ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
670: Scraggy – Hatched to Be Wild!	676: Tamago kara Kaetta Abarenbo!	Lookit Dat Fukken Thing			Ash's egg hatches, the Pokémon is a jerk!	Ugh	Don't be a jerk to things that can scare giant electric spiders

Today finds the twerps settled down on some rocks on a hillside looking over the forest. As Ash checks out his badge case and talks to Pikachu about only needing six more badges, Axew is clambering about happily on the rock with their bags/Ash's egg on it. Suddenly the egg begins to glow, and Axew excitedly gets the twerps' attention, bringing them over to see it. Ash picks up the egg case and Cilan tells him that it is near to hatching now, exciting Ash who can't wait to see what kind of Pokémon is it. It IS exciting, Gentle Dodgers, what kind of Pokémon will it be? It could be anything, it's exhilarating, that whole sense of mystery, tha-



Oh it's a Scraggy.

Wait... what's a Scraggy?

They take the egg out of the case and put it down on a towel in the ground, gathered around in excitement - especially Axew which is delighted to be told by Iris that it is going to be a big brother. But Axew gets a little too excited and starts dancing, tripping slightly and knocking the egg off of the towel... and down the hill! In a panic, the twerps chase after, Ash yelling at the egg to stop as if it is capable of doing this. As they rush down the hill, the egg hits a rock and goes sailing into the air, horrifying Ash who orders Pikachu to... use Quick Attack on it!?!

....oh Ash....

But it works out, as Pikachu leaps through the air and grabs the egg before it can crash into a huge jutting rock. Ash rushes up to Pikachu to make sure it is okay, then the egg. Iris and Cilan catch up and ask if it is all right, and Iris and Axew apologise for the egg's troubles. It begins to glow again and they settle around and watch the miracle of birth, as from the egg emerges....



AHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

It.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It... hahahahaha..... it's a.... oh my God.... ahahahahahahahahahaahaha, lookit dat fukken thing. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyway it hitches up its pants (its pants are made of loose skin, grossssss!) and Ash checks it out with his Pokédex, learning that it responds to eye contact with a Head Butt. Ash immediately makes eye contact with it (oh Ash) and says hello, and Pikachu tries the same.... and Scraggy LEERS back in return. It tries to Headbutt Pikachu which easily dodges, and Scraggy skids facefirst along the ground. Ash can't understand why his Pokémon that responds to eye contact with a Headbutt responded to eye contact with a Headbutt. He asks Scraggy if it wants a battle and it seems surprised, then agrees, and Ash happily tells Pikachu to throw down with the newborn baby Pokémon.

They face off, and Ash checks out what Scraggy's moves are, they're.... Leer and Headbutt.

AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Iris responds with surprise that a Pokémon would only know two moves, but Ash quite rightly points out that Axew only knows two moves too! Iris and Axew nervously laugh in acknowledgement, and then Cilan twists the knife by pointing out that (unlike Axew) Scraggy is a newborn Pokémon.

Scraggy rushes in with Leer but all it does is mildly discomfort Pikachu, so Ash has it try Headbutt and it smashes its big head into Pikachu which... rubs its side in confusion at the pitiful weakness of the move. Ash decides it’s time to Counter Attack and orders a THUNDERBOLT then quickly adjusts down to a "Thunder Burp" which still utterly devastates Scraggy. It flies backwards and then hauls itself (and its pants!) back up and stamps its feet about, still wanting to fight. This impresses Ash and Cilan, but Iris notes to Axew that its new little brother is kind of a pain.

Ash calls out his other Pokémon to meet the new kid, and Pidove happily walks up to say hello... and gets headbutted for its troubles! It just stands there trying to absorb this bizarre turn of events, then leaps up in a panic, flapping its wings crazily and retreats backwards. Oshawott comes up next to happily say hello, and gets headbutted as well. Unlike Pidove it doesn't take this lying down, but flies into a fury and tries to throw down with Scraggy, hauled away by Pikachu and Tepig..... and then breaking free and rushing back, it's not done yet!

It slaps Scraggy across the face with its Scalchop, which falls away and Scraggy places one foot on. Furious, Oshawott grabs it back and slaps Scraggy with it again, knocking the newborn back onto the ground. Ash tries to check on it but it leaps up (accidentally headbutting Ash in the process) and rushes back in to fight with Oshawott. It gets hit with a blast of Water Gun, but hitches up its pants to protect against the water. It is driven back a bit though, bumping into Tepig which it turns and immediately headbutts. Tepig rubs its head in confusion but not much pain, while Scraggy looks dazed and concussed from all the headbutts. It spots Snivy sitting up on a rock with its back turned and tries to headbutt her too, running right into the rock and going so punch-drunk that its eyes are rolling in independent directions. It stumbles forward in another attempt to hit Snivy, which snootily slaps its vines back to hold Scraggy in place as it continues futilely trying to rush ahead into it before Snivy pulls the vines away and allows it crash into the ground.

Ash asks it if it hasn't done enough for now, but it sits up and accidentally headbutts him again, knocking him over. Axew dives back into Iris' hair to avoid making eye contact with the still grumpy little Pokémon, which is STILL looking for a fight.

Elsewhere, Team Rocket have made contact with Pierce and been given a rendezvous point. There's nothing more to say about this scene, other than the "coordinates" of the rendezvous are needlessly over complicated and the whole thing has been given an overly serious dark and "professional" feel that is just plain boring.

The twerps are settling in as the sun goes down and eating some food, as well as their Pokémon. That is... the Pokémon are eating food too, not the twerps eating their Pokémon. The sentence structure was all fucked up and I should have just re-written it but well, time makes fools of us all. Anyway, as Team Rocket are making their rendezvous, Ash is trying to get Scraggy to eat. But it is sitting up separate from the rest of the Pokémon, not eating, and Cilan suggests that maybe it can't believe that it got its ass kicked by grown and trained Pokémon.

Later that night as they are all preparing to settle down and get some sleep, Scraggy rushes down to its bowl and begins shovelling food into its gob. Ash brings out a Pokéball and tells it that it is time to get into its Pokéball, but it rushes away and hides behind a rock, shaking its head angrily. Cilan tells Ash that since it has just hatched maybe it wants to stay out, so they all settle in to sleep and leave it out. It sits up on a rock looking at the stars as everyone else sleeps, and Axew wakes up and spots it, hiding in Iris' hair when Scraggy looks towards it. When Axew looks back, Scraggy is missing, and it wakes Iris up in a panic who gets up the other twerps. They head out to find it, following its footprints to a tree where it is practising Headbutt. The move has attracted something else's attention though, and a huge yellow spider Pokémon called Galvantula emerges from behind a root of the tree and approaches menacingly. Apparently it fires electrified threads from its body, and uses its front pincers to "hold opponents down" which sound to me like it fucking eats them alive Jesus Christ!



Ash rushes to help Scraggy which gets over its momentary fright to try and fight. It tries a Headbutt and gets blasted back by a burst of electricity, then zapped by an electric web and then hit by some form of needle attack from Galvantula's butt. It prepares another attack but Pikachu Thunderbolts the fuck out of it and causes it to scuttle back under the roots, eyes glowing purple in the dark.

Ash checks out Scraggy which is suffering paralysis, but there are no Pokémon Centres nearby. Iris and Axew head off to find some herbs, using a mortar and pestle to mix it up and feed the foul tasting stuff to Scraggy which blanches at the taste but immediately improves. It needs a good night's rest according to Iris, and for once it listens and falls asleep in Ash's arms.

Meanwhile Team Rocket have been picked up from the rendezvous point (which was just the top of a roof) in a helicopter that Pierce identifies as Team Rocket's Mobile Research Lab. He introduces them to a monocled, grumpy looking old scientist called Doctor Zager. He takes the Meteonite from them and begins an impressive laser analysis, discovering the shocking data that the meteonite which is a meteorite which is a thing that comes to earth from OUTER SPACE is amazingly, incredibly not from earth! INCREDIBLE!

The Meteonite begins to glow, delighting Zager who says this was just what he was hoping for. They need to do some new tests, and Pierce tells Team Rocket they're heading for their next boring, stupid and uninteresting mission.

The next morning Scraggy is feeling much better, but it refuses to eat breakfast with them, rushing off into the forest again. Axew follows and the twerps... just go on about setting up for breakfast, completely unconcerned over the newborn and the toddler setting off on their own. Axew finds Scraggy back at the tree looking to get in some more headbutt training, but a group of Galvantula surround it. Axew rushes back to the twerps to warn them that something is up, and Ash calls out his Pokémon and asks them to help (Cilan doesn't call out his though, what a jerk!). Back at the tree, Scraggy is completely surrounded and about to be devoured alive when a blast of electricity knocks one of the approaching Galvantula back. Scraggy turns and sees its very first dramatic entrance!



Ash's Pokémon protect Scraggy at his order, which involves them blocking attacks by the Galvantulas aimed at themselves. Oshawott is very proud of its own involvement, so proud it doesn't realise it is about to get creamed and Snivy has to haul it away with Vine Whip to protect it from itself. They drive the Galvantulas away, one of them repeating the cool scuttle back under the root and its eyes glow purple animation from earlier, and Scraggy has been saved. It looks around at all of the Pokémon that helped it, amazed that they'd stand up for it.

They head back to the campsite and settle in for breakfast. Scraggy, STILL antisocial, sits with its back to everyone eating, and Axew tries to engage with it. Every time it moves in front of Scraggy though, Scraggy twists around, pissing off Axew which has had about enough of Scraggy's bad attitude. They get in each other’s faces, alarming Iris and Ash who try to pull them apart... but Cilan tells them that actually they'd be the PERFECT training partners.

Why? Well he doesn't say it, but it's because they're both piss weak!

Scraggy opens with Leer, horrifying Axew and allowing Scraggy to hit a Headbutt. Axew comes back with Scratch though, and follows through with several more but then runs right into another Headbutt. It gets back up though and Iris tells it to use Dragon Rage as Ash calls for another Headbutt, and the two moves crash together, Axew's Dragon Rage not quite going off as it should and leaving both Pokémon knocked out.... it's a draw!

Both Pokémon sit back up and Ash says it sure looked like a real battle to him.... though for some reason Iris is less convinced. They tell their Pokémon that they want them to keep working at it, and Ash tells Scraggy it's time for a rest and takes out a Pokéball. Scraggy accepts this now, and Ash throws the Pokéball high for it to Headbutt, getting sucked into the ball and officially "captured" at last - Ash has a Scraggy - an ugly big-headed, baggy panted jerk with a bad attitude.

Oh my God, it's not a newborn, it's a teenager!

BEST QUOTES

"Thunderbolt let's go.... maybe a bit more like Thunder Burp....."

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