends and trainer, but to say it isn't cute? This aggression will not stand!

She screams at Ash that all of his Pokémon are horrible and that he has to change all of his Pokémon right away! He yells that he thinks she is wrong, but she roars at him that he will never be a Pokémon Master if he keeps going the way he is, he will never win all eight Gym Badges or make it to the Unova League, it simply will not happen! Just then the curtains are pulled apart and Cilan and Iris are there like concerned parents wondering where their downs-syndrome kid has gotten to. Burgundy spots Cilan and fucking loses it, screaming and pointing at him that she has come for her revenge, REVENGE!

Cilan stares at her and recognises her at last... she challenged at the Striaton Gym and she lost.... but why does she want revenge? She roars that he said hateful things about her and her Pokémon, and she has a flashback to a very un-Cilan like Cilan ranting and raving at her that she has raised and stored her Pokémon in an unacceptable fashion and they have a horrible fragrance so clean your face and buck up your ideas m'laddo!

"I said no such thing," mumbles Cilan, confused.
"It's close enough!" she roars, and explains that she vowed revenge that day, went to the Connoisseurs' Association and got ranked, determined that she would test all Pokémon compatibility on fragrance to prove that she had a better nose for it than Cilan. She returned to the Striaton Gym to demand another battle with Cilan... and learned that he had left on a journey. Well, she is convinced that he did this because he knew she was coming and he feared her, but he tells her he didn't run away at all. He's sorry that she has been looking for revenge, but this isn't a Gym and they can't throw down and have a battle here in the Pokémart. She sniffs haughtily that she ALREADY beat Chili for the Gym Badge, showing it off to him, but she wants to beat HIM so she can move on and open her own Connoisseur Shop and become World Famous an..... and that's when the twerps note that she said open her own shop and realise that this ISN'T her shop. Not only that, she's only a Rank C Connoisseur, meaning she isn't qualified to test compatibility, meaning that everything she said about Ash's compatibility with his Pokémon is WRRRROOOONNNNNG! She insists it doesn't matter, any Connoisseur would say the same thing, but Cilan disagrees, telling Ash he has an excellent relationship with his Pokémon and telling Burgundy that her evaluation methods must be wrong.

Well this is more than Burgundy can take, as Cilan happily talks on about how you can't always go off the manual blah blah blah, she roars that she knows a hundred times more than he'll ever know, and she'll prove it to him by beating him in a Pokémon Battle! Surprising Ash and Iris, Cilan actually accepts!



WHO'S THAT POKEMON!?! IT'S.... woah, it's actually a Pokémon we don't know yet! IT'S DEWOTT!



They head outside and Burgundy asks how a two on two battle sounds. Cilan happily agrees, telling her that it'll be whatever she wants. She calls out Dewott and Cilan is pleased to see that it evolved, while Ash and Iris note that a Grass Type will have the advantage here and it is the perfect time to use Pansage. However, Cilan calls out Dwebble! Ash and Iris are confused, while Burgundy seems delighted and decides to evaluate, telling Cilan that if his ability to choose Pokémon was a food, it would be spoiled. Cilan decides to hit back with EVALUATION of his own, declaring that she should consider this a taste of what he has to offer. She insists that when she wins, he will have to admit that her evaluation style is correct, but he tells her this will never happen. If he is so confident though, she asks, is he willing to agree that if she wins, then Ash will have to replace all of his Pokémon?

Ash, quite rightly, points out angrily that this has nothing to do with him, and to his horror Cilan actually agrees to the deal, telling her that he is putting his A-Class Rank on the line and if he loses, then Ash WILL replace all of his Pokémon. Ash is outraged (again, quite rightly!), yelling that nobody can make this decision for him, but Cilan turns and tells him not to be concerned, it's going to be okay.

Dewott opens with Water Gun, and Dwebble uses Protect, then again to absorb Fury Cutter. Iris notes that Dwebble is only defending, and wonders what Cilan is planning. Burgundy tells him that only defending is a dull choice for an A-Class Connoisseur, and decides to finish things with Water Pulse. The bubble of water hits Dwebble and lifts it into the air, exploding and sending Dwebble crashing to the ground.... where it is absolutely 100% fine! Burgundy can't understand it, how can Dwebble have survived? Cilan explains smugly that this Dwebble's Special Ability is Sturdy, while Ash and Iris notice that Dewott has exhausted itself with its opening flurry of offensive attacks. Dwebble leaps up and uses Shell Smash/X-Scissor, and Dewott tries to use Razor Shell to get in its own attack before its too late... but Dwebble can take it, smashing through the attack and knocking Dewott out on its feet as Dwebble returns to its stone home.

Burgundy recalls Dewott while Cilan explains his methods, how he knew Dwebble's Special Ability would overwhelm its Type Disadvantage. Burgundy seems to take in the info somewhat, but can't deal with being made to look inferior to Cilan again and clenches her fists, insisting that the battle isn't over yet and calling out her Sawsbuck. It's a stag-looking Pokémon - the evolved form of Deerling - with plants on its horns that change with the seasons. She tells him that Sawsbuck is her premium brand, and Cilan calls out his own - Pansage - before telling her that her battle style is a fine mix of strength of courage but it will be some time before the recipe is refined to become a true timeless classic. She roars that all this recipe talk is making her angry AND hungry and demands that Sawsbuck use Horn Leaf, but Pansage easily dodges with Dig. Sawsbuck stops as Burgundy calls it to a halt, trying to figure what the "secret ingredient" in Cilan's Battle Style is. He calls out to her that he's going to reveal his recipe to her now, and proceeds to have Pansage.... shoot Sawsbuck up the butt!

Right up there. Right up the butt! Stranger Danger indeed!

Pansage has leaped out of its Dig, but every time Sawsbuck has tried to attack it, Pansage has used Dig again to escape, appear somewhere else and use Bullet Seed again, culminating in the butt-attack. Cilan agrees that it was sneaky but sometimes you gotta go at it from the back (it's the secret to variety in your marriage!), confusion is another piece of the battle puzzle. Pansage digs up slower than usual and Burgundy takes the opportunity to attack, but it's all part of Cilan's strategy, who takes the Mega Horn attack as the opportunity to unleash Solar Beam. He doesn't even look as the two moves clash, looking up afterwards at the two Pokémon standing dramatically, then declares that the victory is his.... at which point Sawsbuck collapses and the battle is over, Cilan wins and Ash doesn't have to trade his Pokémon! Like he was ever going to!

As the sun sets, Burgundy is preparing to head on down the road, when Cilan stops her to give a speech about how she has potential and just needs time and growth and blah blah blah blah blah....



Finally Burgundy can't take it any longer, she snaps and turns to scream at him that she WILL have her revenge, she'll show him! She's going to be an S-Class Connoisseuse and then he'll know that she's great! Since this is exactly the same thing he was just saying to her seconds earlier, he smiles and agrees and says this will be great, leaving her gaping before leaping into the air and roaring that she will have her revenge before screaming off down the road leaving them behind - Cilan has a rival now, except he's like 100 times better than her, bears her no malice whatsoever, and is looking forward to seeing her improve and encouraging her to do so.... she must absolutely hate his fucking guts!

BEST QUOTES

"Hey, it's a girl!"

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